"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Can I ask my friend for a girl's number? pls respond asap

thechosenone2190

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I know a girl from a class in my first year of college and spoke to her several times. The next semester, I spoke to her a just few times because we have a big lecture class together. One time, our conversation went something like this

Me: So, what'd you do last summer?
Her: I went China.
Me: Really? Cool! I volunteered for the Red Cross last summer, and I went to Darfur Africa. I had to help reunite the kids of the blood diamond with their families.
Her: Really! Wow.... Isn't Darfur really dangerous?
Me: Yea, it was pretty scary.
Her: Wow... (look of amazement) I can't believe you went to Darfur.
Me: Yea...at one point I almost had to use my gun. You see I was about to cross a bridge (I have a big smirk on my face)
Her: OMG! Stop it! (she finally figures out the joke and laughs) OMG
Me: What? You don't believe me? That's fine if you don't believe me. I get that a lot.

Fast forward a 5 months later, I bumped into her at an event, and

Me: Heey [her name]! How are you! (big smile)
Her: Hey! How are you!
Me: Great!
Her: What are you doing this summer?
Me: Oh, I don't know yet. I'm still working on it.
Her: Yea, you have to tell me what you're doing this summer before this summer comes.
Me: Why?
Her: Because last time you told me, you didn't seem like you were telling the truth and I couldn't tell. But if you tell me beforehand, I'll know for sure if you're telling the truth.
Me: Oooh (chuckle and big smile) yea got it
Her: So you have to tell me what your doing before this summer
Me: Ok! Got it! See you around! (totally clueless)

I totally did not catch on and ask her for her number. I just figured it out later that night. I am so angry at myself. My question is, is it ok if I ask my friend for her number and just ask her out that way? I'm thinking along the lines of

Me: Hi is this [her name]?
Her: Yea
Me: Hi this is [my name]. I got your number from [friend's name] and I just have a quick question. Are you single?
Her: Yea (if no, then conversation ends here)
Me: Good, because if you had a boyfriend and I told you what I'm doing this summer, that would put his life in jeopardy too.

and then continue on the phone conversation as if i was going on a secret mission and had to meet her face to face to tell her what i was doing this summer to be safe

what do you guys think of this course of action? please respond asap
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mantis Toboggan

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Seems like a pretty lame way to get a girl's number, but if it's your only option, then pursue it and see what happens.

Getting this girl's number through sissy methods is better than not having it at all, right?
 

thechosenone2190

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yea i don't have any classes with her this semester. please keep the input coming. thanks mantis.
 

SandHawk

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Or, get your mate to set up a movie night where she will be too and score the number yourself. I've had friends hook me up with friends of theirs by arranging something where both of us would be at and let me run my game on them.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Chromeo

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If the girl is interested then its ok to get her number through someone else, she wont mind. Ive done it before successfully.
 

ARrocket

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SandHawk said:
Or, get your mate to set up a movie night where she will be too and score the number yourself. I've had friends hook me up with friends of theirs by arranging something where both of us would be at and let me run my game on them.
This is definitely your best option here. Don't go getting her number through your friend, that's just lame. But the fact that you have the mutual friend *should* make it easy for the two of you to end up in the same spot pretty soon, just talk to your bro! And then work your magic ;)
 

Websters dic

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I think that's a pretty stalker way of doing it.
Why don't you see her and just ask her when you think it's the right time.

OR

Tell your friend to set up a hang out event and you ask her there.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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thechosenone2190

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so i learned from my friend that she has a boyfriend as of about a month and a half ago, and i kind of knew this during my second interaction with her, which is why i didn't ask for her number.

oh well
 

Mantis Toboggan

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thechosenone2190 said:
so i learned from my friend that she has a boyfriend as of about a month and a half ago, and i kind of knew this during my second interaction with her, which is why i didn't ask for her number.

i just have a few questions that i would really like answers to
1. was i wrong to assume she was interested in me?
2. what on earth was she trying to do? was she just trying to be nice? it seemed so awkward when she told me i had to tell her my plans for the summer. she repeated it twice after i said ok, and after i said ok, there was an awkward pause before i said "cya"
3. is she just a tease?

yes, i KNOW i should next her, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea. i am over analyzing things. mixed signals are just so annoying. why? why do they do that? girls are like con artists selling you something that doesn't exist.
I'm not trying to say that I'm better than you, because we all learn at our own pace. But all these "signs of interest" your picking up on don't even register to me at this point. Awkward pause. Asking about your summer plans. These don't mean anything. I don't even see it as a tease.

You're probably still early in your learning, but one day you'll see that it's ridiculous to look for indicators of interest. You either get the girl's number, and a date, or she doesn't exist. The only "signs of interest" I see anymore is a date. I just assume that ALL women are interested in me...and if they're not, then I have the ability to make them interested. And if I'm wrong, then it's her loss.

This is why the DJ Bible is so important. You need to learn to be in a state of mind where you are already highly valuable...that way you already BELIEVE the girl is interested, and you treat her as such. Instead of trying to interpret "awkward pauses" and questions about your summer vacation.

4. what is the most important lesson i can get out this?
Read the DJ Bible.
 

nismo-4

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TL;DR!

Dude, don't get another party to do your dirty work. Do your own goddamn dirty work! Seriously, are you a man? If yes, grab your balls and make a damn move. The other party can tell you anything to throw you off, and even so, the other party has a better chance of winning because he had the balls to make a move!

You are guilty of having another party do your job. This is a high display of a beta male. The fine is lost balls and a trip to Stalker Hill, New Mexico. Then you will be sent to Fort Blueballs, Indiana.

A man goes after what he wants, he doesn't send another one to do that job. I want you to read my sig and apply it. You'll face some rejections still, but you'll know for sure if the girl was interested.

Oh, your princess in another castle. Go through the different castles and find her.

Case closed.
 
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