"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can a loner get a girl?

EFFfear

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What's going on guys?

Well, let's just get it out of the way - I am a loner. Haven't always been, but that's how it is now. All I can do is focus on the future, and improve myself, which is why I signed up to this site.

I met the most perfect girl a few weeks ago, and I wanted to ask her out so badly. That didn't happen though, not because I'm scared of rejection, but because I have no friends.

So, do you think a guy like me should even ask out a girl, or is it pointless?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

KontrollerX

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You'll never know what she'll say until you try.

So ask her out already but avoid putting her on a pedastal.

After all like you and me she is only human.
 

Interceptor

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Rejection is Better thn Regret.
If you want to live a life of bitterness,and guilt, don't ask her out. But if you want to die in peace, knowing that you found out for SURE...then ask her out.

Since you postye nothing of your interaction here about her, we don;t know how to help you interact with her.
You do know that you need to build some comfort, rapport, and trust with her, don't you?
You know that you must be confident, sexual, and lead her in your interactions, rioght?
You know how to interact with her, with body language, eye contact, kino, and conversation too, correct?
And you know that you have a ghigher chance of getting her number and going out with her, if you apply all these things to your interactions with her, right?
 

Street_Fighter

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in your case it sounds hopeless :D
just kidding.The point that you're a loner has little or nothing to do with it,you -lack- the ability to go after the girl brazenly.

Thats where the real issue is..it has little or nothing to do with having a dozen friends or 2 really close ones,because in the end it's always going to be YOU approaching,YOU doing all the right things and it's between YOU and HER.

Don't just ask her out..whisk her off her feet and sweep her away
(she'll thank you for it! ) :cheer:


As in the 'how'? dude,do we have to walk you through all the steps ?lol
:crackup:
 

Cage

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Interceptor said:
Rejection is Better thn Regret.
Well, with me, it's always been the opposite. I've felt like **** with rejection for a week (maybe more) and regret goes away for me after like... a day.

Anyway, most girls don't like loners unless she's a loner herself. Women see that as weird. I mean, I hate to admit it, but it is kind of weird to not have any friends and hangout with yourself. I am a loner at heart and I still struggle with it. I started to change because you need to meet people to get ahead and network.

Do you have friends EFFfear or what? Or do you have friends and like to be by yourself most of the time?

I say ask her out. Her accepting won't have anything to do with being a loner. The problem is whether she'll want to stick around after she finds out.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ElStud

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A loner with social skills and confidence, yes. Otherwise probably not.
 

Street_Fighter

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Cage said:
Well, with me, it's always been the opposite. I've felt like **** with rejection for a week (maybe more) and regret goes away for me after like... a day.

Anyway, most girls don't like loners unless she's a loner herself. Women see that as weird. I mean, I hate to admit it, but it is kind of weird to not have any friends and hangout with yourself. I am a loner at heart and I still struggle with it. I started to change because you need to meet people to get ahead and network.

Do you have friends EFFfear or what? Or do you have friends and like to be by yourself most of the time?

I say ask her out. Her accepting won't have anything to do with being a loner. The problem is whether she'll want to stick around after she finds out.
she'll leave because you're an idiot or a loser :D..but having 2 close friends or 2000 so so friends really makes no difference if you know how to psuh the right buttons and make her hot for you :up:

You can be the life of the party and mr.popular but if you're tounge tied around girls with your tip between your legs then good luck to ya!

It all comes down to communicating your interests the correct way and in a way that will help you progress to where you want things to go ultimatly ;)
loner/socialite..if you got game then you got game,simple as that :up:

calling yourself a loner in the tone with limiting factor will only hurt your progress...
 

Cage

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Street_Fighter said:
she'll leave because you're an idiot or a loser
Are referring to me?

And how many loners do you know with high self-confidence and game? I'm not saying a person like that doesn't exist, but I've never met one. Most of the loners I know my age are very, very shy and couldn't spit game to save their lives. EFF may be the total opposite, but loner = someone with issues when most people think about it.
 

Street_Fighter

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Cage said:
Are referring to me?

And how many loners do you know with high self-confidence and game? I'm not saying a person like that doesn't exist, but I've never met one.
I am saying that if she leaves it's because the guy is a loser or an idiot and has nothing to do with them being a loner nor socialite.

You also most likely would'nt meet any other loner djs because they most likely want nothing to do with you in the first place :D

Besides,why measure your success or failure with someone elses?
it's merely a waste of time...:cool:

You seem to be a loner not out of choice but out of mere nessessity..
ask yourself this,if you knew alot of people..would you still rather be alone or the company of others? if you would rather be alone regardless of friends or not,without any lacks or flaws that you are insecure about that keep you alone- then you are a true loner,not just a loner by 'default'.

makes sense? :rolleyes:


Generalizing all loners as social misfits and outcasts makes as much sense as calling all socialites self-absorbed attention VVhores and ego driven...
both are clearly over-generalizations but if you choose to see it that way then by all means by my guest.No sweat of my back lol :whistle:
 

Street_Fighter

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Cage said:
Are referring to me?

And how many loners do you know with high self-confidence and game? I'm not saying a person like that doesn't exist, but I've never met one. Most of the loners I know my age are very, very shy and couldn't spit game to save their lives. EFF may be the total opposite, but loner = someone with issues when most people think about it.
you know the old saying,you're only as good as the company you keep.
It sounds like the loners you know your age are loners out of nessessity and default,I bet that if they were to have 100s of friends they'd be singing a different tune very quickly.

As far as what people think about loners..big deal,it can either crush you and defeat you or it can be like 'meh,who cares? no sweat off my back' lol :cool:

Looks like you already chose ...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Cage

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I said most people think of loners as someone with issues. I never said, I did. I just said it's kind of weird. Weird isn't necessarily a terrible thing. Although, some may see it like that.

Like I said before, I used to be a loner, but I realized I could never get anywhere being like that. Sure, I was happy, but I was stuck in the same place. Meeting people and eventually opening up got me to several levels of success I would've never gotten close to before.

You seem to be a loner not out of choice but out of mere nessessity..
ask yourself this,if you knew alot of people..would you still rather be alone or the company of others? if you would rather be alone regardless of friends or not,without any lacks or flaws that you are insecure about that keep you alone- then you are a true loner,not just a loner by 'default'.

makes sense?
My original point was that SHE may not see it in a good way. I know several women who have all x'd guys off because he didn't like to go out or had that many friends. He may get the girl, but again, from MY experience, not having friends isn't seen in a positive light.

Understand?
 

Street_Fighter

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Cage said:
I said most people think of loners as someone with issues. I never said, I did. I just said it's kind of weird. Weird isn't necessarily a terrible thing. Although, some may see it like that.

Like I said before, I used to be a loner, but I realized I could never get anywhere being like that. Sure, I was happy, but I was stuck in the same place. Meeting people and eventually opening up got me to several levels of success I would've never gotten close to before.



My original point was that SHE may not see it in a good way. I know several women who have all x'd guys off because he didn't like to go out or had that many friends. He may get the girl, but again, from MY experience, not having friends isn't seen in a positive light.

Understand?
good for you :rolleyes:
 

IWillReturnsoon

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Nothing wrong with being a loner type...actually it might make u seem more attractive(If u have the confidence to go with it of course) that shows that u don't need friends to enjoy yourself. Girls don't care that much if ur with anybody...as long as ur not a wallflower...they're more concerned about what they're doing.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Cage

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DjDan said:
That's how I live my life. It might not be the best way, its my way.
No problem. I hope you didn't take offense to my posts, because I didn't mean anything derogatory.
 

penkitten

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flash back : dylan 90210 loner got all the girls.
 

Street_Fighter

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penkitten said:
flash back : dylan 90210 loner got all the girls.
I think 90% of it was attributed to his wrinkly upper forehead and those dashingly dreamy side burns :p

he was a pimp though...I'll give him that :cool:
 

penkitten

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Street_Fighter said:
I think 90% of it was attributed to his wrinkly upper forehead and those dashingly dreamy side burns :p

he was a pimp though...I'll give him that :cool:
i thought it was his "im all alone in this world "attitude
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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