Calm & Laid Back...?

[BenPW-DJNewbie]

I know, this should have been posted in the High School forum, but alot of the 'kids' in there give bull**** answers, so I decided to post here.

I've asked a few fellow DJ's what they think I should do to be and be seen as a cool, calm, and super chilled out guy.

Here are some othe responses i got:

would a cool guy spend all his time worrying whether he's cool?
I think that this is an important part. It seems to me that the more you TRY to be something, the more you come across as trying too hard.

You have to be slower when you speak and make it smoother. Take a few seconds to think of what you're going to say. You don't really have to rush anything; You're in no need to hurry cause you're cool like that lol


Can anyone give their opinions on this post, and give me more advice. I am asking this because I want to be seen as a guy or THE guy that is always chilled out, relaxed, cool to be with and can be fun to be around. Any thoughts? I mainly did this not just to help myself, but because I have searched the forums and found plenty of articles on this, but all of them clash. The advice they give are complete opposites to eachother, so I figured maybe we could have a more up to date thread about this topic?

Much thanks, Ben.

 

[Fuglydude]

If you're intrinsically confident, relaxed and happy with yourself and your life in general, I think its easy to be cool, relaxed, confident, etc.

So, why not work on improving yourself, and acheiving your dreams and aspirations so you're happier in the end, and happy with who you are.

 

[swingdaddy]

I'd agree. I think that if you are enjoying yourself, not thinking about anything too much, and just enjoying life, you'll come across as "cool."

The one thing I don't buy into though is the "slowed" movements and speech. YES, it works for some people. Mostly the ones who are this way naturally. Granted, I don't think you should be running around and chatting like you are on crack either, but I don't think you have to move and talk like you are stuck in molasses just to give a "chilled" vibe.

The reason I say this is I talk and move in a very "passionate" manner, and it's not slow. It's not fast like a New Yorker, but it's not slow. I speak with my hands and make gestures a lot, change the tone of my voice up and down, and my speed depends on the subject/mood we are in. If we are in a corner together talking about how nice it is to relax on a beach, then yes, I'll be speaking in a more "calm" fashion. Where as if we are in a set and I'm relating my most recent paintball story, I'm not going to be talking all slow and chilled -- I'm animated in a non-threating way.

My advice would be to just practice, experiment with different speeds and tempos. After a while you'll develop a sense of what feels contrived for you, and what feels natural. When you find that natural point, STICK WITH IT. Tweak it and modify it to your advantage, but don't try to change it outright just so you seem "more cool."

As far as speech goes, it's far more important to weed out the nervous ticks in your movement and speech -- for example, one of the big things I notice with a lot of people, is saying things in a "question" sort of way as if you are seeking approval. Say it like you mean it!

I'd also recommend not going overboard with the "chill" vibe. It is a great asset, but if you take it too far, you might come across as boring.

 

[MooseGod]

Watch Dazed and Confused. Pay special attention to Matthew McHanahey....however the fvck you spell his name...'s character. He's the epitome of a smooth DJ in this role. Repeat several times while getting stoned.

The main thing is just to be REAL. You think the Fonz worried about whether he was cool or not? :crackup:

 

[TheMaestro87]

I agree with SwingDaddy. I've become an alpha at parties for this school year and I'm a complete motormouth, very passionate. I'm an outgoing smartass who girls can't keep up with if they try. I'm associated with fun. Taking time to choose your words carefully isn't going to make you funny or attractive.

Keep in mind everyone has their own style and this is mine.

 

[smooth guy]

Man if you try to be cool and laid back you'll never get there.

Focus on self improvement and that part is gonna take care of itself.

 

[young_gun]

When you have conversations with people, don't dominate the conversations. People (girls even more so than guys) LOVE to talk about themselves. You can brag a little, but I've met a lot of guys who spend the whole time bragging about what they used to be able to do, what they did in high school, etc. This is NOT a cool guy.

Ask people questions about themselves (but don't become that guy who strings a million questions one after another), hold eye contact with people, and most importantly, SMILE!

 

[Thatfeel21]

unless you're naturally calm and laid back, it's not gonna be that easy to pull off cuz you might get mistaken as quiet...you just have to adopt a truly relaxed mind state and talk slowly with confidence and you'll be seen as that 'laid back dude'...when you're sitting in class, kinda lean back in your chair, and when you walk, take big steps with your head up but walk slowly

 

[Bvbidd]

Watch Dazed and Confused. Pay special attention to Matthew McHanahey....however the fvck you spell his name...'s character. He's the epitome of a smooth DJ in this role. Repeat several times while getting stoned.

The main thing is just to be REAL. You think the Fonz worried about whether he was cool or not? :crackup:

LOL, "You know the best thing about high school girls? As I get older they stay the same age." That guy was very creepy.

 

[MooseGod]

LOL, "You know the best thing about high school girls? As I get older they stay the same age." That guy was very creepy.

Best quote ever.

But really, the guys who try to overdo it with the DJ stuff ARE creepy. Most girls just want authenticity.