Can a DJ ever backslide into a AFC?

[joshlavarn2009]

OK, a DJ lives his life for himself, and girls are not the point of his existence. Plus a DJ will not take sh|t from girls or people in general ever again, where an AFC bends over backwards to please women.

Have any DJ's ever fell back into the AFC lifestyle, or once you have "seen the light" with the DJ Bible, you just can't go back to being an AFC again?

Just curious if the DJ change is for the most part permanent.

 

[captain underpants]

i heard somewhere 20 % of djs or pua's or something go back to being afc's

 

[KontrollerX]

Being an AFC or being a DJ is a state of mind.

Whatever state of mind you feed into the most each day is what you become that day.

The reason many PUA's/DJ's what have you slip back into the AFC mindset is because AFC is the state of mind that they know the most and have lived as the longest.

Its far more internalized in them as a default position than that of DJ but it doesn't mean they are destined to be an AFC it just means they have to work harder to stay in the newer DJ/PUA mindsets and be mindful of their thoughts so they don't end up slipping completely back into an AFC mentality that lasts an undesireably long amount of time slowing their progress as successful human beings.

 

[Captain]

Nearly all DJs will turn back into an AFC when they get married, more than half return to being an AFC when they "fall in love", or have been in an exclusive relationship for a couple of years, more than half turn back into an AFC when they move in with a woman they are in a long term relationship with.

Why?

Because they have nearly zero experience with long term, exclusive relationships. They blend back into the crowd, and act like a nice guy, because that is what is expected in long term, exclusive relationships.

 

[slaog]

When you're in the process of self development you'll find it's like 2 steps forward 1 step back. I've seen this myself. The road isn't a smooth road. Everything will be good sometimes and bad other times. You'll only notice improvments over time when you'll deal with different experiances in a better way then before.


Some guys slip back because they find a girl and stop improving. Their goal wasn't to improve to begin with it was to find a girl. When you're not improving you're going backwards and the girls start noticing this and suddenly the guys realise they've blown it by slipping back into their old AFC ways. It's usually too late to save relationships.

Nearly all DJs will turn back into an AFC when they get married, more than half return to being an AFC when they "fall in love", or have been in an exclusive relationship for a couple of years, more than half turn back into an AFC when they move in with a woman they are in a long term relationship with.

Why?

Because they have nearly zero experience with long term, exclusive relationships. They blend back into the crowd, and act like a nice guy, because that is what is expected in long term, exclusive relationships.

The very nature of being a DJ, or player, or pick up artist is not compatible with long term, exclusive relationships.

You don't have to turn AFC again once you're in a relationship. The guys who do that are the guys who end up getting dumped.


Its important to keep improving when in relationships.

 

[Kevin Feng]

It's easy to be AFc in any situation out there.

Take Neil Strauss as an example, he was extremely AFC back in his hollywood days. He was a multi millionaire at the time, a famous writer, and had just about every advantage in the world, yet he didn't get laid.

So I'm sure if Neil could slip back into it, even a DJ can.

I know plenty of promoters out there that have issues with women. Just because you're good at networking and meeting people, does NOT mean you are good with women by any standard.

Be sure to open sets, escalate and write field reports, that should keep you AFC free.

-Kevin

 

[MillenniumMike]

On the positive side it is easy to snap out of being AFC if you already are in the pick up community, you can be a DJ and slip into AFC but its easier to fix than an AFC who has always been an AFC.

 

[Captain]

You don't have to turn AFC again once you're in a relationship. The guys who do that are the guys who end up getting dumped.

Its important to keep improving when in relationships.

I wasn't saying you should turn AFC in relationships, I saying that most men do turn AFC, despite it being the absolute worst thing to do. Men in relationships often think that now they have the woman, they can let their game slide. You can't.

For example, they compromise with the frequency of sex, they compromise over other things, they move in together, and the relationship becomes increasingly domestic rather than sexual. There was a thread here not too long ago about a guy who moved in with a girlfriend and no longer gets sex. That is exactly what I'm getting at.

Marriage is the worst for this. Remember, most men are chumps, and most men end up getting married. Are they getting everything they want out of the marriage? No way. Men are fed this crap that "relationships are about compromise", and they end up appeasing their wives.

Some guys slip back because they find a girl and stop improving. Their goal wasn't to improve to begin with it was to find a girl. When you're not improving you're going backwards and the girls start noticing this and suddenly the guys realise they've blown it by slipping back into their old AFC ways. It's usually too late to save relationships.

^ This above is totally correct.

The very nature of being a DJ, or player, or pick up artist is not compatible with long term, exclusive relationships.

When I wrote this, I think I may have confused a few people. I meant that being a DJ or whatever encourages people to have multiple, non-exclusive relationships.

Society expects men to act as "nice guys". We know this does not get women. The mothers of men teach their sons this. Some of them realise that this is not the way to get women. They become a DJ, and date, and have fun. But then they get in an exclusive LTR, or get married. Society expects them to be a nice guy and a supplicating, appeasing, chump to their girlfriend/wife. We know this does not keep women. They think they don't need to be a DJ to keep her anymore. So very wrong they are.

You can and should be a DJ in any relationship, exclusive or otherwise. You don't change what works. If you don't, and act AFC in the relationship, you'll be in for a miserable time, you'll get cheated on, and ditched.

So yes, DJs can and do slide back into AFCs, usually in long term, exclusive relationships, because they get complacent. You should always be a DJ, no matter what.