iveyleeger
Senior Don Juan
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anyway, I sent a three sentence email. and I got two paragraphs back about 6 hrs later. so I think this one's in the bag. and I'm glad I didn't call, I hate calling
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
"Call Me Tomorrow"
- Thread starter iveyleeger
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
al77
Master Don Juan
Right on.Originally posted by iveyleeger
anyway, I sent a three sentence email. and I got two paragraphs back about 6 hrs later. so I think this one's in the bag. and I'm glad I didn't call, I hate calling
Even if she has high IL, we guys risk talking to her answering machine... which is no good at all. And we risk to be tempted to be like "all normal nice guys" and leave her a messsage...
I remember some guy asked her a woman he just met:
He: I've called you 3 times.. why didn't you pick up teh phone?
She: I dont answer the phone if I dont know who is it.
He: But you gave me your number, right? If you dont answer the phone if you dont know who is it, then you would never answer me calls!
Chicks logic is illogical, but it is very beneficial to them: they test guys, they wanna see how AFC you are....
iveyleeger
Senior Don Juan
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So I replied to her email the next day, just some basic c/f, and . . . nothing.
That makes two women in the past two months where we met, had an "instadate," exchange one email, and that's it. Both were 5's. Both were language students/teachers.
Weird.
That makes two women in the past two months where we met, had an "instadate," exchange one email, and that's it. Both were 5's. Both were language students/teachers.
Weird.
al77
Master Don Juan
Just some c&f?Originally posted by iveyleeger
So I replied to her email the next day, just some basic c/f, and . . . nothing.
Lets see: she emailed you? Yes. She showed some interest? Yes.
You replied back with some decent c&f? yes.
Now... what is goign to happen? You dont think she is going to email you again and ask you out, do you?
Women usually put this "burden" on men as far as I remember.
From my personal experience - even very interested women would never ask me out. They show all kind of sings of interests.. yes. But to ask a guy out they consider "too much".
iveyleeger
Senior Don Juan
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I didn't expect her to ask me out. Just reply to the 2nd email. As in a normal conversation.
Anyway, maybe she figured I wasn't interested since I didn't set up another date right away. But clearly she wasn't that interested, either.
Anyway, maybe she figured I wasn't interested since I didn't set up another date right away. But clearly she wasn't that interested, either.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
al77
Master Don Juan
Lets look at the dynamics: you met her in real life, not online.Originally posted by iveyleeger
I didn't expect her to ask me out. Just reply to the 2nd email. As in a normal conversation.
Anyway, maybe she figured I wasn't interested since I didn't set up another date right away. But clearly she wasn't that interested, either.
Does she remember that? Yes.
Then you talked online? Yes.
Now does she still remember that you are not an online guy?
I think so. That means she sees online talk not as a normal conevrsation. She sees it as if you are loosing interests, ie. your IL is falling...Sure she wont chase you since she is an "innocent girl", that's guy's responsibility to be proactive...
One email is definitely fine, but when you didn't suggest anything in terms of tegging together second time... she "sensed" your falling IL in her.
Though it is possible she'll reply later.
iveyleeger
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That makes sense. I also made her wait 4 days for the first email. So what would the better thing to have done be?