"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can girls forget that you were AFC?
- Thread starter teddy
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Starfvcks 64
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2013
- Messages
- 215
- Reaction score
- 18
What I do know is that they can IGNORE the fact that you were once an AFC, which is pretty much no different than forgetting.
Just like she can think you are the greatest guy in the whole world, and then next week think you are the most pathetic piece of **** to ever live, without you even doing anything.
See my profile quote:
"the angel in your arms in the morning is gonna be the devil in someone elses arms tonight."
There are many sides to that.
But like Eph said, why would you still care about some girl, especially if you AREN'T an AFC?
PS that is a rhetorical question. I know there are "good" reasons, like maybe you just moved back or whatever, and there are also "bad" reasons. It's just something to think about.
AFCs get hung up on girls.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
But mostly, you owe it to yourself to never put them back on your radar.
BraddH
Master Don Juan
If you were to go away for a while, and then come back, the person would see the change in you from when you left, but they would still remember you as that AFC, and only by showing them how you have changed would their idea of you change, if you do not show them your improvement, they still hold on to the idea of you as a AFC.
Over summer I saw some people I used to go to school with who I have not seen in 3/4 years, they recognised the physical change in me immediately, but still referred back to the AFCness of the old me. By the end of the conversation however they verbally expressed how much I had changed, because I had shown them through my words and actions that I am no longer a chump. In my absence from them I had changed, but when they saw me again they saw the old me, until I proved otherwise.
While going away for a period and coming back different is one aspect, when you are changing around people you see frequently the dynamic works a little differently. An example I can give is that last term I went to every single one of my lectures. I had resolved last year to take my education more seriously and had slowly been getting better attendance. The people that I met throughout last term saw me as a good student with a good workethic, however the people that have known me longer say it is 'out of character' for me and were surprised. They cannot see how I have changed because the change has been so gradual. Instead they still see me as the guy I used to be. The only way I will be able to win them around is by consistently being this 'new' person around them until they finally realise the change themselves. In time they will realise this change, however they will never forget how I used to be. When reminiscing it will always be mentioned how I used to be 'so lazy' or 'useless with girls', but because I have changed they will say 'and look at you now'.
I think this is a good thing though. I would want people to remember the old me, for it reflects well on me now.
And yes this does work for girls. A girl I lived with in first year is now interested in me. She used to tell me all the time about how nice I was, however now, she says that there is something different about me, I'm still nice in her head, but different; and she digs it.
Gunner
Tictac
Banned
You show back up all Don Juan and be consistent with it and they will let your prior persona stay in the past.
They are women. The only thing that counts is what right in front of them right now. Remember Dory from "Finding Nemo"? The active memory span of most chicks is about a week. You can over-write their hard drives with very little effort.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
gravityeyelids
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
- Messages
- 918
- Reaction score
- 192
I've done it. I was a huge AFC in high school. I got fed up, started reading up. Worked out every day for over a year, completely overhauled my body and got very muscular. Started buying better looking clothes to make me look/feel even better. Got better with girls. Changed my mindset completely as well as my body language/voice/posture/vibe. I've had girls from high school look at me like i'm completely a different person (because i am). Girls that i acted like a total chump to were attracted to me and i hooked up with a few.
The point here is that your changes need to be DRASTIC, and usually it's best if a few months if not YEARS have passed. Given, this won't work with every girl. But girls are very intuitive and can tell when you've changed.
However, i've found that once you improve yourself drastically to win over a girl you never had....you end up being not interested in her at all...
TheGambino
Master Don Juan
Providing there has been a suitable amount of NC between you, then I can't see why she wouldn't update her impression of you. I've heard a few girls say (down the lines of) "he's just so much different now !!!".
few statements have ever been this blatantly wrong.Tictac said:
if Ive learned anything from having several older sisters and nothing but aunts(mom only has sisters and dad is an only child)....its that women have an insane memory about certain things....that certain things being people and gossip.
are you nice? are you mean? how you acted? and of course the usual do you have kids and your friends and such and whos married to who and for how long. they also will remember that person A did B on date C and this was how they thought about that and how people D,E, and F also thought about that and what remarks they made. Ive got no physical proof of this being true but im convinced at least half of the female brain is devoted to remembering gossip because the rate and accuracy at which females can recall gossip puts googles lightning fast searches to utter shame.
the point here being that yes she will remember. the question is will you be able to overcome it? I dont see why not but i cant think of a compelling reason to bother with doing that because to do so you will not only have to convince that one girl but her entire social circle whom she has told about how AFC and Beta you are...the same social circle that will be quick to remind her of "but didnt you say he was AFC??"
on the off chance she forgets her social circle is akin to her searching google and she will then remember oh yea i put this on the cloud let me go read it again.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.