Can Anyone Help Me Help My Friend?

[Pimply_Pimp]

I have a friend who is 26 years old. He will be 27 in October.

He has no problem talking to girls and has a generally upbeat personality. By the way he acts, you would think he is getting constant sex from 4 different women or he's in a happy relationship with someone. However, this couldn't be further from the truth.

He is actually a virgin. Now, he doesn't tell people this. Obviously, you can figure out why - it would be an embarrassment if people knew. The funny thing is he talks to girls all the time with ease and doesn't get intimidated by them.
He plays it off so well that nobody would EVER think this guy was a virgin.

He lies to girls at his job telling them "yeah I'm seeing someone right now" and this drives them even more crazy for him. He never uses the pathetic old "why don't women like me?" approach that a lot of people do.

When I ask him why he never closes and gets a number he always says to me, "Dude I'm almost a 27 year old virgin. If I get into bed with a girl, it's going to be completely obvious I'm a virgin. Let's not sugarcoat it man. I can't just jump right in and please a girl with no experience whatsoever. I lost my chance to do the experimenting when I was young. I missed the boat. I will never find a girl with the sexual skills of a 5th grader, like me. It's why I can talk to girls so easily without a problem - because I just don't care anymore. There's no possible way I could EVER back up all the talking I do."

What would you guys suggest for him? I honestly don't know what to tell him. I see his point and the guy seems very happy with his life. Should I be concerned for him that he doesn't care? I do not think him lying to co-workers helps him out either. But, I guess it's better he lie than tell them "Oh yeah I don't get laid I'm a virgin. Wanna go out?"

Is this a VERY unique situation? Or is this common among men if they don't have sex and they reach a certain age?

 

[Pimply_Pimp]

I forgot to say that I have known my friend since college. We were randomly selected as roommates our freshman year and we just became friends through all of college.

He wasn't outgoing until senior year though. Lots of girls would really be into him because he would tell them "I have a girlfriend back home. I won't do anything." All the girls thought he was the sweetest guy ever. They all talked about how HE is "the guy every girl dreams about." They were all basically offering him sex every night and he wouldn't budge. He would always tell them flaws about themselves and the girls would just hang onto him forever asking him "why don't you like this?" or "why don't you like that?"

No joke, I had one person come up to me senior year and ask me, "Do you think your friend is God Himself in human form?"

Another thing he would do is tell girls they had lopsided heads. He would do this on 8-10 looking girls. He would tell me, "If you look up and down a girl and can't find a physical flaw to tease her about, tell her she has a lopsided head and they will go out of their minds because it's so unorthodox."

All the time, he's basically a wingman. I've seen him do this practically everywhere. He would see a knockout girl and if he checked her out and couldn't find a flaw, he would say "excuses me, look to your left." The girl does. Then he says "Now look to your right." The girl does. Then he says "Now look back at me." The girl does. Then he says "wow, your head looks a little lopsided there" And he'll look at me and say "What do you think Jim? Look lopsided to you?" And I say "definitely lopsided." And then I start a convo with them if they don't blow me off. The ones who blow me off aren't fun anyway. And he would just go back to what he was doing without missing a beat.

I've never seen girls look more confused and self-conscious.

 

[lynch1000s]

Tell him to get it done, tell the truth, and whatever happens, happens.

It is only doing what you fear, that allows you to conquer that fear.

There is really no other way around it (that I know of).

 

[lynch1000s]

All the time, he's basically a wingman. I've seen him do this practically everywhere. He would see a knockout girl and if he checked her out and couldn't find a flaw, he would say "excuses me, look to your left." The girl does. Then he says "Now look to your right." The girl does. Then he says "Now look back at me." The girl does. Then he says "wow, your head looks a little lopsided there" And he'll look at me and say "What do you think Jim? Look lopsided to you?" And I say "definitely lopsided." And then I start a convo with them if they don't blow me off. The ones who blow me off aren't fun anyway. And he would just go back to what he was doing without missing a beat.

That's the dumbest thing I heard in my life!

Tell him to quite being an idiot, and go for it, or else he is just an AFC (chump).

 

[L B]

Tell him that he has to start somewhere. Mistakes will be made and experiences will be gained. I'm afraid that he might have deeper issues that you don't know about. Also, you shouldn't waste your time helping someone who doesn't want your help. It always end up bad.

 

[CuriousGirl]

If girls love him then it won't matter to much, when he meets a girl he wants to have sex with all he needs to say is "I was saving it for someone special, so I don't really know what I'm doing" she'll melt and be understanding and teach him and he'll learn a lot.

tbh though, if he can understand the basics about what generally makes women tick then it shouldn't be as intimidating for him. At the end of the day the hardest thing is knowing how to read and respond to her body, which can be different in each woman. Guys can be good in bed without this, but that's what seperates them from those who are amazing in bed. I don't have many examples to speak from experience but once I got pretty lucky with one guy to be sure about this.

 

[runner83]

If girls love him then it won't matter to much, when he meets a girl he wants to have sex with all he needs to say is "I was saving it for someone special, so I don't really know what I'm doing" she'll melt and be understanding and teach him and he'll learn a lot.

Yeah right. Better not say that!

DJ Rule 101 guys...never take advice from women about what will attract them

Give away the fact that he's a 27yo virgin...? That'll kill any attraction by basically admitting that he isn't valuable enough for other girls to have slept with him.

But you are right that he should go in with some idea of what to do.

When I lost mine, the girl wasn't a virgin and yet she never even guessed that it was my first time. Needless to say, I wasn't stupid enough to say it was, and I had some idea what I was doing.

In hindsight, we just happened to have good sexual chemistry and she was a lot easier to get to come compared to some girls.

Don't say anything!!!! Just get it over and done with. Once he's got the first notch on the bedhead, the rest will come easier!

 

[kingsam]

dude tell your buddy that a hell of a lot of guys are not good in bed, they just bang and fall asleep, do it wihtout confidence...etc... not bothering to be a "good lover".

get your buddy to read some of those "be a great lover" books - there was a good one mentioned here a few days ago (cant remember what its called, maybe someting like "sex god method" )
just by being educated himself on what to do will make him better than at least HALF of the other men... and theres techniques for not finishing too early, easy peasy!

your boy has to take the plunge into the deep end ASAP, otherwise the pool will get deeper and deeper!!