Can anyone become a DJ (or change as a person)

[SayWhat]

Hi

I've discovered this site about 3,5 years ago. I read a lot, learned a lot and tried a lot. But in this time the only thing that happened to me is an affair with a 10 year older woman who just wanted a toyboy and where I didn't have to do anything.

Because of these events, or the lack thereof, I start to doubt if I have it in me. I think even the most beta and antisocial guy can only become a DJ if he has 'it' in him. I think this way because no matter what I do different, it doesn't seem to change anything in my life.

Since discovering this site I turned my life completely around. I have my dreamjob, I go to the gym 3 times a week, have a thrilling hobby, but I can't seem to get any girls. A year back I worked as a waiter in my spare time, I've gotten many compliments on my looks so I don't think that's the problem. I just can't pinpoint it as I tried so many different stuff. I even was fed up for a while and didn't care, this didn't even work. So I don't know anymore, I've always read anyone can become a DJ if he truly goes for it, but no matter what I try, it doesn't change a thing.

 

[stevo]

Can anyone become a DJ? Yes.
Will everyone become a DJ? No.

Does everyone have the potential to be rich? Yes
Would everyone be rich? No

You gotta understand being a DJ means doing what's best for you, everytime. Being the man, you always want to be.

 

[Yewki]

... but I can't seem to get any girls.

What exactly have you done to try to get girls?

Because you can have the most awesome life on paper: a great job, an amazing physique, a large house, etc but girls are not just going to magically show up at your door step. You have to put yourself out there and socialize.

 

[Serenity]

Based on your previous posts I know one thing you haven't tried or changed yet. You haven't changed your way of thinking and feeling. I remember a lot about how you thought in your past posts, it haven't developed at all. You're completely stuck on your inner game, that's what has to change. Real changes starts from the inside giving effects outside. I sense you're still in the weak state that something has to happen outside for anything to change inside.

Can anyone change as a person? Yes absolutely!!! However few are going to push your changes besides yourself, we all know it's a bad idea to change someone else. Anyone can change themselves, if you can't then nobody can and you're essentially fvcked in life.

The one single thing we as humans can have complete control and authority over is ourselves. If you're in a sh!tty situation you're the single most important person who will contribute to getting out of it.

Btw, think as if that toyboy affair thing never happened, reset yourself back to that point. Even better, reset yourself to a point before things went wrong and work on doing it right this time around.

 

[Dingo]

I say yes....

Anyone of us can change or reinvent oneself.

When I went away to college I decided to stop being that shy guy afraid of women/dating and become more assertive, more bold with the women.... Just like that... Flipped a switch. Nothing really changed in me but my attitude. I'm talking almost from one day to another.

It's all in your head.... You can change.... Just flip that switch....

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I say yes....

Anyone of us can change or reinvent oneself.

When I went away to college I decided to stop being that shy guy afraid of women/dating and become more assertive, more bold with the women.... Just like that... Flipped a switch. Nothing really changed in me but my attitude. I'm talking almost from one day to another.

It's all in your head.... You can change.... Just flip that switch....

"How do I flip the switch?"...

You flip the switch by DOING.

 

[Asmodeus]

"But in this time the only thing that happened to me is an affair with a 10 year older woman who just wanted a toyboy and where I didn't have to do anything."
^Nothing wrong with that... I kind of like older women, cougars... A lot of them divorced, a bit jaded from love and not into jumping straight into a relationship. They are not always as cute as the younger women, but they certainly know what they want and are rarely timid, very little inhibitions.
If you know what you are looking for you can tell... No wedding ring, trying hard to look younger with makeup ect, and often frequent certain spots and bars.

 

[RangerMIke]

I know men that have been so emotionally damaged by women that they are incapable of self actualization and the thought that they can not and should not get validation from women is so beyond their comprehension you would have a better chance of converting the Pope to Islam.

If you don't love yourself, and constantly seek external validation... you CAN NOT be a DJ. You have to believe all women are the same and treat them the same.... only look to yourself for self improvement, do this and anything is possible.

This is hard to do when you have been conditioned by society to be a 'good boy' and sacrifice yourself on the alter of women. If you think women are the prize then you can't be.

 

[SayWhat]

Yeah I can see the fact my inner game is way off. I tend to think about everything. I think about what I just said, how I said it and what was wrong with the way I said it and how I should have said it. In the end I conclude I said it like a pathetic beta male.

I think about how I walk and how I stand, basically afterwards I think I could have stood like this and that now I just looked like a loser.

This is the same with everything, from how I sit in my car to how I sit behind my laptop typing this, to how I wipe my nose, to how I hold my phone,...

It's difficult, I want to love myself, but every action I do is basically coming down to the fact it looked weird and it could and should have been better. Look there is no denying this, I know that I look 'weird' when standing somewhere, probably because I just overthink it I subconsciously show it through my body language. But afterwards I know and it's just a vicious circle.

 

[Yewki]

Yeah I can see the fact my inner game is way off. I tend to think about everything. I think about what I just said, how I said it and what was wrong with the way I said it and how I should have said it. In the end I conclude I said it like a pathetic beta male.

I think about how I walk and how I stand, basically afterwards I think I could have stood like this and that now I just looked like a loser.

This is the same with everything, from how I sit in my car to how I sit behind my laptop typing this.

It's difficult, I want to love myself, but every action I do is basically coming down to the fact it looked weird and it could and should have been better. Look there is no denying this, I know that I look 'weird' when standing somewhere, probably because I just overthink it I subconsciously show it through my body language. But afterwards I know and it's just a vicious circle.

Serious question, have you considered that maybe you fall somewhere on the autistic spectrum and that's why it's difficult for you?

 

[SayWhat]

Serious question, have you considered that maybe you fall somewhere on the autistic spectrum and that's why it's difficult for you?

No I don't think so, I checked the symptoms but couldn't find any correlation. I had a normal youth besides my father dying at the age of 12.

I think it all started at the age of 21 when my ex broke me.

 

[Yewki]

you need to understand that when you deal with other people that you're playing with Monopoly money. You have little to nothing to lose.

Great post overall but I like what you said here in particular