Can I trust a single mom with kid?

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Epic Days

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Sup boys

I was spinning plates till about a few months ago. One of my plates, a single 25 yo bartender with a child developed into my favorite. Hottest, nice ass, and fun to hang out with. I'm pretty busy and spinning several just became too difficult, so gradually I let most of them go.

This girl so far shows all characteristics that I value: Respectful of my time, respectful of my needs (physical), and always offers to pay when we go out (an important personality trait for me), never wants to assume that I will take care of her.

Question is for those of you who have been in similar situations, is this a woman I can trust even though she shows those traits? Or could this always be a facade?
Trust. That’s a tricky one. How about understanding life, masculinity and femininity and all the things on this site...then realize that you can trust a woman to be a woman. Nothing more and nothing less.
Respect can be faked. Anything can be faked. Trust only you and your instincts.
 

bcude

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Funny thing i knew this crazy (beta) guy who was dating a stripper. He was the one taking her kids out for halloween while she was working the pole.

We were like "dude WTF is wrong with you?"
dude had 99 problems, but the b1tch wasn't one
 

Epic Days

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Funny thing i knew this crazy (beta) guy who was dating a stripper. He was the one taking her kids out for halloween while she was working the pole.

We were like "dude WTF is wrong with you?"
True that guy had issues. But what about that stripper’s kids? How many men have they been through. Stupid b!tch.
 
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Roober

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Single moms have a higher risk, as in you need to approach with far more caution.

The relationship with the father seems to be one of the biggest indicators of quality. Did she leave him or vice versa? Does he still want to be a part of the kids life? Do they share 50/50? Are they cordial now? Is there still looming passion between them?

Then look at her situation. Is she self-sufficient? Does she rent/own her own place? Does she maintain it?

And her job is another warning sign, but not necessarily a deal breaker. Does she go home after work? Does she regularly party with coworkers? How much of that indulgent lifestyle has encompassed her life?

Lots of things for you to examine here, and a single 25 year old mom bartender definitely should be a warning, but maybe not a deal breaker. I'm not suggesting she is LTR material either as that is up to you. Just don't get wrapped up in too deep...
 

Desdinova

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single moms (widows are the exception) made a mistake and they know they'll have to pay dearly, as their SMV has cratered and the dating pool has shrunk. Ask yourself these questions:

Why would you want to be second or third?
I always wondered why single moms were always worse to date, regardless of their age than childless women in their 30s. The problem isn't that the man can never be first. The problem is the man can never be second. The guy who alpha-widowed her takes the top spot, and it's not necessarily the guy who fathered her child. She will push her child aside in order to please that one guy. With the exception of him being the father of the child, it's rare that he'll come back into her life after she poops out a kid.

The child always takes the 2nd spot. The best any new man can hope for is to be 3rd in her life. It's a really crummy place to be in her hierarchy. That's why these women aren't worth anything more than a fvck n' toss. They're damaged, they made no effort to keep their child's father in their life and home, and their top spots are taken by other people.
 

Roober

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I always wondered why single moms were always worse to date, regardless of their age than childless women in their 30s. The problem isn't that the man can never be first. The problem is the man can never be second. The guy who alpha-widowed her takes the top spot, and it's not necessarily the guy who fathered her child. She will push her child aside in order to please that one guy. With the exception of him being the father of the child, it's rare that he'll come back into her life after she poops out a kid.

The child always takes the 2nd spot. The best any new man can hope for is to be 3rd in her life. It's a really crummy place to be in her hierarchy. That's why these women aren't worth anything more than a fvck n' toss. They're damaged, they made no effort to keep their child's father in their life and home, and their top spots are taken by other people.
There is a lot of assumptions taken into your argument, too many to list in fact. While I would agree that single moms are a much higher risk, there are too many factors to state the issue so simply.

When you take two imperfect people in a world that constantly finds ways to divide them, you see the amalgamation of a literal $hitshow. This is one which few relationships can survive...
 

bcude

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I always wondered why single moms were always worse to date, regardless of their age than childless women in their 30s. The problem isn't that the man can never be first. The problem is the man can never be second. The guy who alpha-widowed her takes the top spot, and it's not necessarily the guy who fathered her child. She will push her child aside in order to please that one guy. With the exception of him being the father of the child, it's rare that he'll come back into her life after she poops out a kid.

The child always takes the 2nd spot. The best any new man can hope for is to be 3rd in her life. It's a really crummy place to be in her hierarchy. That's why these women aren't worth anything more than a fvck n' toss. They're damaged, they made no effort to keep their child's father in their life and home, and their top spots are taken by other people.
While i totally agree with the meat of your message. How can you be so sure that one guy ranks before her own child, since he has to compete with unconditional love between mother and child? (as far as unconditional love goes)

I actually have two examples of single mom's, even with a relative of mine where the mother was told by the guy that he didn't love her and never did, he mainly used her as a child producing factory to father some children. That was the reason they both left their guys and became single moms. Quite ****ty situation and you can make arguments to vet the guys better beforehand, but It's not always black and white and people can put up an act quite well. Anyway, they become damaged from the experience and are bad choices most of the time.
 

biggoal

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I always wondered why single moms were always worse to date, regardless of their age than childless women in their 30s. The problem isn't that the man can never be first. The problem is the man can never be second. The guy who alpha-widowed her takes the top spot, and it's not necessarily the guy who fathered her child. She will push her child aside in order to please that one guy. With the exception of him being the father of the child, it's rare that he'll come back into her life after she poops out a kid.

The child always takes the 2nd spot. The best any new man can hope for is to be 3rd in her life. It's a really crummy place to be in her hierarchy. That's why these women aren't worth anything more than a fvck n' toss. They're damaged, they made no effort to keep their child's father in their life and home, and their top spots are taken by other people.
Woudl you in most cases say it's the woman who is crazy and the guy left her because he couldn't stand her anymore or the other way around? Women always blame the guy for being crazy.
 
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billtx49

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Woudl you in most cases say it's the woman who is crazy and the guy left her because he couldn't stand her anymore or the other way around? Women always blame the guy for being crazy.
The truth usually lies somewhere in the middle unless one person is certifiably mental …
The blame game is only a personal responsibility shirk.
 

derby1

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Woudl you in most cases say it's the woman who is crazy and the guy left her because he couldn't stand her anymore or the other way around? Women always blame the guy for being crazy.
no outcome speaks good of a woman in a single mom scenario, shes allowed a bum to fire baby gravy up her, or shes drove a good man away....bare in mind its the woman who generally finishes the relationship...your everyday guy isnt on this site, and probably knows how hard it was for him to even tie down that one woman...its highly unlikely he dumped her like a pimp
 

biggoal

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no outcome speaks good of a woman in a single mom scenario, shes allowed a bum to fire baby gravy up her, or shes drove a good man away....bare in mind its the woman who generally finishes the relationship...your everyday guy isnt on this site, and probably knows how hard it was for him to even tie down that one woman...its highly unlikely he dumped her like a pimp
Now what about some of these high end HBs from OLD I've went on dates on that were divorced and no kids? They seemed nutty and makes me think the guys got up and left because even with the hotness they couldn't stand them.
 

derby1

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thats what i meant shes such a **** head she drove a good man away, most men dont walk away from their kids.....so if they do..........
 

RickTheToad

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It is said the ladies are on this Earth to procreate. That is there God given function. For hundreds of thousands of years ladies procreated for the good of mankind. Now, within the last 20 - 30 years, they no longer want to procreate until past their time. When the clock ticks, 38, 39, 40, etc. they finally have learned their time has past and it's too late. They can blame past partners or the dude on the moon, in the end it's their fault for not popping out a child and the best age for procration. Instead, the feminists tell them to live wild and experience life. Settle down later. The reality is that later comes with serious risks for the lady and the kid. In the end, for the one's who can't have kids and are divorced, they go a bit looney and are in a very dark place due to missed opertunities in their life. If they are a single child it's even worse. It worse because they failed to continue on their family's bloodline. When she dies, so does her family.

Storytime. I knew these two cousins, both single children. Neighter had kids. One was divorced twice. Once when she was 33, then again at 40. She divorced the first dude, who remarried and had two lovely kids with a younger lady. The second one she refused to procreate with so he divorced her pretty fast. I believe she's 44 or 45 now and childless. I saw a pic of her the other day, she looks mad. Her cousin married a single dad and he told her he'd never have another child. She seems happy raising this dude's kid, but she does pester him from time to time for a child. She doesn't know, but just in case, he had a vasectomy. The family, on both the lady's side is over. It has hit one of them, the reality of no heir, the other one is younger so it hasn't hit her yet.

One word. Sad.
 
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Desdinova

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How can you be so sure that one guy ranks before her own child, since he has to compete with unconditional love between mother and child?
Just because a woman has a child, it doesn't mean she's going to stop living in the moment of how she feels. I've seen women drag their kids through their romantic adventures. A few will avoid exposing their children to random men, and that's usually because their interest isn't all that high in him. If that one guy comes back into her life at some point, you bet your ass she's going to try and get him to play daddy regardless of whether the child is his or not. If she's still madly in love with him (and she is), she's going to make excuses to bring her child along for the ride. "Oh, he'd be a good dad", "He gets along with his nephew, so he's good with kids", etc etc.

Woudl you in most cases say it's the woman who is crazy and the guy left her because he couldn't stand her anymore or the other way around? Women always blame the guy for being crazy.
It doesn't matter. If she chooses to procreate with a piece of 5hit man, it was "her body, her choice". She chose him to be the dad. She chose him to fvck. She chose to avoid going on birth control while she was fvcking him. She should have been with him for longer before "forgetting" to take her birth control. She should have established a relationship with him first.

Too much blame is put on the guy. His options for birth control are 1) Condom, 2) Pulling Out, 3) Vasectomy. Her birth control options are endless. She's the one who is more in control of whether she gets pregnant or not.
 
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