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Calling Women Out vs. Silent Acceptance

catsmeow

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So basically you don’t know how to act and you depend on a man to put you in your place when you “act up” because you don’t have enough self awareness to know right from wrong? Screw that, I don’t have time to raise anyone, especially a grown adult. I don’t care if it’s feminine or what, BS is BS and I don’t tolerate that stuff anymore in my older age. I won’t withdraw attention or anything, I’ll just ghost you. Forever.
Lol, no I don't "act up" and no I don't "expect" a man to "put me in my place'" that's quite the spin! :rolleyes:

But hell we all (men and women) can behave in ways that might be hurtful, without being aware we are being hurtful, it's human nature.

There are no perfect people.

However, if you never do and act "perfect" 100% of the time, never unintentionally hurting your partner, good for you! You are a rarity.

And if/when I do, I appreciate when he confronts me about it versus passively cowering away and withdrawing.

That's ALL I'm saying.
 
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2Rocky

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Now I realize OP was talking about first dates and all. but when it comes to relationships of the long lasting kind one of the smartest minds in real life said the words "Seek Peace over Justice" . And I had to think about that.

Because in the Final years of my failing marriage I definitely wanted Justice. When we negotiated terms of the Divorce, I wanted peace. and to be fair, I was happier when I sought peace. That's my own personal peace. if i didn't like the situation someone created, I removed myself from that situation.
 

catsmeow

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Now I realize OP was talking about first dates and all. but when it comes to relationships of the long lasting kind one of the smartest minds in real life said the words "Seek Peace over Justice" . And I had to think about that.

if i didn't like the situation someone created, I removed myself from that situation.
"Seek Peace Over Justice," yeah I will need to think about too, because I am a huge believer in BOTH.

Not justice as revenge, but rather, fairness.

Re last para, that's my typical MO too, but rethinking that as it seems like 'avoidance,' which I am trying to rid myself from.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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As has been said:

“The best revenge is a life well lived.”

And

“Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing, that’s what they need.”
 

Atom Smasher

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I have never understood the prevailing thoughts around here regarding this issue. Most guys here always think of only two options, which are polar opposites. Either “call her out”, which to most of you means conveying weakness and neediness, or slink away quietly, which is supposedly the way to convey power.

Both extremes are entirely wrong, but calling out is closer to correct. The third and most effective option is to call her out in a detached, matter-of-fact way.

Women need to be corrected, and WANT to be corrected. Go back and read @catsmeow ‘s first post in this thread. We should ALWAYS call women out on their sh!t. The mistake is doing it with emotion. Just calmly and factually tell them why their behavior is unacceptable, and 9 times out of 10 their attraction for you will increase dramatically.

I’ve called many women out in my life, in that calm, detached manner, and every single time I got positive results. Women can derive zero power from such an interaction because they know you are unaffected, and simply stating your requirements and that she fails to meet them. This tends to drive them absolutely crazy as the tables are turned.
 

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3agle 3yes

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Why is this thread being revived? The first post was in 2015, I don’t even think OP is on this forum anymore.

I’ve posted on this already, I’ve changed my opinion since then. Most of this can be avoided by simply giving her dates when you’re available instead of asking her when she’s available.

Most normal people are available on the weekends anyway, especially women, so just pick a weekend.

Expecting to go on a “date” that lasts hours with someone you‘ve just met, or haven’t seen face-to-face before is usually too much commitment for many people these days.
 

mrskinnypantz

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I’ve learned (and it took some time)that the best way to handle this is to simply move on. Sometimes no response, is a response.
This is NOT something you should call her out on. It will only push her away more and make you look weak
 

BadBoy89

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As a woman, that is correct, I agree with you. However, when a woman has HIGH interest, I will tell you with all honesty that we will actually respect a man who calls us out on our BS. We want to be called out on our BS, often times we don't even realize it's BS "UNTIL" a man we respect calls us out.
A woman ALWAYS knows what she is doing when is comes to romantic relationships. If it’s business, she can’t manipulate. But when it’s about emotions and sex and love and dating and babies, she can manipulate with her eyes closed and one hand behind her back.

Now why would a woman with high interest give a man BS in the first place?
 

BriBri

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Just calmly and factually tell them why their behavior is unacceptable, and 9 times out of 10 their attraction for you will increase dramatically.

I’ve called many women out in my life, in that calm, detached manner, and every single time I got positive results. Women can derive zero power from such an interaction because they know you are unaffected, and simply stating your requirements and that she fails to meet them. This tends to drive them absolutely crazy as the tables are turned.
I equate this to the old expression "...kill them with kindness...".
 

catsmeow

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Now why would a woman with high interest give a man BS in the first place?
LOL, come on everyone gives each other BS, both women AND men. Sometimes it's intentional aiming for a particular reaction and sometimes unintentional . Anyone who has been in a relationship more than one week knows this. And often times it happens when our interest level is HIGHER cause when our interest is higher, we have more invested and our egos get involved, and lord have mercy when that happens. lol

It's simply the nature of the beast, like I said there a no perfect people, we are all capable of messing up from time to time. Unless you are some sort of a robot programmed to act and be "perfect."

Thank you @Atom Smasher for agreeing with me and "getting me." After being shot down by @stringpuller for simply existing on this forum, you have renewed my faith!! ;)
 

stringpuller

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LOL, come on everyone gives each other BS, both women AND men. Sometimes it's intentional aiming for a particular reaction and sometimes unintentional . Anyone who has been in a relationship more than one week knows this. And often times it happens when our interest level is HIGHER cause when our interest is higher, we have more invested and our egos get involved, and lord have mercy when that happens. lol

It's simply the nature of the beast, like I said there a no perfect people, we are all capable of messing up from time to time. Unless you are some sort of a robot programmed to act and be "perfect."

Thank you @Atom Smasher for agreeing with me and "getting me." After being shot down by @stringpuller for simply existing on this forum, you have renewed my faith!! ;)
There are plenty of Captain save a hoes on the boards. Glad he could give you that "emotional charge" you so well needed.
 

jamesfromhouston

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Some great replies here.

I've a different angled question for this, hope some bros can input.

Suppose if an OLD girl ignores/flakes on you when asked out; would it be considered an overreaction/butthurt to remove them from your social media list?

Or would it still be the advice, of withdrawing attention but leaving them be on social media.

One interesting thing I've seen in my social media/OLD experiment this year is that when I just move on, the flakers still stalk my stories and like my posts despite not wanting to go out.

Feels weird, almost like a disrespect to me that they want to stalk my life yet not respond to actual plans to hang. Not sure if deleting/blocking them is seen as an overreaction.
 

darksprezzatura

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Why waste your time calling out a woman that has low interest.

I never get p!ssy with a woman, I just next them. Look all this is fun. I know that many think this kind of stuff is annoying, but I just love watching women get all confused when I don't behave the way they expect.

If you think a woman is disrespecting you the best thing you can do to her is to just pretend she means nothing to you.... disappear don't give her any thought at all. Trust me this will bother her a lot more than showing you are ticked off at her.
Read this^

Operant conditioning dictates ignoring bad behaviour and rewarding good behaviour is the best way to training humans.

In rare exceptions , quickly punishing for bad behaviour can be useful.

Sport fvcking requires us to learn tricks of dog training.

Act accordingly.
 

Redwolf

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Some great replies here.

I've a different angled question for this, hope some bros can input.

Suppose if an OLD girl ignores/flakes on you when asked out; would it be considered an overreaction/butthurt to remove them from your social media list?

Or would it still be the advice, of withdrawing attention but leaving them be on social media.

One interesting thing I've seen in my social media/OLD experiment this year is that when I just move on, the flakers still stalk my stories and like my posts despite not wanting to go out.

Feels weird, almost like a disrespect to me that they want to stalk my life yet not respond to actual plans to hang. Not sure if deleting/blocking them is seen as an overreaction.
I have the same question. What to do with flakes that always follow your social media but have no intention of ever coming around. I'm really tempted to unfriend them but find it comical when they see me having a blast and living an awesome life without them.
 

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