Can introverts become good DJs?

[speakeasy]

I am naturally an introvert. That doesn't mean that I cannot be sociable or not enjoy it, it just means that I'm usually not an initiator in social contact and prefer to listen more than talk most the time. A lot of times I'll feel awkward in social situations, but not to any bad degree, I just feel like I have to make a conscious effort to be just as sociable as the naturally talkative people, teling myself things like "ok...you haven't said anything in 5 minutes, start talking soon....don't lean against the wall, get back in the circle...blah blah". I've never been the "life of the party" type, or the popular guy in high school, but I've been more like the type of dude people would say "is a cool, laid back guy".

Sometimes I feel like most of this stuff about game, and sarging and being a playa, it's a requirement that you be an extrovert. Because I feel like this stuff is so unnatural to my personality. Are any of you guys naturally introverts, but were able to learn the game well and have success.

For those of you into the meyer-briggs stuff, my personality type is INTP, which is probably one of the worst you could have for being good with girls.

 

[Quiksilver]

With that attitude, you're putting your head on the chopping(or chumping) block.

You wouldn't be here if you were truely an introvert. Somewhere inside you is a desire to be popular, cool, and talkative. You just have to find that voice and listen to it. Right now you're very self-conscious, likely because you don't have faith in your ability to socialize.

You're going to have to force your progress. Grab yourself by the balls and throw yourself into social situations. Start calling people, arranging gatherings, throwing parties, inviting people to go places, anything you can think of. Like any skill, to develop it you have to practice-practice-practice.

Have you ever started something you knew you didn't like, and grew to enjoy it over time? That's what you're going to have to do here. Learn to love the challenge of overcoming your introvertedness.

p.s. 99% of introverts were developed that way. Trust me, I used to(and still am to an extent) a person who enjoys doing things on my own. However, being a healthy monkey requires socialization.

 

[reset]

I'm like this too, except when I get going on a topic I'm interested in, I can't shut up. Other than that I say less but when I talk it's usually about something. If you are like this, and are CONFIDENT (not just shy) at the same time, you come off as mysterious/interesting/ hard to figure out to chicks. Besides women like it when they have to work to keep your attention... you know that they like a challenge.

Contrast this with some guys who go to the other extreme, always trying to enterain, impress, have to be the center of attention... it's really annoying to men and women.

I guess the key is to be a good listener. Most people like to talk about themselves, and if they are going to be more talkative than you, all you really need to do is listen to them, and ask questions to keep things going.

The impression you give is you're interested in them, but at the same time you're showing that it takes a little work to keep you interested, and they will do their best to... keep you interested.

You don't have to be an extrovert. You just can't be scared. I have girls crazy about me that I've barely said a few sentences to, but those little interactions have kept them coming for more. And that's what you want, for them to keep coming for more.

There's nothing wrong with being a cool, laid back guy. It's not what you SAY anyhow. It's how you carry yourself. See yourself as the quiet, strong, mysterious type, and others will see you that way too.

And when you start connecting with someone, all that goes out the window anyway. It's not work at that point. So don't worry too much about it.

 

[backbreaker]

that's acatually a very good question.

The common virtue of a DJ is thought to be this guy who is built like a brickhouse, with his peacock gear on, being ****y and making jokes to everywoman within ears distance

Some people are like that. not all.

the Extrovert has an advantage because of the aforementioned. He's the life of the party.

if done right, the Introvert has an advantage because he is silent yet confident.

I'm an introvert to the fullest.. only child until I was grown, my mom worked out of town. i still talk to myself. I prefer being alone. I'm not one of many words although I'm well spoken and not shy when I do open my mouth.. I just don't like to.

The way I drive women crazy is different than how the extrovert does. Women like 'unpealing' me. play to this. be a mystery. Treat bits of personal information like gold.. women love it! Little Things like, my fav color (I actually don't have one, but make some stupid **** up.... royal blue.. whatever), my fav food, how many brothers and sisters I have.. because you are introverted you don't share this information. don't' make the mistake of throwing it up on the 1st or 2nd date to try to impress her. what I find attractive in women.

Also, because I have a habit of wanting to be alone, when I have "other things going on' there is no question of my motives.. it's just "how I am" and that's that. I say "I'm going to sleep" and that's that.

Again, don't make the mistake of thinking that introverts are shy. I know extravert's who are scared ****less of women. Talking to women has little to do with being an introvert or an extrovert. it has more to do with having balls.

Now, HOW I approach is different, I don't have long drawn out conversations, I get to the point and move on.

when i first got in to the game, or back into it, i had to take baby steps. I had to to go places I was uncomfortable in, and just sit there. I hadn't been out in so long (my company) that was even a big step for me. Just really being in public.

Then I took it from there to actually making eye contact with women.

Then from there I would speak.. not talk to them but speak. maybe smile.

Once I got comfortable with that I would try to hold a conversation.. not a sexual one.. just talking to. Again, baby steps.

then hold a conversation with an ATTRACTIVE woman.

then, right when I got ready to ask my first girl out, she asked me out first. So that went good. But even after that, just make a habit. I went from being a true hermit to going on a 100 woman number asking spree in a period of 5 months.. and I was batting around 35 percent... now, of course all of them didn't work out.. but a hell of alot of them did.

 

[backbreaker]

With that attitude, you're putting your head on the chopping(or chumping) block.

You wouldn't be here if you were truely an introvert. Somewhere inside you is a desire to be popular, cool, and talkative. You just have to find that voice and listen to it. Right now you're very self-conscious, likely because you don't have faith in your ability to socialize.

You're going to have to force your progress. Grab yourself by the balls and throw yourself into social situations. Start calling people, arranging gatherings, throwing parties, inviting people to go places, anything you can think of. Like any skill, to develop it you have to practice-practice-practice.

Have you ever started something you knew you didn't like, and grew to enjoy it over time? That's what you're going to have to do here. Learn to love the challenge of overcoming your introvertedness.

p.s. 99% of introverts were developed that way. Trust me, I used to(and still am to an extent) a person who enjoys doing things on my own. However, being a healthy monkey requires socialization.

you are misdefining what an introvert is.

Being shy is not being interverted. Being uncool is not being introverted. Thus being extroverted is not necessarily being cool or popular.

interverted people just like being alone, and prefer to do things themselves. Perfer not to talk. They keep their emotions inwards

Extroverted people are the polar opposite.

My father is extraverted. If he isn't hte life of the party he isn't having fun. My mom is introverted (and I take alot of traits after my mom). Prefers to be by herself, doesn't like talking to much, is happy at home reading a book.

AND SHE'S A PUBLIC SPEAKER! But at soon as her presentation is done, she gets right back in the shell.

She will talk you to death if she has to (Trust me) but prefers not to and will go out of the way not to.. actually that sounds like me


I've been an introvert my entire life. However I've NEVER been shy... even when I didn't talk to women I wasn't necessary scared of them. however it was something i just didn't want to do.

 

[Hitman10000]

I'm an introvert myself yet some would not believe I am able to pull in a chick within a couple weeks right after I get breakup with a girl. However I had to train myself...to train myself to accept who I was rather than listening to some anonymous person on the internet to tell me that I should mimic my extroverted cousins. Try not to associate "shyness" with "introvert" those are two different things.

The most important tips you should know for an introvert is:

1. Go for an extroverted girl if possible.

2. Strike fast when asking for a date/contact info.

3. If you consider yourself "shy" , forget dating till you "unshy" yourself.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm an introvert myself yet some would not believe I am able to pull in a chick within a couple weeks right after I get breakup with a girl. However I had to train myself...to train myself to accept who I was rather than listening to some anonymous person on the internet to tell me that I should mimic my extroverted cousins. Try not to associate "shyness" with "introvert" those are two different things.

The most important tips you should know for an introvert is:

1. Go for an extroverted girl if possible.

2. Strike fast when asking for a date/contact info.

3. If you consider yourself "shy" , forget dating till you "unshy" yourself.

damn good advice. The biggest thing is to make the distinction between being shy and being an introvert.

 

[speakeasy]

1. Go for an extroverted girl if possible.

Why is that? Wouldn't an introverted girl maybe understand you better? Or not find it so odd when you don't want to blather away about nothing for hours on end?

Even though I'm an introvert, I actually do enjoy talking when it's something I feel is worthy of talking about or something I find particularly interesting or passionate about. But there's few things I hate as much as having to make small talk. There are times I've had to go out to lunch with a boss and I know that it's just going to be hour of trying to fill up the air with words and making light chit chat about stuff I could care less about.

 

[The Librarian]

I'm a huge introvert myself. Having dated both introverted and extroverted girls, I find that extroverted girls interest me more. Their extroversion often inclines me to push the bounderies of my comfort-zone and experience things that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise. At the same time, though, extremely extroverted girls can be hard to keep up with.

As to the initial question, I think backbreaker says it all.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...For those of you into the meyer-briggs stuff, my personality type is INTP, which is probably one of the worst you could have for being good with girls.

I use to be an INTJ. Now I'm on the cusp between ENTJ and ENTP. I was able to sarge quite well as an INTJ but the market of women expanded when I changed into the ENTx.

You need to decide whether or not you enjoy your particular classification enough to live the lifestyle that you're leading. If so, learn to live with it. If not, change it. It's your choice.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm an introvert myself yet some would not believe I am able to pull in a chick within a couple weeks right after I get breakup with a girl. However I had to train myself...to train myself to accept who I was rather than listening to some anonymous person on the internet to tell me that I should mimic my extroverted cousins. Try not to associate "shyness" with "introvert" those are two different things.

The most important tips you should know for an introvert is:

1. Go for an extroverted girl if possible.

2. Strike fast when asking for a date/contact info.

3. If you consider yourself "shy" , forget dating till you "unshy" yourself.

:yes: I pretty much did those exact things and I definitely agree that introvert doesn't have to be shy. It's more of an introspective thing than an interactive thing. The shy thing will definitely hold you back.

 

[Jestor]

I am naturally an introvert. That doesn't mean that I cannot be sociable or not enjoy it, it just means that I'm usually not an initiator in social contact and prefer to listen more than talk most the time. A lot of times I'll feel awkward in social situations, but not to any bad degree, I just feel like I have to make a conscious effort to be just as sociable as the naturally talkative people, teling myself things like "ok...you haven't said anything in 5 minutes, start talking soon....don't lean against the wall, get back in the circle...blah blah". I've never been the "life of the party" type, or the popular guy in high school, but I've been more like the type of dude people would say "is a cool, laid back guy".

Sometimes I feel like most of this stuff about game, and sarging and being a playa, it's a requirement that you be an extrovert. Because I feel like this stuff is so unnatural to my personality. Are any of you guys naturally introverts, but were able to learn the game well and have success.

For those of you into the meyer-briggs stuff, my personality type is INTP, which is probably one of the worst you could have for being good with girls.

I'm kind of introverted too. I believe the statistic is that 40% of the population is naturally introverted.

I can be very social when the occasions present themselves, but those are "active" periods which can wear me out if they go on too long. Being introverted is a state of rest for me, and not at all about being anti-social (although I was somewhat anti-social once upon a time). It lets me reflect on things in an undistracted way, until such time to flip the "switch" and be social again.

 

[speakeasy]

Good replies here guys. I especially like the distinction you make between shy and introverted. You guys are right, they are not necessarily the same. I have to figure out a way to play up the "quite confidence" thing. I can see how if you combine confidence with introversion, it may give you a certain mystique, someone like Prince is probably a perfect example. The guy is very private and doesn't talk much or do interviews, but he's obviously very confident and has this cult of personality about him. I'm not an extreme introvert, more like a moderate introvert. I like socializing with people I enjoy being around, but can get easily worn out when I'm in a situation where I'm forced to have my mouth constantly running with mundane small talk.

It seems like though, being quiet isn't going to help you in a bar/club situation unless you are VERY good-looking and attract attention from women without having to do anything. But I am just average looks-wise, so I need to do something to reach out or my quiet confidence will go unnoticed.

 

[aussiegoat55]

I am naturally an introvert. That doesn't mean that I cannot be sociable or not enjoy it, it just means that I'm usually not an initiator in social contact and prefer to listen more than talk most the time. A lot of times I'll feel awkward in social situations, but not to any bad degree, I just feel like I have to make a conscious effort to be just as sociable as the naturally talkative people, teling myself things like "ok...you haven't said anything in 5 minutes, start talking soon....don't lean against the wall, get back in the circle...blah blah". I've never been the "life of the party" type, or the popular guy in high school, but I've been more like the type of dude people would say "is a cool, laid back guy".

Sometimes I feel like most of this stuff about game, and sarging and being a playa, it's a requirement that you be an extrovert. Because I feel like this stuff is so unnatural to my personality. Are any of you guys naturally introverts, but were able to learn the game well and have success.

For those of you into the meyer-briggs stuff, my personality type is INTP, which is probably one of the worst you could have for being good with girls.

It can be done. I was once more introverted, now I'm more extroverted yet still have a degree of introvertedness, I went from having 1 social group and 1extracurricular activity to having 3 social groups + dating life + extracurricular activities so I became way more social, though I've had to put some friends on the back burner.

It all centers around confidence. Confidence is the core. If there is one thing you could acquire from this site that would show you the greatest amount of success, it would be confidence. Once you're a confident person you don't need to know all the rules, tips, and tricks, although they can help. Anyways, I'm digressing.

It's not so much a requirement that you be extroverted, but it's how your attitude and personality will gradually adjust overtime.

So work on confidence by improving weak areas in your life. For me I was real blessed to have a huge running start at self improvement. I have a great and strong character, good looks, strong thick build, smart, interesting, athletic, well traveled, etc. There was only one area of my life that could use improvement, girls and dating. Work on changing body language, make eye contact, be conversationalist, and step out of your comfort zone. Be the first one to participate or volunteer. I was once self conscious of my actions, words, and mistakes because I would remember them. But guess what? They won't remember your slip ups or small mistakes. Nobody is watching you. You have to go in those situations and think to yourself, "I don't care what people think of me and that nobody is watching me."

I think there is no better way to fix your situation than by stepping out of your comfort zones and trying extroverted activities. Confidence grows over time, could take months, sometimes it takes people years.

So yes, the advice was scattered and random but I have to say a lot on this topic. Good luck, if you have any questions, continue to ask.

It can be done.

 

[lildevil]

Its true...being a shy doesn't have to do anything with being introverted...being introverted is just being someone who would rather spend time with himself rearange your thoughts...being shy is the person who is not very sociable..and gets nervous when metting new people or girls....

About a year ago i can say i was really introverted..and i knew that i could be more sociable...but to become more sociable i had to learn to get out of my shell....for 3 months i did some exercises to get the shyness away...from saying hi to a girl...asking for the time..sometimes it would be a train wreck sometimes it wouldnt....the introveterd sise kind of helped me alot...because i could really go deep down and no what i was doing right and wrong.....

When i found out why i was doing things wrong....it went through my whole social programming....who i was(AFC)....i kept doing the exercises trying to reagain everything that i coul my integrity...my will my power ...everything...

If your shy it means...that you...your soul...has never gone against that feeling that anxiety...so its kind of scrared.... it doesnt want to do it...to your mind it incates danger...like the one you would get from bunjee jumping or a scary situation...


So first get some books on how the mind works...how to overcome shyness...things like that they will help you if you by the right ones...