Can non DJ like behavior be reversed??

[ntdawg]

Gentleman,

Where has this site been all of my life. If I only knew then what I know now.

As many can relate a few months ago I met and started dating an absolute babe. I did all the things a non DJ does; thinking of her constantly, analyzing if she likes me, was too nice to her, acted as though she was the prize, freaked out a bit when I was tested by her etc etc. That being the case she always had a great time with me.

As you can imagine the romance ended but not quite how it normally does. I was told that she doesn't want to be my girl friend any longer but wants to be really close friends... ouch. I was working with the girl at the time but only had 1 month left so I agreed to keep it neutral for a while. Over that month we became really close emotionally but not pysically.

When I stopped working with her I tried to date her again. I should also probably mention that I found sosuave just after we became "friends". She wanted to keep it just friends so I told her that I was not interested in being just friends and we should end it all.

Now the good bit. She keeps chasing me to be friends again. She misses the emotional support and someone to listen to her. She even tells me how she loves me and cares about me (although in a friends kind of way). Obviously my DJ skills are now much better and I only give her a taste of what she wants. IE I am being some sort of a challenge. The more of a challenge that I am the more she wants to hang out and be really good friends.

Do you think I could harness this interest so that she becomes romantically interested again or do you think that once you have done your dash she will only ever see me as a friend? Basically I would love to be able to undo my bad DJ behavior and kick that spark off in her again.

Any advice?

Obvioulsy I am moving on and dating other women at the same time but am keeping this as a side gig.

Nate.

 

[seanchai]

I don't want to tell you you can get this girl back. It's gonna give you hope which is gonna hurt you in the long run.

But you can.

The only thing is, you're going to fall back into your old patterns and drive her into friends land again, or you're going to be paranoid that you will. Either way, you'll end up unhappy.

Trust me, no matter how great she is, you don't want her back.

 

[Nighthawk]

Yes, if she begins to see you in a new light, especially if you are successful with other women, she may decide she made a mistake letting you go. But it's something you should put no direct effort into, apart from letting her know what she is missing.

You seem to have adopted the right mindset, so the world is your oyster. It's probably best that you don't allow yourself to get hung up on the ones that got away, for that way is the road back to AFCville.