"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Can men and women be just friends?

KontrollerX

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potato said:
I don’t, for a second, believe that men and women can’t be friends. Perhaps what is really being said is that one doesn’t normally have a sexual interest in their same sex friends.

I’m a very likable over the hill woman, very social. I get invited to hang out with people all the time. One can say that I have many friends. Of course, with the males I evaluate them as to their sexual desirability. But I can’t even begin to have sex with them all. The men who I have sex with are men who I am friends with. I have never had sex with a man who I was not friends with.

When I was a child I always had close female friends but in my adulthood all my closest friends have been male. The reason is clear. With men I can achieve an intimate meeting of minds that is only superficial with other women.

If I were to engage in an activity that required absolute secrecy and trust, such as a crime, I would always pick a male to be my partner in crime.
Fixed.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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jafyk

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KontollerX, how are you gonna take someone's quote and change it and then still say it was the quote from the person?
 

Mr. Me

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My gf likes to talk to and have other males as friends. She say that they are just friends and tells me when I question her about it that I am being insecure.
That's the MAIN problem right there. She doesn't say to herself, "My boyfriend doesn't like it when I mingle with male friends. I really love and respect him and don't want to hurt him or lose him, so even though I don't agree with his thinking, I'm gonna cut the cord on these male friends of mine, because my boyfriend is more important. I mean, this is the love of my life I'm talking about!"

Instead, she chides you about being insecure when you make known to her how you feel about this, rather than respect your feelings.

You should've seen this trait of hers before getting into a relationship with her and that's when it should've been handled. Now it's like trying to close the barn door after the cow has left.

The thing to do is not to tell her how you feel but either end things (because this attitude of hers is only the tip of the iceberg and will bite you in other ways as time goes on) or go out and make some new female friends to hang with yourself. See if she doesn't get "insecure".

Guys who become "friends" with women are typically waiting for their chance in her pants. That opportunity comes when she's not too happy in the relationship, doesn't love you as much as she used to.
 

procanto

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Of course!! It depends what kind of woman you are though. But like for me and a bunch of other people I know you can be a friend with a guy and not have feelings for him. You can't like all the guys on the planet theres always guys people don't like, more than guys that they do like (unless your really boy crazy). And being a friend with a guy is just like having a girl as a friend its just... a guy
 

potato

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jafyk said:
KontollerX, how are you gonna take someone's quote and change it and then still say it was the quote from the person?
It’s emblematic in a conservative leaning society, especially one inundated with right wing talk radio. When one disagrees with the point of view of another, one doesn’t debate the issues at hand, usually because one has no credible counter argument beyond the usual slogans, rather they focus all their energy in mischaracterizing their opponent.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Hooligan Harry

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Sometimes men and women can be friends but its very rare. One of my best friends is a woman. We grew up together though. The thought of having sex with her makes my skin crawl. I want to bang her as much as I would wanna bang one of my cousins.
 

KontrollerX

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potato said:
It’s emblematic in a conservative leaning society, especially one inundated with right wing talk radio. When one disagrees with the point of view of another, one doesn’t debate the issues at hand, usually because one has no credible counter argument beyond the usual slogans, rather they focus all their energy in mischaracterizing their opponent.
In other words potato is an over the hill lesbian romance novel author and a message board troll that is not worth responding to in any serious manner whatsoever.
 

I'm Charming

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Can men and women ever be friends?

Not if there is active desire on the males part, said women would have to be really ugly and what self respecting dude hangs with the uglies, I mean really?

Active desire means a dude wants something more, who wants to have second best? In this case a "friendship", all guys (should) know it is a waste of time because women do not want to accept men on a emotional level - the only language women speak, they'll happily dump their crap on you but dont expect them to give a sh*t about your emotional needs - they want you to grow a pair.

So periodically - NO.
 
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