can a ltr maintain its honeymoon stage forever?

[bukowski_merit]

prediscussion background: i havent been in an exclusive ltr in over 3 years. the longest one i was in was 4 years and was from 19-23. im just curious because i see a lot of post on here about intimacy and sparks dieing. i also have a couple friends who i consider naturals who have wives and gf's for 4+ years, and i know they have very nonsexual relationships.

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the typical post on here goes something like: "my gf and me were together for the first 6 months, and we couldn't take our hands off each other. then we started having less sex. she started complining when i touched her in a sexual way".... blah blah if you've been here for over a year - i'd imagine you've read similar at least 100 times!

so, who's been in a ltr for years and is still able to have sex as much as they want? who's able to touch their woman the car ride home anywhere, any way, and any time they want? whos been able to prolong the "honeymoon stage" past the 6-10 months its biologically supposed to last?

speak up... someday i plan to drop the multiple women thing, and need some hope that exclusiveness wont drive me insane!

 

[prairiedog24]

Um... many couples get it on frequently right up to their 50th. (EWWW!)

If you're looking for serious LTR advice pick up something like this:

http://www.amazon.com/Red-Hot-Monog...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247618587&sr=8-1

It's geared towards christians and marriages obviously, but the principles should apply for any committed LTR. I haven't actually read this book. But once when I was driving through the ozark mountains a DJ had the authors on talking about it and I liked what they said. There was no music on except country, so I heard the entire program. Man I hate country music. lol

 

[slaog]

If you can make them feel good it should last. I reckon most relationships die out because most guys are AFC's. Women soon realise that although the guy might have money and looks etc he cannot make her feel great. When that happens women are not as keen to have sex with their man.


There are couples who still make each other feel great even after a long time togethar.

 

[Allurre]

Honeymoon phases can't always last. It's also hard to repeat it.

However, it can be done but you need to learn the principles of scarcity, which accounts for the 'honeymoon' vibe.

The best thing to do to keep things sparkly is by imagining your relationship as a nonstop roller coaster ride. How would you visualize it? Obviously, you can't always be at a high. There's gotta be ongoing climaxing points, and times where things just feel comfortably stable.

 

[handle]

I'm not sure if honeymoon is over for me but me and my girlfriend been having sex more frequently and we're at the 1 year mark. I'm sure a decline is normal but we haven't hit it yet.

 

[Commandante]

I reckon most relationships die out because most guys are AFC's.

The point is that men don´t really have any other choice but getting an AFC. At the beginning of the relationship is relative easy being the alpha male and staying the alpha male. Why? Because you are living separated and you as a man can say "You know what? From now on I´m shagging an other b!tch. Get your clothes out of my wardrobe!". There aren´t any costs - economists would say any transaction costs. But with the time you move together, you buy things like furniture and car together, you marry and/or get children. And there is alwas a point where you can´t say "Move out of my life b!tch" any more. Moving out, separating your lifes (house, car, children, etc.) can be really hard - you have high transaction cost. That´s why at one point the most of the men say "Fukk, I don´t want to fight again. You know what? Let do it your way! You are right, honey!". And in this moment they are lost for ever. We have a beta male and an alpha female. End of the story. And if a man tries to act like an alpha male, which means cheating on his wife, he can loose everything thanks to the law system.

I´m living in Germany, and here is enough to have a child to be fukked up. You have to pay a lot of money 20+ years long if you live separated. And for a woman is really simple to get a child - even without asking the man. She only has to "forget" to take the pills one or two days. And then she gets the power in the relationship.

The funny thing is that women always come with this "but the pills are only 99.8% safe" BS. Yeah, because 0.2% of women "forget" to take it, but they don´t admit.

 

[Lion]

the typical post on here goes something like: "my gf and me were together for the first 6 months, and we couldn't take our hands off each other. then we started having less sex. she started complining when i touched her in a sexual way".... blah blah if you've been here for over a year - i'd imagine you've read similar at least 100 times!

Remember that a lot of posts on here are from people who have broken up/seeking advice/want to better themselves. Why would you come here if everything was hokey cokey? There is a greater % of people who you do not hear about having lasting LTRs and strong relationships.

I know of a few couples who have been together for 3+ years, some even 6-8 years.

 

[sodbuster]

Watching the same movie for the next 4 years? I don't care how good a movie it is,there comes a point when YOU don't want to watch it too many times a week. Of course sex slows down. Then have kids-get woken up at 3 in the morning for 3 years in a row for feedings/whatever. "honey if I wasn't so tired,I'd bone the he11 yout of you" "I know you would dear" [Oral sex for married people.]

There have been studies about the hormonal changes we go through in marriage linking it to decreased sex drive etc.

 

[slaog]

The point is that men don´t really have any other choice but getting an AFC. At the beginning of the relationship is relative easy being the alpha male and staying the alpha male. Why? Because you are living separated and you as a man can say "You know what? From now on I´m shagging an other b!tch. Get your clothes out of my wardrobe!". There aren´t any costs - economists would say any transaction costs. But with the time you move together, you buy things like furniture and car together, you marry and/or get children. And there is alwas a point where you can´t say "Move out of my life b!tch" any more. Moving out, separating your lifes (house, car, children, etc.) can be really hard - you have high transaction cost. That´s why at one point the most of the men say "Fukk, I don´t want to fight again. You know what? Let do it your way! You are right, honey!". And in this moment they are lost for ever. We have a beta male and an alpha female. End of the story. And if a man tries to act like an alpha male, which means cheating on his wife, he can loose everything thanks to the law system.

I´m living in Germany, and here is enough to have a child to be fukked up. You have to pay a lot of money 20+ years long if you live separated. And for a woman is really simple to get a child - even without asking the man. She only has to "forget" to take the pills one or two days. And then she gets the power in the relationship.

The funny thing is that women always come with this "but the pills are only 99.8% safe" BS. Yeah, because 0.2% of women "forget" to take it, but they don´t admit.

- Choose a quality woman. This is the most important thing anyone can do. Choose a woman who adds to your life.
- If the woman changes then you leave her although people rearly change that much.
- If you're going to have sex you need to know theres a chance of a woman getting pregnant and the law favours women.
- Even if the worst things possible happened you never have to become AFC for any woman.