can a bad 1st kiss ruin everything or can u recover?

[drift king]

i kissed that girl finally, twice. then she tells me it was a mistake and that we won't be together.

it's like as if all this time she's just been stringing me along keeping the attention and now she feels bad cos she feels i'll walk away and not talk to her anymore (which i'll do) and everything was fine before the kiss. was the kiss the problem??

she kept saying it was a mistake, this rejection just f's me up. is it buyers remorse?

i wonder how long she expected me to keep up this chirade of giving her attention without getting what i want.

how should i have behaved after she dropped this bombshell? i thought the kiss went well, maybe she just didnt feel it. i kept pressing her asking her why she didn't think we'd be together and it was a mistake. she wouldn't even be decent enough to give me a reason.

should i have just sat back and been like: 'ok fine.' unreactive to it?

what should i have done?

 

[Commandante]

what should i have done?

She: - I think this was a mistake and that we won't be together
You: - That´s exactly what I even wanted to say!
She: - WTF?
You: - Because Jessica kisses 10 times better than you. Sorry, I want somebody passionate. Let just be friends, OK?

 

[SchoolBoy]

Look at it as a sh1t test.. don't fail it by acting like an AFC by asking her why.
Don't talk to her for a few days or a week; even if she messages you or calls you first. and IF she does end up calling you again after at least 3-4 days, give a little bit of attitude to demonstrate higher value. And don't ever bring up the kiss subject again. Act like it never happened. If you do this right, it will increase her interest as she will wonder why you're not acting like every other AFC loser who either complains and whines, or chase her while she retreats.

 

[drift king]

too late. she text me literally 1 hour after i left her asking me if i still want to meet up tomorrow and she still wants to kiss me.

does such a swift reaction still count?

i felt at first i should have said no cos shes treating me bad, but then at the same time after kissing me's gone past this barrier in her head and felt confused.

should i still have rejected her request? i didnt give away too much in the response except i'd see her tomorrow during class break.

i think i should have it out with her in a clear defined manner of what i expect and that she cant treat me this way. however i imagine she may just do it again toying with me if i give this ultimatum.

right now it feels as if she can treat me however she wants and i'll take it. is the fact she responded so quickly after the incident means theres a grace period that i can forgive?

the bottom line is.. she said we wont be together, it was stupid and a mistake. maybe she needs to justify in her mind that kissing me was fine cos we become bf and gf etc. its like girls who sleep with u then try to turn u into a bf but this is about kissing instead. so strange..

 

[YogurtSlinger]

Drop her like a sack of taters. There's more fish in the sea than that triflin' ho.

 

[SchoolBoy]

basically she just told you "we won't be together", now she suddenly changes her mind (like a typically female) and wants to meet you up tomorrow and "kiss" you. An AFC would quickly agree to that request. A DJ would simply say, "I'm busy tomorrow how about ______ instead." You can't just run back to her when she feels like it, because then she'd be calling the shots. This is a total sh1t test written all over it. Don't give her that ultimatum!! and don't act like ANY of this effected you. Remember, a real DJ doesn't let exterior situations effect him. When you do see her, wait for her to initiate the kiss, give her one peck and say "that's all you get". That way you demonstrate some higher value to her.

 

[horaholic]

You had to make TWO threads about the same damn thing? Really? Not to mention its twentieth thread about the same chick, and thats not counting the ones Pete101 posted. You are the same person aren't you?

 

[drift king]

basically she just told you "we won't be together", now she suddenly changes her mind (like a typically female) and wants to meet you up tomorrow and "kiss" you. An AFC would quickly agree to that request. A DJ would simply say, "I'm busy tomorrow how about ______ instead." You can't just run back to her when she feels like it, because then she'd be calling the shots. This is a total sh1t test written all over it. Don't give her that ultimatum!! and don't act like ANY of this effected you. Remember, a real DJ doesn't let exterior situations effect him. When you do see her, wait for her to initiate the kiss, give her one peck and say "that's all you get". That way you demonstrate some higher value to her.

ahh crap.. i knew it was a test.. i just didnt know how to respond. i tried calling 10mins after the text but she didnt pick up, so i sent the reply about 20mins after. i said 'u can see me if u buy me something to eat and take me to the movies. im going to be in the lobby in class break tomorrow. come see me there. we'll talk tomorrow.'

was this ok? i pretty much felt i was agreeing straight away but maybe my text was better than i thought.

originally i said we'd go out tomorrow but after her 'we dont be together' remark i thought ok that's over.

what do u suggest i say to her after only giving her a peck? she'll be expecting i kiss her properly, which i wont do. if shes running back to me like this i should use some of this temporary leverage to regain back some power.

 

[drift_king]

basically she just told you "we won't be together", now she suddenly changes her mind (like a typically female) and wants to meet you up tomorrow and "kiss" you. An AFC would quickly agree to that request. A DJ would simply say, "I'm busy tomorrow how about ______ instead." You can't just run back to her when she feels like it, because then she'd be calling the shots. This is a total sh1t test written all over it. Don't give her that ultimatum!! and don't act like ANY of this effected you. Remember, a real DJ doesn't let exterior situations effect him. When you do see her, wait for her to initiate the kiss, give her one peck and say "that's all you get". That way you demonstrate some higher value to her.

i maybe should tell her that im busy tonight so only have a couple hours free, if she asks me what im doing i could say im going out with my buddy (the 1 she knows i go pick up girls with) this may cause a revenge reaction from her.

my plan is to get her in my room and bang her before i go out, when i meet her later how should the convo flow or be about?

she'll want to feel that she can have me anytime, i guess me meeting her in class break prevents it being an arranged formal meet up.

she just seems to want me cos i told her we could never be friends and that i'd walk away if we're not together and not speak to her anymore. she desperately wants to keep me in her life so this 'kiss' maybe a tactic by her to keep me. from day 1 shes told me that once shes kissed a guy she doesnt see other guys, she has some weird moral rules she lives by that once shes done anything with a guy she doesnt see other guys. strange i know.

 

[alphaace]

i maybe should tell her that im busy tonight so only have a couple hours free, if she asks me what im doing i could say im going out with my buddy (the 1 she knows i go pick up girls with) this may cause a revenge reaction from her.

my plan is to get her in my room and bang her before i go out, when i meet her later how should the convo flow or be about?

she'll want to feel that she can have me anytime, i guess me meeting her in class break prevents it being an arranged formal meet up.

she just seems to want me cos i told her we could never be friends and that i'd walk away if we're not together and not speak to her anymore. she desperately wants to keep me in her life so this 'kiss' maybe a tactic by her to keep me. from day 1 shes told me that once shes kissed a guy she doesnt see other guys, s he has some weird moral rules she lives by that once shes done anything with a guy she doesnt see other guys. strange i know.

strange? more like a BS lie she just randomly made up. the text you sent her was pretty lame also , think you might have over reacted to some advise you got earlier. you need to calm down, you are overanalyzing this. dont be in the lobby during your class break to meet her and if she texts you asking where you are ignore it. like schoolboy said, dont give her an ultimatum. next time you see her just say 'hey whats up' if she approaches you. if she asks why wernt u in the lobby just nonchalantly say something came up and then change the subject.


sorry this looks like crap and has terrible grammAr, writing this from a ps3 with no keyboard

 

[Abcd]

It sounds like she's into you, sort of, but she also sounds crazy / not with it, as do you. The only advice this board can probably offer you for getting along in this relationship is to withdraw attention and stop acting like a needy chump - she is needy herself so this will make her want you more. Better option would be to a) find somebody that's not crazy, and b) follow the basic "rules" mentioned in the FAQ - you are breaking almost all of them.