Can I fix this?

[guittarjedi]

To experienced PUAs out there. I need suggestions on how to fix a relationship that I completely ruined by bad gaming.

I was gaming a girl that I work with. I was building attraction with C+F. It was working, we were flirtatious making great eye contact and we got along great. But I didn't know the value of building rapport and rushed in to asking for a get together way too soon. She flaked and I left an angry message on her voice mail.

Then I started using Ganji games. This seemed to be working, but I took them too far. She would try to talk to me and I completely ignored her 3 times.

After thinking it over and learning from sites like this one, I came to the conclusion that most of this was my fault for failing to build rapport before asking to get together with her. I reasoned that if one of my guy friends flaked on plans to hang out I wouldn't react this harshly.

At this point she began ignoring me so I started being playfull around her and it got her talking again. But she has become ultra sesitive to C+F. She takes C+F from me as a personal insult and often ignores me now. I've tried just being kind and that seems to work but I feel like I've made a mess of this situation. I think she hates me now. I just want to get back to the friendly level we were at before I screwed everything up. Can it be done?

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by guittarjedi
To experienced PUAs out there. I need suggestions on how to fix a relationship that I completely ruined by bad gaming.

I was gaming a girl that I work with. I was building attraction with C+F. It was working, we were flirtatious making great eye contact and we got along great. But I didn't know the value of building rapport and rushed in to asking for a get together way too soon. She flaked and I left an angry message on her voice mail.

Then I started using Ganji games. This seemed to be working, but I took them too far. She would try to talk to me and I completely ignored her 3 times.

After thinking it over and learning from sites like this one, I came to the conclusion that most of this was my fault for failing to build rapport before asking to get together with her. I reasoned that if one of my guy friends flaked on plans to hang out I wouldn't react this harshly.

At this point she began ignoring me so I started being playfull around her and it got her talking again. But she has become ultra sesitive to C+F. She takes C+F from me as a personal insult and often ignores me now. I've tried just being kind and that seems to work but I feel like I've made a mess of this situation. I think she hates me now. I just want to get back to the friendly level we were at before I screwed everything up. Can it be done?

i think there was a thread about a similar situation like yours earlier on,

something about one-itis?

i believe that your next step is to forget about this girl and start meeting other [much hotter] girls, that will finish your re-enactment of the story.

 

[Grey Fox]

Sure it can. It will be hard, you'll end up just a friend and nothing more. But I doubt you want to do that. I would suggest flirting with other girls around her, just so she realizes that she is missing out. Also change up your jokes, joke on others, lighten up on the teasing. Make fun of the situation, not her. Be chill with her, just lay of the C+F and games for now. In time she will forget, nows the time to be playfull and light with her. It will help repair things. But the absolute best way to get her interested again is to get other girls interested in you that are at your work place. When 10 other girls think you are hot no matter how much she may be angry with you, she will agree with them. A woman's greatest weakness is the desire to seek acceptance from other women. If you can get that going for you, when you do ask her out after all these other girls think you are hot, she jump at the chance. She'll love the ego boost and won't mind if you treat her like crap, because at least she looks good to other women. This is so long as you appear to be a prize worth winning of course, so bear that in mind.

-Grey Fox

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If you want her then leave her alone and let her see that you have moved on and are pursuing greater things!

She "flaked" fpr a reason! Maybe just maybe she is not attracted to you - have you considered this??

A woman never flakes without an alternative plan if she likes dude!!

 

[Desdinova]

Oh for chrissake, not this again.

YOU HAVE ONE-ITIS

I'm getting tired of reading your posts about this b1tch. You fvcked up. Learn from it and move on. You tried to stick your d1nk in the company ink, now you have to work with someone who resents you.

Deal with your rejection and move on. Quit trying to patch, and re-patch things up with this chick. A tire with 20 patches on it isn't going to be reliable. Get a new tire.

 

[guittarjedi]

Look Desdinova, if your tired of reading my posts, stop reading them.

I'm just trying to get rid of this awkward feeling around a girl that I have to work closely with everyday. It's not about one-itis and it's not about nexting. I would rather be just friends with this girl than just enemies.

I get along with every person I work with. That is something that I feel is important to me. This girl is the only person that I'm having problems communicating with and it didn't used to be this way. I've had falling outs with people in the past and many times we ended up becoming very close friends afterwards. I think with some effort on my part and input from you guys, I could fix this situation.

 

[strong like bull]

i agree with what was already stated - let her watch you pursue greater things. when you see her, be upbeat and friendly, say hi. but dont try to pick up on her. let her sit on the sidelines and watch you in action for a while. dont invest any energy in her until shes practically begging for you to have her number/address/panties.

if you dont mind me giving a bit of advice, something i learned the hard way from personal experience:

try to keep the c&f on the lighter side. for quite some time, i had a very bad habit of taking c&f to the point of me coming off as a conceited, self absorbed *******. but in my eyes i was being some don juan, c&f master. yeah, well, i blew a lot of opportunities. i turned off and scared away a lot of girls, who all i had to do was be upfront, honest, positive and confident. i finally noticed that when some of us try to be c&f, we focus wayyyy too much on the negative. instead of being upbeat, positive, confident and funny, we come out degrading, negative and hurtful.

you know, although it works for some, you dont have to be a smartass, or put people down, or try to come off as better than she is. you COULD IF YOU WANT TO, but if you dont, then lets not try to fake it!

in reality, attraction isnt so complicated. if youre confident and happy about your life, when you meet a girl she will see that. it will intrigue her. talk to her, play with her, have fun with her. whatever you enjoy. yes, whatever YOU ENJOY. BE REAL AND TRUE TO YOURSELF. if she digs ya, she'll want to share your excitement and zest for life (or whatever cards youve got in your hand) and she wont hesitate when you ask for her number, or any other way to keep things moving forward. when a girl is attracted to you, it is hard to make a mistake. when she is not attracted to you, it is hard to do anything right.

-SLB