"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Call out their bullshyt??

sstype

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I called up this girl to arrange meet #2 after a kiss close date on meet #1. her excuse was that it would be to late for her to go out, her parents wouldnt let her (9:30 PM?) Of course, I should have no problem with this, but since I seem to have mastered sensing bull**** from girls that flake out on me, I am suspicious. I told her I would call her back next week since I am pretty busy anyways with work and school.

Now my question is...if i ask her again later on this week, and she drums up another excuse, should I directly confront her about this. To be honest it really pisses me off when a girl flakes out on me, and in the past i would always take the hit and move on. But for some reason, I just feel the urge to let her know how i feel.

ex:
...after excuse. "ok well, I dont know whether or not thats true, but i am starting to feel that I shouldnt bother calling you anymore if you keep making excuses everytime i ask you out"

I mean, im tired of just saying "okay, bye" what do you guys think??
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jiza101

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Originally posted by sstype
I called up this girl to arrange meet #2 after a kiss close date on meet #1. her excuse was that it would be to late for her to go out, her parents wouldnt let her (9:30 PM?) Of course, I should have no problem with this, but since I seem to have mastered sensing bull**** from girls that flake out on me, I am suspicious. I told her I would call her back next week since I am pretty busy anyways with work and school.

Now my question is...if i ask her again later on this week, and she drums up another excuse, should I directly confront her about this. To be honest it really pisses me off when a girl flakes out on me, and in the past i would always take the hit and move on. But for some reason, I just feel the urge to let her know how i feel.

ex:
...after excuse. "ok well, I dont know whether or not thats true, but i am starting to feel that I shouldnt bother calling you anymore if you keep making excuses everytime i ask you out"

I mean, im tired of just saying "okay, bye" what do you guys think??
Just move on man, just say whatever to her. Stop ringing her etc, if she asks you why, just say you dont play bull**** mind games. The end.
 

johnnyrem

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Seems to me you're asking her permission to walk off if you confront her.

Just walk off, if your BS detector is running that high. If it was reliable in the past, that is.

Leave her wondering.

Some of your post needs more explaining. Was this a last minute call the night you wanted to go out, or did you call her well in advance and she said no?

It has some bearing.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Originally posted by sstype
I called up this girl to arrange meet #2 after a kiss close date on meet #1. her excuse was that it would be to late for her to go out, her parents wouldnt let her (9:30 PM?) Of course, I should have no problem with this, but since I seem to have mastered sensing bull**** from girls that flake out on me, I am suspicious. I told her I would call her back next week since I am pretty busy anyways with work and school.

Now my question is...if i ask her again later on this week, and she drums up another excuse, should I directly confront her about this. To be honest it really pisses me off when a girl flakes out on me, and in the past i would always take the hit and move on. But for some reason, I just feel the urge to let her know how i feel.

ex:
...after excuse. "ok well, I dont know whether or not thats true, but i am starting to feel that I shouldnt bother calling you anymore if you keep making excuses everytime i ask you out"

I mean, im tired of just saying "okay, bye" what do you guys think??

A big problem when your coming up in the game is you feel like you need to have a response for every word and action a girl gives you. I use to think the same way. However I've come to realize a few things now that I'm a bit older and wiser.

1) Call girls out when your ABSOLUTELY positive they are bullshyting. The "excuse" she gave you doesn't seem like a lie to me, plus she kissed you which shows you she's interested. Don't get all tangled up in your web of macho-ness or you will be missing opportunities with great girls.

2) If she gives you another excuse the next time you ask her out, TAKE THE HINT and move on. No need to bad mouth her or call her out, you can't get pissed because she isn't interested. That's AFC behavior at its best.


So where do you go from here? Back off, for a few days and try to set something up for early next week. You want to give her the gift of missing you and make her think you might be with other women. In the courting phase you have to do a lot of work to get what you want, don't confuse being persistant with being an AFC. I've had success with quiet a few girls who were giving me the brush off at first, you get out what you put in bro.



PIMP
 

blinkwatt

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dont bother,but dont hate her after that.
leave the window open for her to come after you but dont pursue her looking like a fool.move on.girls just flake out cause thats how alot of them are,but those arent the types of girls that you want a relationship with.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TesuqueRed

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Because you feel the need or urge to call her out means she got to you. I don't care what you say that she hasn't -- proof is in the emotional response: she got to you.

And you calling her out will tell her just that.

Ignore the words, follow the action: you calling her out tells her she got to you. If she didn't, you'd move on w/o a second thought.

She blew you off - your BS detector is probably on. You've ignored her words and picked up on her action, which means she probably isn't all that interested.

My point: now you know all you need to know: she's not all that interested. So move on and save the theatrics.

Best response: don't call her again, be nice to her, and date others. She goes to the back of the line. If she has any interest, this will get to her. In fact, be on a 2 dates next week.

Alternate take: maybe she needs to see that you care and she got to you. Calling her out on her BS will do that. Sometimes it works - for that reason.

If you can't let this go, then it means she got to you - don't care what you say, you don't feel heat like that unless she did. Imagine a 2.0 chick flaking on you -- you'd feel relieved! You wouldn't call her on it.

If she got to you just accept it and deal with it.
 

sstype

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thanx for the replies. My next thing is to call her up and try to arrange something and if she excuses herself again, I will just back off and move on
 

upcomingDJ

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lol man i can't believe this sh*t.... yea as a DJ, it is a numbers game....

but at the same time.. it still hurts your ego when you lose one... just like to me today... here's my situation.. lemme get your opinions on this:

-met this girl at a party
-called her the week after
-went on a date couple days later (everything went smoothly.. even hinted that she wanted to see me again)
-she calls lots of times asking when i will see her...
-i dont respond till like 3 days (i had other things going on---> other girls, school, work, friends, etc.)
- she says yea, agrees on a certain day
- calls and cancels
- i ask why.. she says "i have a boyfriend"

i think its BS but i don't know exactly what happened...i think my past is coming back to haunt me.. (i was a punk back then) and this girl knows girls from my school.. so i dunno
 

flexion_

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I give women 3 strikes if I like them. After that I don't ever get mad at them... they just get bumped down the list. No worries...
 

Johnnie5

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you rang her and expected her to go out straight away after 930

no doubt she lives with parents and seems like a normal excuse to me , her dad will prob say where do you think you are heading this late ??

get your **** together and call in advance and give notice if you expect them to come out

she is prob sitting there thinking gee this d1ck rings me and expects me to go out , sh1t it will take me an hour to get ready , shave my legs, do my hair and all that other bvllsh1t

your comeback would have better to be ok i understand that how about X day ? then you would have had an answer from here to base your BS detector on, when she would have said busy that night how about x or ok no probs what time ?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TesuqueRed

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Originally posted by flexion_
I give women 3 strikes if I like them. After that I don't ever get mad at them... they just get bumped down the list. No worries...
That's what i'm talkin' about
 

spider_007

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calling out "bull" should be only done at certan times. eg: a chick I new once started asking me if I thought she looked nice, if I liked her etc.... what i said in return was "we are fishing for compliments?" You should have seen the look on her face, caught her of guard:D

I wouldn't even bother calling her: she was probably trying to be nice and say; "I don't think this is gona work."
 

sstype

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yeah, she was bull****ting me. turned out she broke up with her LTR bf to date another guy, and that she wasnt interested from the getgo. so i hung up on her, tried calling me back, ignored her call, havent heard from her since.


so yeah, my BS detector prevails once again in the midst of all these rejections...
 
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