Calling your LTR(4 years) Ex on bday after NC 2 months

[thegoodstuff]

What do you guys think? Would that be the right thing to do? I broke up with her almost 2 months ago. It was a 4 year relationship. She's 18, turning 19, and I'm 19. I know I'm not getting back together maybe ever(not at least until after college), and it's been no contact for this whole time (2 months). Should I call her to wish her a happy birthday? Should I keep it breif? Anything I should avoid bringing up?

 

[doctorj]

dude, you went NC on her for a reason, if you're gonna call her...it might lead you back to square 1...

so don't...just don't

 

[Kailex]

No contact means no contact.

Why call her for her birthday?
Are you trying to use this an excuse to talk to her?

 

[romanticpoet]

No contact means no contact.

Why call her for her birthday?
Are you trying to use this an excuse to talk to her?

BTW, are you NC because you want to get back with her or to burn bridges.

Option1) If she is still interested you at all (if not stop chasing), and if you don't call then she would wonder why you don't call on her birthday, getting her to think about you.

Option2)If you're trying to burn bridges, why the fvck do you want to call her?

Option3)If you don't want to burn a 4 year relationship and just be friends then call her. This is just to remain friends with her. (Since she DID occupy 20% of your life)

TL;DR Don't call her, unless you want to be just a friend.

 

[thegoodstuff]

I broke up with her because of long distance complications. We both need to grow up. We were extremely attached to eachother to the point where we were losing our individual selves. It just wasn't working out. I don't really put blame to either of us, it's more like it's just life. We need to grow up apart.

I don't really know what I want right now. But I don't really have to make a decision about her for at least 2-3 years until we finish college.

I did no contact because I felt it was the best to help un-attach ourselves from eachother.

My gut tells me it may be to early still to contact her; what I'm saying is I need more time to really clear my head.

My reason for inquiry is because some of me kinda feels like maybe I want to call, but just for short. See, when I broke up with her it wasn't exactly a happy convo. It was short and sweet to the point explaining it just wasn't working, and it was about 20 seconds of phone time. No contact since then. Reason for such brevity is because a few prior days to that call she had been acting a little cold towards me, almost as if we KNEW it wasn't working out. I have a feeling she might have her head a bit near what mine is like right now because we had broken up once before (8 months ago), and she and I got back together and discussed feelings and they were pretty much the same.

 

[WC2]

Call her as long as you have self control. For instance, make sure you can control the length of the conversation. No more than 5 minutes. Second of all, make sure that you can control talking about nothing of the past and nothing about you two.

Lastly, make sure you can control the afterschocks. More than likely, after this call she will make small attempts to contact you again. If you can control not responding to the aftershocks and going on with your life, then by all means wish the girl a happy birthday. After all, you were with her for 4 years. Some of my best friends I've only known for 3 - 4 years.

But don't lie to yourself. If you don't have the control, do not call. That is the whole point of NC. Control.