can guys and girls be just friends?

[iqqi]

Personally I know that they can.

And I think a man's personal belief on this says a whole lot about him. So what's up yall? Anyone on here agree with me, or do all of you have a "no girls allowed" sign on your circle of friends?

 

[Eternal]

If she has hot friends and she "LJBF" you, then why not?

 

[ReD MaFiA]

i have a few girl-friends. Couple of them are Bi so that makes chillin with them a LOT more fun for me. PLUS when girls see you with a hot female friend(they dont know its just a friend) it helps that whole challenge thing a lot.

 

[The Real Deal]

A real "friendship" could only happen if there is no possibility of sex, and since there always is, I'd have to say no. Women might like to think they have male friends, but I think they're (men) there in case there's an opportunity, and would jump on it in a second. A man could think he has female friends, yet would jump on an opportunity every chance they could.

 

[DJ_Dork]

If you need a new friend/female friend then YES.. it would be good to have a female friend. But if you already got several female friends..adding another just isn't worth it. Hang out with DUDES, You DUDE. Don't be pussified by all these women friends.. At most you should is 1:1 ratio of female to male friends.. 2:1 ratio is even better. I know some dude that is best friend's with a woman and he is pussified.. there is almost no chance of any banging action whatsoever because they've been friends for over 5 years.

 

[DJ_Dork]

also..

I agree with crazykid.. If this female wants to be your friend and she has several other nice looking girl friends.. DUDE.. go for it. If your female friend is hot, use her well with other girls.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by The Real Deal
A real "friendship" could only happen if there is no possibility of sex, and since there always is, I'd have to say no. Women might like to think they have male friends, but I think they're (men) there in case there's an opportunity, and would jump on it in a second. A man could think he has female friends, yet would jump on an opportunity every chance they could.

Well I have guy friends and have had a lot in the past too, but you do have a point... a lot of times they are not TRUE friends... they are potential hookups (at least in one of our minds), exes, or um... "friends with benefits".

But there have also been boyfriends of friends, friends of boyfriends, co-workers, and lots of stuff in between... I think that a lot of the time a guy might jump at an opportunity, but not always. Sometimes there are just boundaries or lines you don't cross (like a friend's ex, or an ex's friend). And sometimes you just aren't attracted to each other.

I mean by saying that women and men can't be actual friends without the potential of hooking up, is like saying that bi-sexuals can't be friends with ANYONE.

 

[squirrels]

If there is no sexual tension between you, then yes.

This is a BIG "if", however.

 

[The Real Deal]

Good point Sexy, but I don't consider, "boyfriends of friends, friends of boyfriends, co-workers, " as being true friends either, more so as an acquaintance. If you're a friend with a boyfriend of a friend, and they split up, do you remain friends with both? Or is it disassociation (word?) by separation?

"Sometimes there are just boundaries or lines you don't cross (like a friend's ex, or an ex's friend)"

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by squirrels
If there is no sexual tension between you, then yes.

This is a BIG "if", however.

hmmm. and i always thought the sexual tension between me and some of my male friends was fun.

am i sadistic?

 

[The Real Deal]

" am i sadistic? "

No, just a woman, opps, I meant , well, nevermind.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by The Real Deal
Good point Sexy, but I don't consider, "boyfriends of friends, friends of boyfriends, co-workers, " as being true friends either, more so as an acquaintance. If you're a friend with a boyfriend of a friend, and they split up, do you remain friends with both? Or is it disassociation (word?) by separation?

"Sometimes there are just boundaries or lines you don't cross (like a friend's ex, or an ex's friend)"

Yeah that is a really good question. I always ask people what they think of staying friends with a friend's ex. I think it's weak how your friend basically makes you get to know her boyfriend and then when they break up you're supposed to hate him too, even though he never did anything to you?

One of my friend's exes and I are friends but she doesn't know it (*Hey, are you reading this? Ha ha*) which I know sounds pretty ****ed up but me and her aren't really that close anyway. We are close enough where I'd never hook up with her ex, but not close enough where I feel like I shouldn't be able to be friends with him (although yeah, I'm kind of being a **** by not telling her). We became friends actually by talking about her (like, what should he do... etc).

Plus, we can always swap our hot friends back and forth... which is always a nice plus.

 

[Pecker]

Men and women can be friends, but usually not without some thought of sex on the man's part. I really can't be friends with an attractive woman without at least sometimes thinking about the possibility of sex.

If she's really not physically attractive and I would never so much as make out with her, then yeah I can be friends. In most other cases my girl friends are "maybes" that I keep floatin' around just in case. You never know.

 

[The Real Deal]

Pecker, so you're saying yes, but only if there is no attraction? If so, just how many of these ugs do you have as a friend, and why?

 

[iqqi]

I think you can be attracted to someone, and still just be friends with them. Hell, I find some of my girl friends attractive. Your friends SHOULD be attractive. I love how most of my friends are sexy and attractive and SMART too! Guys and girls.

I guess the key is if you value a person as a person then you will realize their friendship is more valuable than your attraction being, err, "satisfied".

 

[myfriendblu]

Nope. I let them do there emotional tamponing on guys like those who answered yes. Thanks guys. We need more of you around, cause i aint befriending these attention whor es. Case in point - the post below me.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

 

[The Real Deal]

BTW, ickie, can you explain?

"And I think a man's personal belief on this says a whole lot about him"

Or is this it?

" I guess the key is if you value a person as a person then you will realize their friendship is more valuable than your attraction being, err, "satisfied". "

If so, does that mean that a "man" can't value a person as a person without wanting to be " satisfied" ?


And, " I think you can be attracted to someone, and still just be friends with them. "

How? Do you mean "attracted", as in finding them attractive, or sexually "attracted" to them?

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by The Real Deal
BTW, ickie, can you explain?

sure!

"And I think a man's personal belief on this says a whole lot about him"

I think that if a man can be just friends with a woman, then he is secure with himself as a man and he is not controlled by his sexuality.

A man who cannot be friends with a woman is a man who is saying that just because of gender, a person cannot even be a friend. I think that is kind of sad. Having friends of the opposite sex is extemely enlightening, for one.

" I guess the key is if you value a person as a person then you will realize their friendship is more valuable than your attraction being, err, "satisfied".

If so, does that mean that a "man" can't value a person as a person without wanting to be " satisfied" ?

no. wanting and actually having are two different things. As are desire and reality.

And, " I think you can be attracted to someone, and still just be friends with them.

How? Do you mean "attracted", as in finding them attractive, or sexually "attracted" to them?

good question. i don't know if i am just different than the norm or just really in control of my sexuality, but it takes alot more than just attractiveness to make me want to have sex with them. therefor i meant finding someone attractive, even sexy. there are times (when i am going through very long dry spells) where i have sexually desired a male friend, but i never acted on it, and thank god.

 

[The Real Deal]

Thanks, good post BTW, it kind of touches on a misunderstanding I'm having now, I guess that's why I've actually taken intrest in it.