Can any of you guys approach women when your in a bad mood?

[red sky30]

This is getting rediculus.

When i'm in a good mood, eye contact is a breeze, I can put myself in pretty much any social situation, and talking to women (although i admit i need work on getting number closes) is actually pretty easy and most importantly, natural.

Then out of nowhere my bad mood hits.

I have vauge reasons why this happens but it seriously sucks ass. I just want to be alone, and i get heightened anxiety. Eye contact feels extremely unnatural with ANYONE, and god damnit, you better believe i'm avoiding that cute chick sitting all by herself, waiting for my presense to grace her.

Everything turns from a positive to a negative light. Its f'in wierd! I think its next to impossible to try to talk to anyone i find attractive (or anyone for that matter) when in one of these moods.

Can anyone actually approach women if your graced by these weird depressive anxiety moods? I know this isn't typical don juan forum stuff, but i want to see if anyone out there can actually BREAK through bad anxious moods and talk to women, or if your just stuck in them until they mysteriously leave you.

 

[Zeus]

I must say that i'am just like you man. When i'am in a good mood i can talk to anyone. When i'am in a bad.. Its like a whole another world.

How can i break free ?

 

[THA REALNESS]

It´s like taking a **** talking to someone lets it all the bad feelings out and you feel better.


I actually perfer to talk to girls when i´m pissed off about something than to a guy cuz all they´ll do is try to cheer you up whitch pisses me off even more .While a girl is more in touch with stuff like that and actually listens.

 

[divega]

I recall that there was a tip/article on this site about anchoring. Basically it discusses attaching a statement and action to a positive feeling, so that everytime you say the statement and do the action, you'll recall the positive feeling.

So basically you can train yourself to get yourself in a good mood by a mantra or something.

It's in the articles archive somewhere.

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. What does that tell you? Yes stay in a good mood and you get laid. Bad mood means no p*ussy.

2. Read the States of Bein'ness post. You need to stay in your center.

 

[divega]

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/phenomenal.htm

There ya go. The article I was talking about.

 

[TTAG]

anyone heard of bi-polar?

hey dude sounds like you are bi-polar, just cos you said that sometimes you get depressed and anxious, and other times your all good. maybe speak with a Doc?

 

[divega]

I doubt he is bipolar. What he is going through is what a lot of us go through. In attempts to become what he wants to become, he feels motivated and then sometimes unmotivated. Just like in practicing any new activity. He's under the pressure of trying to improve himself, and that pressure can get be big sometimes, small othertimes.

Bipolar disorder is far more extreme than what he probably is experiencing. He'd be to a point where he couldn't function in society.

So anyways, redsky, I know exactly what you're going through, and I'm still dealing with it, but guess what, it's getting easier and easier each day. Now that you're aware of it you can do something about it.

Like, when you're in one of those bad moods, are you aware of it? Are you like "Damn. I'm in one of those moods again" or are you aware of it after the fact, like "hmm yesterday I was in a bad mood"
If you're aware of it after the fact, try to put your mind in a state of readiness. Just try and be aware of your moods.

In any case, if you're aware of it at the time, then you can practice trying to break out of it. You may feel unmotivated to do it at the time, but the more you try, the stronger you will get. Ok, here's an idea for you.
Do you have a favorite stand up comedian? If not let me recommend one for you. Dane Cook. Dane is funny and also a lady killer as well. So go to his site www.danecook.com, and watch some of his videos. The dude is charasmatic as hell. After watching one of his acts awhile back, I was put into a mood of high confidence for a long time. And everytime I think about that time, my mood improves.

Anyways, whenever you're in one of those moods, just think of your fave comedian's acts. You'll start to feel the way you did while watching them and you'll be in a more jovial mood.

 

[red sky30]

Thanks alot for the replies, especially you divega.

Yes i do know i'm in the bad mood, because all of the sudden i notice my thoughts getting A LOT more negative, and I get so anxious eye contact/ conversation with ANYONE feels awkward. When if i was in the mood i was in the day before, everything would be easy as pie. It just comes and goes.

What i've noticed is that I absolutly ----DIE---- in a routine with no spontinaity. Which unfortunatly, is what society pressures you to be in constantly. Your classes, your job, your activities, all bunched up in a nice schedule of repitition. When i get caught in this, what makes me, ME, vanishes, and i get all anxious.

Now for example, on a whim last weekend (well after a very benificial LSD trip, and thinking about it sober) i said F*uck it, and drove down to Georgia, by myslef, for just a weekend (i live in new hampshire) to see a bluegrass festivle. I cannot describe to you how meaningful this experience was to me. And when i got back to college, life was beyond words AMAZING. Then about 3 days after I got back, i could see the walls closing in on me.

The college routine was starting up again. And like clockwork I got anxious again


Its really wierd, with all this talk about "alpha males, beta males" etc. etc. What happens when you don't belong in a group at all? When your just a DRIFTER, a NOMAD, constantly moving from group to group. That would be me.


So i've retreated to being by myslef and just playing the guitar to ride this one out, but i have a feeling, only a crazy spontanious thing can get me back on my feet again.

I'm glad time has helped you out Divega. I'm curious, does any of what i said about being a NOMAD, and never happy in a routine relate to any of you out there?


The few and proud.

Peace everyone

 

[Imbrondir]

I remember reading a post from 'Juggler' (ASF celebrety), where he likes to approach with an emotion. Sortof like you are sad for some reason.... then you let her gradually cheer you up.

Never done this myself, and I'm unsure of the details, but it sounds like an excellent way of approaching while in a bad mood. If you're very interested, you could ask this question in the ASF forums (www.fastseduction.com) or get input on some of the people on this forum, who has been in juggler's workshop.

....

That being said, like the other guys posted, being in a bad mood is bad for you

 

[A1SteakSauce]

well driving to georgia from NH by yourself for no reason is a good example of manic activity. then "feeling the walls close in" is a good description of depression.

but doctors won't help you much. instead, check your levels of toxic metals and improve your nutrition. it's cheap and easy to detoxify and take good supplements. and same for cutting sugar. this will put you in much better moods and allow you to meet a lot more people which further alleviates bipolar problems (isolating yourself in fact makes them much worse). this has worked for me, and though i never saw a doctor, i have definite bipolar tendencies which have improved when i do this (and get worse when i don't). this is the kind of sh1t you have to do for yourself bfore you can get with women (unless you want to attract the crazy ones, which you *really* do not)

A1