"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Call Me A Fool, I Want Her Back

Fizzlerather

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So, I know I'm necroing a two year old thread, but for anyone who originally read this, I guess I thought an update was in order.

I had forgotten entirely about making this thread, until I noticed in my e-mail someone tried unsuccessfully to log into this account July 5th repeatedly. I can only guess it was her trying to erase everything here.

As you can no doubt guess, the relationship is long over. It went on after this thread was made until July of last year. I'm not sure how far along I'd gotten with the drama in this thread, but whatever I said I assure you it only got more insane from there. I don't even want to read back over what I may have said, it's painful and embarrassing.

The short version of how it ended up, I ended up stranded and alone in another town she'd isolated me from all my friends and family in, without so much as a car. She'd evidently been poisoning my cats, and abusing them and her dog whenever I left the house. By the end she got pretty physically and emotionally abusive, and I just stupidly kept right on putting up with whatever insanity she threw at me until she cheated on me. I don't stick with girls who do that, so I cut ties completely as soon as I found out. She apparently had another outburst back at her parents and briefly got herself committed again, and I went completely insane myself for maybe three months. Was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Started cooking up all manner of insane plans I won't mention here.

I ended up having to change my locks. In the months that followed she kept trying to log into all my online accounts to try to get information about me. I didn't keep track of her at all after that, went out of my way to avoid hearing about her, it was too painful. Last I heard of her the new relationship became a disaster even quicker than the one she had with me, and she'd been fired from two more jobs and dropped out of her latest college (in this case a beauty school.)

At the one year mark she started calling my phone from hidden numbers and sending me a ton of text messages claiming to be someone else and wanting to hook up. I told her I knew it was her and I hoped she went into counseling for her borderline and stopped replying. She confirmed it was her, and flooded my phone with more texts and calls, but I just deleted the texts after that.

I've been with other girls since then, I have some comfortable prospects, I moved on. She was still to me the most physically attractive girl I've ever been with, but I realize that's all she was. It was a purely physical, chemical attraction. She looked good, she felt good, she smelled good, she tasted good, but she was poison. A great big gaping venus fly trap screeching "FEED ME!"

Still, part of me's going to miss her, for the scant few moments of sanity, and the sex. And she's definitely left me completely different. I don't open up with girls anymore. I never let myself be vulnerable with them anymore. I don't care if they threaten to leave me, but it's not really because I've improved in any way, it's really just apathy flavored with "I've had better."
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Twodogs

Don Juan
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We'll that was a very entertaining read!
You've learnt a lot (hopefully) but as predicted did it the hard way.
Good on you for posting an update, who knows it might actually help someone in the same position.
 

Zunder

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Fizzlerather, you either were / are a troll, or should write a book or screenplay for a movie and make a million bucks.
 
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