"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Can Anything Be Done??

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BreezyB84

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So I don't know if anything can be done with these but oh well let's see..I Have two girls Im attracted to and both know it but we always just been friends as I've never been their type (they don't date black guys).

In an odd series of events both have moved to my town.one I've gone out with once and we've stayed in touch..the other is like a extremely sexy best friend. both fresh out of relationships. the one I'm close to just had a kid.... somehow someway, both are coming over on Saturday and Sunday to hang out(not together).. I have seen both in a few years.

Is there anything that can be done here at all?? I know it's a delicate line but I don't mind finding out.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jetleg

Jetleg

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who cares about those 2 girls, one of them is a momma, like wtf dude. There are millions out there, im sure some of them would love date a black guy.
 
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dude99

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Desdinova said:
It's not that they don't date black guys, they just don't want to date YOU. Your skin colour is just an easy excuse for them to use. They are not attracted to you as a person.
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Your point is bang on but id also like too add to it.

If the only reason they won't date you is because you are black the you should say to them " i can't and won't be your friend either....because I am black."

Desdinova is right. They don't want to date you. Their excuse was lame. Turn their own words against them.
 
Roober

Roober

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The one your close to just had a kid and is single? If she didn't adopt, why would you want anything to do with that girl?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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dude99 said:
Your point is bang on but id also like too add to it.

If the only reason they won't date you is because you are black the you should say to them " i can't and won't be your friend either....because I am black."

Desdinova is right. They don't want to date you. Their excuse was lame. Turn their own words against them.
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You may as well. And this in itself will be ATTRACTIVE. Self-respect.
 
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SmooveMooves

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dude99 said:
If the only reason they won't date you is because you are black the you should say to them " i can't and won't be your friend either....because I am black."
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That's petty. Something a woman would say. People are allowed to have their preferences. As a black dude myself, I'm not into Indian chicks. Do I have Indian chick friends? Sure. Should they not be my friend anymore because I don't want to fûck them?

With that being said, if they are not sexually attractive to you no more investment on your part need be made. No going out of you way to contact, no gifts, no invitations to your home when you know they don't want to Fūck.

Im guessing you've been friends with these chicks for quite some time now. You can try to make a move but it would come off as incongruent and likely fail. The only play you might get is new single mom possibly looking for a beta provider. There are better chicks out there dude, if you were talking to them you wouldn't even be thinking about these two.
 
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dude99

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SmooveMooves said:
That's petty. Something a woman would say. People are allowed to have their preferences. As a black dude myself, I'm not into Indian chicks. Do I have Indian chick friends? Sure. Should they not be my friend anymore because I don't want to fûck them?

With that being said, if they are not sexually attractive to you no more investment on your part need be made. No going out of you way to contact, no gifts, no invitations to your home when you know they don't want to Fūck.

Im guessing you've been friends with these chicks for quite some time now. You can try to make a move but it would come off as incongruent and likely fail. The only play you might get is new single mom possibly looking for a beta provider. There are better chicks out there dude, if you were talking to them you wouldn't even be thinking about these two.
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Perhaps it didn't bother you the excuse they gave but i thought it was cold on the girls part to point out she wouldn't date him because of his skin colour.

I see it this way. Chosing to stay friends with them is only keeping him in their friendzone and making him an orbiter. Why waste time and energy being that?
 
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BreezyB84

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Let me point out a few things as I was trying to be brief when I wrote this post. I didn't actively seek to invite them over . they are old training partners from when I lived in the Olympic training center and we keep on touch when we went our separate ways. it was casual brought up they come by and they accepted.
As far as the race thing... I'm black...it happens...its not lame to Me at all as it is drilled into these girls by there parents and grandparents.it's just the world we live in unfortunately. it used to offend when i was younger but it is what it is now. I know it's a whole different topic but I find it normal.

I'm new to all this..so ANY opportunity I might have to practice or learn something,I'm going to take.
 
wifehunter

wifehunter

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BreezyB84 said:
So I don't know if anything can be done
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Your first few words are the problem. If you think you have to "do" something, you've lost already. Focus on being, instead of doing...

being awesome
being a catch
being scarce
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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sph21

sph21

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BreezyB84 said:
So I don't know if anything can be done with these but oh well let's see..I Have two girls Im attracted to and both know it but we always just been friends as I've never been their type (they don't date black guys).
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I will try to explain it as best as I can. English is not my native language.

Being her friend is the worst way of trying to get her to a romantic path. It will never work. That's not how attractions are built.

You might think that her attraction will develop more if she gets to know you more. This is the mindset of every nice guy. You need to leave this mindset. You're wasting your time, energy & risking your heart for a broken one.

As @Desdinova said, the skin color is just an excuse for them to say that they're not attracted to you. As David de Angelo said, Attraction is not a choice. It is not a choice for both of you. You can't choose to be attracted to someone else. If you're still trying to make them attracted to you by being friends, then you had signed up for desperation.

There is something you can do. Which is to stop being a nice guy & learn how these whole relationship dynamics work.
 
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