Can older guys live the life of casual sex and partying while avoid commitment/LTR or is it just out of question?

[drakeisfire]

With the way my life is going, I do not want to get married until I am 40 and even if that, I don't even want to get married or settle into an LTR period.

I feel like older guys get less leeway from not just women but society for wanting to sleep around, smash a lot, get laid a lot and have sex with a lot of different women instead of settling down.

Like some 21 year old can work as a bartender at a nightclub and have his fun of sleeping around and partying but if a 30 year old does that, I feel like he is not even likely to get a chance. Maybe it is what I see, I have rarely seen a guy over the age of 30 who has lived the player life outside of a Dan Bilzerian who is 1 out of a million. It seems like most older guys I meet quite frankly suck, they are married with kids or in an LTR, the single ones are losers who don't get laid. My world experience is limited though but I wanted to ask more about this.

Can an older guy really go ALL IN on this kind of a lifestyle or at least have it to where he has his career in whatever (engineering or accounting etc.) but then the rest of his time is dedicated solely to sex, game, socializing with cool players/women and going all in hard on the party hedonist lifestyle?

It seems to be unheard of and even frowned upon on places like this forum where DJs tell older men to settle down.

 

[Spaz]

Depends.

If as a young man of 18 - 29 you were never good with the ladies and remain so for much of your 30's then your forties will be equally bad and even worse.

Can't teach old dogs new tricks.

 

[jnMissouri]

I'm older and I'm having casual hookups pretty frequently when I put in the effort to meet people. I have no idea what that will look like when I get even older. I've heard that a lot of the women who had kids in their 20's are now empty nesters and available to date without the child baggage.

Thank goodness, because this really sucked in my 20's...dating women with kids really blows. I refuse to do it anymore.

 

[guru1000]

Yes, as long as you have tended to your physicality and money, you will attract more and hotter women as you get older up until your appearance begins to depreciate.

The SMV chart for men peaking at 35-38 is not accurate for all men, just most. At mid 40s, I attract hot 9s, pro/amateur models in their early-mid 20s at a much higher rate than I ever could. But I'm an outlier. And most men my age look like crap, nor can attract much.

Men, here, I hope have higher aspirations than the average man. So Be an outlier--if that is your plan.

 

[Sunnypoo]

I'm 46 and settled down. I could have kept that lifestyle going as I look 10 yrs younger. I just got tired of it. If that's what you want to do there will always be women available.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yes, as long as you have tended to your physicality and money, you will attract more and hotter women as you get older up until your appearance begins to depreciate.

I don't think it's black and white like that. Some younger women like older men with money...others will not date anyone who is significantly older than them.

 

[zekko]

You can do pretty much whatever you want. I know older men who have never settled down, they do their own thing, and certain women will also. To my eyes they don't take any more crap than anyone else, although they might say people give them a hard time about it. But the thing is, by the time the OP gets to be 40, he may have changed his mind about a few things. After 14 more years of chasing tail, he may tire of it and wonder if there isn't more to life.

Some younger women like older men with money...others will not date anyone who is significantly older than them.

It's not either or though. Tom Cruise is now 56, and I think he has only recently started to show his age. He looked pretty much the same in his 40s as his 30s. If a guy is high value, he will be able to attract younger women. Some girls will not date significantly older as you say. Others will say that but will quickly change their mind when an older high value man comes into their life.

 

[guru1000]

I don't think it's black and white like that. Some younger women like older men with money...others will not date anyone who is significantly older than them.

What some women desire is irrelevant to the extent that other women desire differently. No man of any age will appeal to all.

Further, what they tell you they think they desire and what they desire are not the same. I have many girls 20 or so years my junior that never dated guys above their own age before. Attraction is not a choice.

 

[mikey2012]

I’m 47 and I’m am banging 18 year old models

 

[mikey2012]

I dump them when they get to 20. White women don’t age well

 

[Who Dares Win]

I believe its a matter of how in shape you are and in which country you live.

Being a middle aged man in britain forget about it, there are so many social stigmas and screwed up ratios that its not gonna happen, young girls are hypergamy or steroids while older ones are better not to be seen naked.

In Russia I see it much more doable given a different sex ratio and a different mind set toward male-female relations.

Clearly there are exceptions but if you are tall with broad shoulders, a strong jawline and head full of hair you would hardly be here asking this.

In some countries I heard girls admitting to think about being gangbanged but showing anm annoyed face when a man 10 yrs older than them approached even if the guy was in shape and cool.

 

[sazc]

I'm not sure of the root question you are asking.

Is it the social stigma you are worried about having to deal with?
Is it your personal capability to pull this lifestyle off that you are asking about?

Anything is possible.

As for the potential social stigma/backlash, understand that society is pretty heavy handed in communicating what path we "should" follow. It's communicated that, by 40, we should be in/should have been in, LTRs, marriage, kids. When people pursue something different than "the norm" that makes OTHER people uncomfortable, fearful, anxious - but that's not YOUR problem.

In truth, we only live once. We should absolutely follow our Bliss.

If this is the lifestyle you want, I suggest you try to move into the mindframe of "IDGAF" when it comes to other people's opinions.

When people say anything to you, if they judge you on your choices, try to remember that this is their fear, their anxiety, their stress that they are trying to project on to you. If your life makes you happy, make no excuses for yourself, and don't explain yourself to anyone.

You don't owe anyone anything but you do owe yourself the opportunity to follow your bliss

 

[SoSuave666]

I'm 32 and continue to do pretty well with women. I find anything over 3 plates is time consuming and expensive...I don't really seek out that kind of life. I'd rather have 2 girls that I enjoy spending time with and just rotate them a couple times a week. I could see myself settling down in the future...I don't have nearly as much energy to focus on women as I did when I was in my early/mid 20s.

 

[RangerMIke]

I don't think it's black and white like that. Some younger women like older men with money...others will not date anyone who is significantly older than them.

Yep.... again it's all up to the chick. I'll be 52 in May, and in the last couple of years have dated women in their 20s. The sex is good, but really I do not enjoy spending time with them otherwise. I've out-grown the things they still like (up past mid-night, partying all night) Been there done that, and that sh!t gets old. So these Autumn/Spring things never last more than a few months.

Chicks in their 20s are LITERALLY emotional butterflies being blown around by the wind. If you are an older man like me... and start chasing them around, you will look like a mental patient. There are chicks that really dig older guys, and if they like you they will find you... then it's up to you to get something started, but as soon as she backs off (which she will) you have to just let her go be a butterfly.

My advice to older men that want to date younger women is don't try to be something that you are not. Guys that try to act young just come off as creepy and it's not going to work unless the chick is mentally ill, or just wants to use you for your money. The other thing you have to do is really work out A LOT. When you hit your 40s, and 50s you really have to watch what you eat, and work out as much as you can. The problem is that your body starts to breakdown and you must have more time between workouts to recover. I can no longer work out everyday, I have to take alternate days off. It's just normal atrophy and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

 

[AJ84]

I work with a woman, early 40s, no kids and never married. At first I thought there was something wrong with her because I think usually there’s a reason someone her age has never been married at least but she’s an exception, I have to say. Maybe assuming there’s someone wrong with older people who never settled down is the wrong way of thinking of things.

She had opportunities to get married but never took it. She volunteers, travels, plays tennis, goes to shows, and dates. I have never heard her say anything negative about men, in fact I have never heard her say anything negative period. She has zero interest in settling down but enjoys dating. She said it used to bother her when people would try to shame her for it but she said, “you just get to an age where you don’t give a flying f**k what other people think, and it’s liberating.” Her words .

And she seems very happy so yeah, like sazc said follow your bliss and give zero flying f**ks what others think.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'm 45+ and in the past year have had s*ex in order with women ages of: 26, 32, 33, 37, 26, 22, 22, 18, 26. You don't find these women on Match or traditional dating sites. Yes, you have to be in pro athlete shape (I am), have a lot of charisma and game (I do), have strong conversation skills (I do), good sense of humor (I do) and have property and assets (I do). You don't have to be "rich," just doing "well." I'm probably well above average looking so that helps too. And I don't pay $ for s*ex.

Ironically, I've tried to find and date women around my age but have been largely unsuccessful. Mainly using OLD which is a 99% waste of time for men in my age group. I've found, even more so than with younger men, there's something about single men in their 40s-50s. Most are VERY beta, have ZERO game, and just drool and project all over women online and IRL. I don't do that. I think, short term, it actually works on older women, all the attention and focus by the older beta male. But, then they get bored *surprise* and start the cycle again, or are very desperate themselves and push and when beta male chases they accept, and that's it. I would NEVER EVER lower myself to these standards. So finding attractive, available women 38-45 has been like finding bigfoot--and teaching him to dance and mix a martini. I'm not even focused on this anymore. Just into STRs, FWB, and NSA with much younger women. I have a good Doberman and friends for companionship, lol.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The very notion that you have to chose between being single having a good time vs. being a settled down family man is in itself a limited way of thinking.

I’ve paved my own very unique path that doesn’t fit into any norm whatsoever.

I lived the single life up to my mid 30s, focusing primarily on career and just having fun. After being diagnosed with and beating stage 4 cancer I rethought things and decided I wanted to be a father, but I was very reluctant to marry and go down that road so many of my friends were miserable in. So I decided to adopt the same battle cry of the “independent woke woman” who claims she don’t need no man to have kids, and ultimately found a suitor who would provide without being that long term divorce threat/ball and chain.

Fast forward 10 years and now, at the age of 45, I’m a single father to a great kid. I love what I do for work and make good money (half way through January and I’ve already made 15+ grand). No nagging wife. No alimony. No child support. I have a FT nanny doing all of the housework and baby sitting. I have a few women to which I have sexual relationships with who do not inject themselves into my private life. With them I go out and have a good time with, living it up. When I am home it is family time.

I’m missing out on nothing and have everything I need from both worlds. Very content and happy. And I can still pursue my search for the “right woman” without even an ounce of thirst or any holes to fill.

If people want to tell me I’m doing it wrong, or cast some type of negative stigma on me for my ways, let them. Deep down many of them probably wish they had done things differently for themselves anyway.

U got a good thing going bro. What do u do for a living?

 

[The Duke]

I'm early 40's. Decent looks. Plenty of money, but you probably wouldn't know it unless you knew me. Great job. Good body. No hair lol. I am good at seducing women and plenty confident. Most girls think I am a little dangerous but they are intrigued by that as well. I almost always hook girls on the first date.

Typically I get women from 35-45. I did get a 21yo a few months back but 20yo's are rare for me. Every now and then I have sex with a HB7, but most are HB8's. I don't have a shortage of good looking women to go out with. In fact its really pretty easy anymore.

 

[zekko]

Typically I get women from 35-45.

That's older than most guys talk about on here. How is the quality? Do you think they are a huge stepdown from 20 year olds?

 

[drakeisfire]

So how is your social life OUTSIDE of dating guys?