"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Can any "nice" guys relate to this?

DJHoolahoop

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
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There's a difference between being nice, and sacrificing YOUR OWN happiness in order to make others happy. Yet many of us, at least I do, will go out of our way to be nice to those around us in order to get what a lot of us never do, have a person who genuinely cares. What ends up happening is you get used and counted on to be there for when THEY need you but when it comes to something YOU want, THEY'RE conveniently not there or when YOU want to hang out and do something they're too busy for you.

What is going ON here? Why do these people you help and be nice to, treat you like you don't exist? That if you dropped off the face of the planet, chances are that they'd only wonder where you are when THEY needed something. The problem with this is that they look at you as someone they go to for help and advice as opposed to someone they will hang out with on a regular basis. So what's the way out from this? Start living YOUR life for you and not for others, you can be nice but not at the expense of yourself.

How selfish are you REALLY being by wanting to live YOUR life? By wanting to create YOUR happiness by buying those things YOU want and doing what YOU want instead of what OTHERS want you to? Seriously, how selfish are you REALLY BEING by living YOUR life? You're on this planet like the rest of us are and in NO way should you be so grateful of that privilage that you sacrifice everything you are for the sake of everyone else. I wonder how people can sit there and say you are being selfish for living your life the way you want to instead of how THEY THINK you SHOULD be living it.

Stop living your life for everyone else, trying to appeal to them and appeal to yourself and your life. If you give people the opportunity to take advantage of you, they WILL take advantage of you.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DJnoob

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
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I would only do this for my family. To put it this way, If i were in hell, Hell would be like heaven to me knowing my family and loved ones are in a happy place
 
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