can I pull it off?

[KillingTime]

I used to be a major AFC, not very long ago actually. About two years ago I had the BIGGEST crush I have ever had, i was a total wuss and bought the girl presents constantly, was always there for her... the whole nine yards and more. We were best friends but i Constantly begged and begged her to go out with me and told her I loved her all the time.... i was such an idiot. SOMEHOW, after like a year and a half, we stopped talking for a month and BOOM! Suddenly she told me she wanted me and wanted to be my g/f. Two days later things changed, she's very religious and told me the only reason she wanted me was for sex... she didn't want to be my g/f b/c she didn't really love me, she just wanted to f*ck and she wants to wait until marriage. She said if she started dating me she might do something she will regret blah blah.... being the AFC I was I just snapped and we had the biggest blowout ever, I mean HUGE HUGE HUGE argument. That was the end. Didn't see or hear from her until about 6-8 months later. She IM's me and says she has put the past aside and wants to talk again, by this point I have gotten my self-confidence WAY up and could care less about her. So we've just been talkin online for a few months, it seems like a whole new beginning. im totally different to her, we're not even all that close despite our past... it really does seem like a completely new beginning.

Recently she asked me if I would go visit her at work sometime, im guessin I will when I find the time. My question is, do you think the past is truly forgotten.... do I have a chance to snag this one? I really don't even care about her anymore but she is cute, not really lookin for anything but if we were to hit it off I wouldn't mind dating her, but do I have a chance? Im 100% completely different with her now but what are the odds of my huge afc past creeping into her mind? Either way im gonna go for it since I could care less, but want to get some opinions or maybe advice from anyone whos been in a similar situation.

 

[Hollowpoint]

I myself find myself in a situation similar to yours, I've improved so much (not just this site.....don't get all inflated head now. )

I'd go flirt with it, but not hedge my bets on it.
Beware of going AFC again...

 

[KillingTime]

Cool. Well I just found out this girl I really like is going to be gone for 5 weeks and I will have no access to her at all, didn't let it show when I talked to her but I am pretty down about it. I suppose havin some fun with this other chick will at least help move my mind away from this one and hey, a chance to practice my skills on a hot girl that i have no feelings for can't hurt.

 

[legolas]

Is it worth it?

My question to you is "Is she really worth it?" After all the time you've spent with her and thinking about her when she's not around, not to mention all the money and the gifts. What did she ever do for you to deserve all the gifts and all the attention? And what does she do now to deserve more of your attention? What she's hot? That's it????? Is that enough? Oh she has a "good" personality? Yeah after accepting all the gifts from you and giiving you the boot, instead of saying "Sorry, I can't accept it"

No my friend, I don't think she's worth it. I know it hard for you to think of dating or seeing or meeting other women, but eventually it's going to get to that point. Why? Because she has cast you in a certain category in her head, and once people do that, it's hard to change it. You've already cast her into your "potential g/f" category. Now tell me, is it easy for you to change it into the "b*tch" category? Probably seems unthinkable to you right?

Well I suspect that the reason that she wants you "back" is because she hopes you have changed back to the guy that you were before, and once she sees the new you, she'll beging to throw tantrums and begin to want to change you back to that old you. Which is why it is best for you to find a girl who has no opinion of you at all, and then SHOW her the "new" you and she'll accept it as "you" because that's all she's been exposed to, if she likes you that is

Keep the friendship with this girl, in fact ask her to remain good friends, and maybe she'll introduce you to other girls that she knows and that you can date. Although even this is is dangerous if she harbors any type of feelings for you, like retaliation and tries to screw your relationships with them. Hang out with her, and observe how she acts towards you, NOT WHAT SHE SAYS, but how she acts. If she acts possesive of you, this is a red flag. If she acts detached then keep collecting evidence that she's fine with you.

In other words, don't bother pursuing it. The past is never forgotten. It always influences our decisions for the future. Go and find yourself another girl. Even if this one acts interested, do not get tangled n her web again, if you don't want to hurt your heart again. Protect that heart. It took you long enough just to heal it, now you should protect it from more hurt.