Call her out on this or look beta

[Comatozed]

When its been a few days between conversation and I initiate texting, or if she takes a while (few hours) to reply she often apologizes for it like 'sorry ive been busy....'

I do believe she has been busy. But her stance is confusing me. Like if she was interested Im sure she mighta found time..but then why is she apologizing to me...does she genuinely feel bad or she trying to be polite?

I think i've had as much as I can take and need to know either way now.

I'm so tempted to call her out and say something along the lines of 'if your not interested thats fine just tell me and that will be that'

but obv that reeks of insecurity and also I wouldnt word it like that.

What should I do?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Know When a Chick Isn't Interested

When its been a few days between conversation and I initiate texting, or if she takes a while (few hours) to reply she often apologizes for it like 'sorry ive been busy....'

Translated from the w*manese bruh,

or if she takes a while (few hours) to reply she often apologizes for it like 'sorry ive been busy....'busy doing something, anything other than talking to you, like hanging out with my friends, homework, shopping, working, dittling myself, being taken out a date by one of the legionnaires in my legion of followers, or fellating and getting to know carnally the guy that I'm actually interested in.

I do believe she has been busy.

Yeah she's been busy, namely busy doing something other than messing with you.

But her stance is confusing me.

To quote Judge Nismo, (and I think it's Judge Nismo,) "Women who are interested in you won't confuse you."

Like if she was interested Im sure she mighta found time..

but then why is she apologizing to me

Because women hate confrontations and that's probably what she generally does when she's tardy in returning her texts.

...does she genuinely feel bad

Does, she feel bad. :crackup:. Yeah potna, she's all broke up about it and it keeps her up at night.

or she trying to be polite?

No, she's just avoiding a confrontation?

I think i've had as much as I can take and need to know either way now.

Need to know what, that she isn't trying to mess with you, after she's given you every indication that she isn't trying to reciprocate your feelings towards her? Really, bruh.

I'm so tempted to call her out and say something along the lines of 'if your not interested thats fine just tell me and that will be that' but obv that reeks of insecurity and also I wouldnt word it like that.

I'm glad you realize that and you're thinking better of doing it.

What should I do?

What do you think you should do and explain your rationale as to why?

 

[Comatozed]

I think I should ask her out, expect her to make excuse, if she doesn't counter offer move on.

Sound good?

Its tricky cos we're both unavailable for 2 weeks, so i cant ask her out so far in advance. I wish I could just put myself out my misery, but if i don't bring it up im going to have this long drawn out painful ending to it all, involving some texts back and forth that imply shes lost interest but i won't know for sure until the date proposal.

sigh - i caught feelings for her. fml

can this really just end with us both stopping talking, with no actual closing talk? at some point i'm going to have to get closure im sure.

 

[Tictac]

If you want to go beta, call her out.

Otherwise go look for a few new plates.

 

[The_411]

I think I should ask her out, expect her to make excuse, if she doesn't counter offer move on.

Sound good?

Its tricky cos we're both unavailable for 2 weeks, so i cant ask her out so far in advance. I wish I could just put myself out my misery, but if i don't bring it up im going to have this long drawn out painful ending to it all, involving some texts back and forth that imply shes lost interest but i won't know for sure until the date proposal.

sigh - i caught feelings for her. fml

can this really just end with us both stopping talking, with no actual closing talk? at some point i'm going to have to get closure im sure.

I can already tell you what will happen if you ask her out. Now if you want to ask her out to practice asking women out that's fine, but if you are asking her out under the pretense that she'll yes, then you are wasting your time on someone who isn't interested.

Think about the fact that she's apologizing to you. Why is she apologizing to you becuase she feels guilty that she's stringing you along and wasting your time.

If a girl is apologizing it had better be for something that she's actually done that's worth apologizing and even in that scenario it's time to hop along, Cassidy.

Girls that are interested a guy try to do everything in their power to avoid doing things that they have to apologize for becuase they know he'll give them their walking papers.

 

[Comatozed]

Good post this is what I come here for.

She's been pretty responsive just now but bleh proly just her being polite

I guess now I just leave it to her to initiate texting. If she doesn't initiate for 2-3 days then I guess I can save the bother of asking her out and the writing will be on the wall.

agree?

 

[The_411]

Good post this is what I come here for.

She's been pretty responsive just now but bleh proly just her being polite

I guess now I just leave it to her to initiate texting. If she doesn't initiate for 2-3 days then I guess I can save the bother of asking her out and the writing will be on the wall.

agree?

Just stop talking to her altogether and stop hoping. If a girl is interested she will let you know and there will be no ambiguity.

 

[Comatozed]

i can try.

until she flakes a date or refuses to reply at all, i'm probably always going to initiate at somepoint even if she won't.

I don't know why this is, probably cos part of me is thinking that me initiating and her replying is better than us not speaking, even if i know deep down its gone.

i'll learn.

 

[VladPatton]

But her stance is confusing me.

You answered your own question by stating this. An interested girl will not confuse you. However, to be 100% sure, stop beatin around the bush and ask her out and you will know without a doubt if she's yay or nay.

 

[Helpabrotherout]

Ask her out. She says yes but anyone can say yes, a girl going through with an ACTION is another thing. Good luck.

 

[Big Pappy]

Here's the problem. She's just one girl. one. Because of this, you're focusing on her.

Go.
Meet.
More girls.

You initiate communication because you're familiar with her, but not the two girls drinking latte's at that table at Starbucks.

You're comfortable - well, sort of, interacting with her. At least, more comfortable with her than with the girls you haven't met yet.

The only time to focus on that one girl is when you've already compared her to many others and she's compared favorably.

But, that's just me.

 

[Comatozed]

I will try.

FWIW this girl I've spent 3 long weekends with in the past 2 months, gotten pretty close, and now she just seems to have lost all interest. I guess this happens a lot, but it's the first time it happened to me and it feels ****.

Gonna not initiate until Friday at the earliest, I think if she doesn't spark anything by then its the final nail.

Would 'this thing we had going on..is it still going on?' on friday sound too needy/beta...would i be better to say 'what you upto next weekend' as though i havent really acknowledged her withdrawing?

 

[MillionBillionaire]

I am in the same relationship with a young latina girl. Except now she is showing all signs of high interest .. leaving her phone at the table during dates, initiating texts, sending selfies, sending pics of what she is eating, asking what kind of shampoo I use .etc ... I guess these are ioi's ... but I STILL get that feeling ... is she FUVKING another dude?

In the end.. always assume YES.

and get more plates.

Protect your heart.

This is why I am going out Friday.. Solo.

I have a Fvck date set for Saturday for my oneitis.

Flashbacks I guess.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Do NOT ask her what her intentions are. Any of the incredibly small attraction she has for you will be gone the instant she reads anything needy like that.
She should be asking you. She should be wondering why you don't respond quickly to texts and if you're fvcking other women.
Have you even slept with this girl? If not, why not?
Does she initiate texts or is it always you?
Do you flirt in your texts or just talk about mundane boring shyt?
What indicators of interest does she give you?
How old is she?

I'd get busy meeting new chicks and keeping this one as a side project.

 

[bukowski_merit]

FWIW this girl I've spent 3 long weekends with in the past 2 months, gotten pretty close, and now she just seems to have lost all interest.

This happens. You MUST learn to be ok with it or risk swimming in the lake of sorrow for the rest of your dating life.

My best advice is to not spend long weekends with women when you first are "dating"; make her work for that time.

Also, don't text much after you lay her (I'm assuming that if you're spending long weekends with her - you are actively fvcking her brains out - if not, that's a big problem right there!)

Her slow responses are signs that: 1) She's lost/losing interest (or never had it) + 2) She has no fear of losing your attention.

Right now she is NOT thinking "when is Comatozed going to text me next?"

But you ARE thinking "how fast is she going to respond next time I text her?"

Who has the power here?

Gonna not initiate until Friday at the earliest, I think if she doesn't spark anything by then its the final nail.

Don't initiate at all. Today is Tuesday; Friday is 4 days away. Four days is PLENTY of time to find new women.... Work on that.

Would 'this thing we had going on..is it still going on?' on friday sound too needy/beta...would i be better to say 'what you upto next weekend' as though i havent really acknowledged her withdrawing?

How big is your d!ck sir???

Do not send any of that needy nonsense unless the answer is less than 1 inch!


It's not good enough to present yourself "as though" you haven't acknowledged her withdrawing...... It's better to have never noticed in the first place.


Withdraw all attention. Put your balls in another girls basket.

70% chance - she initiates eventually (might be a week or weeks); something like: "Haven't heard from you in a while. Everything ok?"
30% chance - she doesn't.

Either way - you're in a much better position then you're in now.

 

[Maximus Rex]

It isn't Worth a Damn Thing

FWIW this girl I've spent 3 long weekends with in the past 2 months, gotten pretty close,

And it isn't worth a damn thing. You are aware of the fact that "getting to know," some one over the course of "three long weekends," is a contradiction in terms right.

and now she just seems to have lost all interest.

Because over the course of those "three long weekends," you said or did something that turned her off.

I guess this happens a lot, but it's the first time it happened to me and it feels ****.

Take it was a lesson learned and charge it to The Game.

Gonna not initiate until Friday at the earliest, I think if she doesn't spark anything by then its the final nail.

Dude, Rex is sprung (has a crush on,) this a broad, (see "T. H. Y. C. E. A. C. Warning Long A$$ Briefing," http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=177649&page=3,)

In dealing with "T. H. Y. C. E. A. C. ," I learned a very important lesson, when a chick wants to kick it with you, she's going to make it known (under no uncertain terms,) that she's trying to hang up, in other words she'll come and see about you. She'll remember the date, she, all and confirm, and sometimes, she'll take the initiative and either insinuate that she wants you to ask her out, or she'll be as bold to actually take the bull by horns and just act you to hang, if you read my field reports, you'll see that theme recurring time and time again.

Comatozed, I know exactly what you're going through, because not only have ya boy experienced it, but he's currently going through it. With "T. H. Y. C. E. A. C.." As you'll read "The Hail Mary," (Post # 57 of that thread,) you'll see that Rex told "T. H. Y. C. E. A. C. he could in order to get her to see him in a different light, all to no avail, sh didn't budge. Not only did she not budge, when she lost interest in her schoolmate (Rex's Primary Competition,) she turned her affections back to a cat she met damn near a year ago, (Rex's Secondary Competition,) she didn't even take a thought to Rex's desire to take her on a date.

Not a day goes by when I don't want to call her, invite her to go some where, or text her just to say, "Hi." However, I don't because it would be hella beta thing to do and it doing these things will be an exercise in futility. In short, concerning the " T. H. Y. C. E. A. C.," Rex has shot his load and has done everything he could possibly do.

And that's were you are. You have shot your load and have emptied both barrels. For you to call this will only confirm in her that you're

1) Desperate

2) Needy

3) and you have no other options.

All you have left is your dignity and self respect and you need to leave this situation with those things firmly intact.

 

[TheGambino]

Ask her out to join you for a couple of drinks, if she doesnt replie, replie late or no answer you want it will be crystal clear

--> NEXT

 

[Comatozed]

We live too far apart for just a couple of drinks, it'd be a weekend or nothing I think, and right now I think probably nothing.

Yes we have had sex.
She would initiate but it feels like shes doing so less recently - hard to quantify without going back through messages.

She's back home atm for easter break and has been for 4 weeks, i saw her maybe 4 weekends out of 10 or 11 prior to that so this has been the longest we haven't seen each other, the first 2 weeks of easter break everything seemed fine but this last two weeks she seems to have drifted.

I think if she doesn't initiate there's no point initiating asking her out to be quite honest. I mean I probably will still do cos I'll have to be sure but in the mean time I'll try and detach myself. No point asking her out for a few days anyway since shes home until after next weekend.

This has motivated me to work on myself so much.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I just want to point out how BETA it is in the first place that this guy is whining over the same thing most of the other guys on this board keep whining about, which basically boils down to: "I've been sitting by the phone, waiting for her to message me and she still hasn't hit me up! Woe is me, what does this mean???" It means your ballz got cut off and you're now acting like a little girl who desperately waits by the phone, hoping your newfound love will text/call you. This is, yet again, one of the many reasons I keep saying - say it with me now, fellas - "Texting KILLS Relationships." Because now this guy is basically doing all the things that GIRLS should stereotypically be doing when they like someone, and a girl isn't trying to go out with some dude that's doing things that radiate femininity. And now he wants to send her a message saying "If you don't like me, just let me know and I'll walk away???" How much more unattractive can that BE, maaaaaan???

Look, I get it - you want to be a chatty Cathy on text all day, and feel some kind of way about it when she doesn't hit you back right away. But the reality is, you shouldn't be texting her in the first place (or calling her) unless it's to get the DATE. If you were the boyfriend you could get away with texting her a bit more, but it would be because you'd already have time in with this girl and some kind of commitment going on. Right now, though, you have NONE of those things; therefore, she doesn't deserve, nor does she actually NEED, you to be hitting her up on a regular basis. You text/call/whatever with the intent of getting the DATE. Texting conversations do not help to... wait, I'd better re-word that, lest it be seen as an absolute and I get bashed by the pro-texting crowd, lol: Texting conversations have a higher risk of causing a would-be catch to have lower interest in you. So, while others may be good at using text as a means of turning a girl on, the reality for YOU is that YOU clearly do not have these skills. My suggestion would be to back off on the texting and hit her up in 3 days to ask her out for a week and a half from now.

"But Harry," you ask, trembling in fear, "if I ask her out that far in advance, she might forget about our date!" In which case, GREAT - it means she wasn't interested in the first place. Why? Because if the girl believed you might be the love of her life, she would NOT forget about it. Real talk, I planned a date with a chick earlier this month - like, on April 2nd or 3rd - for an activity we're not even doing until next week. Got a message from her last night saying "can't wait for our date next Monday, looking forward to it!" And golly gee, can you believe I didn't have to remind her about it, despite the fact that almost THREE WEEKS have gone by??

Stop letting fear rule your dating life, maaaaan!

 

[Maximus Rex]

Those Pesty "Minor," Details

We live too far apart for just a couple of drinks,

Don't you think that the "minor little," detail of that this is what you perceived to be a "long distance relationship," should have been included in your initial post?