"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Can I get a third date if I play it cool?!

Flintlockwood

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I met this lady on an internet dating site. Before our first date we used to chat on the phone quite a bit. Often for one and a half hours at a time. It just felt good and we did it a lot.

Anyway, we met up eventually on Tuesday for a meal and the date went really well. All the signs looked good and she suggested twice during the date that we should meet up again on Saturday (yesterday). This was when we originally had scheduled the first date so in effect we set the second date up before the first.

So we met up yesterday during the day for the second date, she came to mine for a coffee and we went for a walk. The night before she had a female friend staying and they consumed a fair amount of alcohol. Consequently, my date wasn't feeling 100% during our walk. She was pretty quiet towards the end of the date and I worry about whether this was because she was having second thoughts.

To put the situation in context, she is 38 and I am 41. She has two young children and the father of her children left her just after they had the second child. He hardly sees them so she cares for them 99% of the time as well as holding down a full time job so I'm guessing she doesn't have much time to socialise. Anyway, she has had a lot going on this weekend with family visiting etc for her daughters Christening which is today.

She messaged me last night after she got home from our second date and apologised for her tiredness and made a few references to events during the date. This was about 9pm last night. I haven't replied to her message yet.

Now I've been on quite a few dates over the past 24 months. On the whole they have been successful. But as others may find. When you actually really like a lady you tend to act too keen. So in mind of this my question is this. Should I at least return her text and say that I had a good time on the second date and make references to her last text? And when should I ask her out for a third date? I was thinking to leave it a couple of days and then phone and ask her in person. Any advice most welcome.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TheCWord

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Everything sounds fine. She has a hectic life, she was boozing with her friend the night before, and she still followed through with plans for your walk and coffee. That's high interest.

She texts you to apologize for being tired - that's what they'd call on here "good behavior." Gotta reply to that stuff.

After you've replied, you can do like Mauser said above and just hang back for a couple days before making new plans. Wouldn't be surprised if she tries setting something up before you do.

Good luck.
 

Flintlockwood

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Thanks so much for the advice guys. I replied to her text earlier today but I didn't mention another rendezvous. I will call her on Tuesday or Wednesday night to have a chat and ask her out again. Any suggestions for things we can do?

I was thinking of inviting her over mine for a meal. Although, she has to get a babysitter if she wants to go out for the night and we live about 45 minutes apart. So I was thinking of planning something nearer to her. If I receive any texts from her in the meantime I guess I continue to reply but not too soon?
 
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