Call her after Sex or not?

[MattS]

I have a question that I need to know. I had sex with my ex gf yesterday for the first time since we broke up a couple of weeks ago. Weve only talked a couple of times since we broke up and saw each other once before but no sex. She initiated the sex and we were showing a lot of affection towards each other like passionate kissing on the lips. Should I call her up tonight or just wait and see if she calls me first then go from there? If I dont call her then Im just like a one night stand guy treating her like sh!t, right???? If anyone wants to know we broke up cause of nothing to serious. give me your best inputs thanks.

Matt

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by MattS
I have a burning question I need to know. I had sex with my ex gf yesterday for the first time since we broke up a couple of weeks ago. Weve only talked a couple of times since we broke up and saw each other once before but no sex. She initiated the sex and we were showing a lot of affection towards each other like passionate kissing on the lips. Should I call her up tonight or just wait and see if she calls me first then go from there? I know emotoinally she probably needs someone there also. If I dont call her then Im just like a one night stand guy treating her like sh!t, right???? If anyone wants to know we broke up cause of nothing to serious. give me your best inputs thanks.

Matt

Why don't you tell us what "nothing serious" actually is rather than act like its not a big deal because you hooked up again. Lots of AFC's (not saying your one but you could be) go back to ex's because they don't have any other options. Tell me exactly why you'd want to go back to her when there are thousands upon thousands of single girls waiting to meet you??

And I'm not going to answer your question until I find out why you guys broke up. Ex should stay ex's!!


PIMP

 

[Shiftkey]

If you want to get back with her, call her. If you don't, don't call her.

If you should get back with her....now that's another question. It's hard to say without knowing why you broke up, but I'm leaning towards no.

 

[blueangel83]

If you're a man call her.

If you're immature, don't call her.

 

[everywomanshero]

Got some poon

Getting poon is a good thing provided it doesn't result in paying child support or alimoney.


Look if you want my advice stop worrying about all this Wizard of OZ, Voodoo, Horsecrap. If you feel like calling her do-it, otherwise don't. How she responds will more likely be based on how many other options she has and the value she see's you as possesing relative to them. I don't think whether or not you call will be a factor since the window of opportunity is different all the time. In some cases you could call too soon, in others too late, and you'd be following the exact same advice.

The thing you need to keep in mind is the average woman gets a lot more sex than the average guy. Be the non-average guy in a good way. Be the guy who gets a lot of poon. No one woman really matters that much when you see the world for what it really is.

 

[MattS]

A couple of reasons

1. We both needed space we were living together

2. Shes finishing up grad school this semester and needs to teach her biology class twice a week so minimize distractions. Hence number 1

3. Her dumb friend gave her reason number 2

Other than that everything is good most of the time. We always talk about how we get along with each other and she always till this day tells me in the coolest guy she has ever known. All i know is if i cut her out totally she would be devastated.

I do understand why she would bring it up. But some of her rationals to do it didnt make sense probably just made it easier for her to do it. When she started saying whatever she was saying give me some time I need to concentrate right now cause I can't fvck up anything and school is #1 at first i didnt know what to do. Girls are scared of things nothing guys can do about it. but she kept saying that she was willing to try to work it out by us just seeing each other on the weekeneds. But then I lost my job very shortly after so actually i had no choice but to move out cause there were barely any good jobs up there. I moved down here (45 min away and should get a good job already have some good interviews lined up. Basically we had it planned that after she was done she would move to the city (where I am) to get a job cause there are plenty of companies for her field

 

[MattS]

If I do call her dont i look like a needy basta*d? Dont girls call up guys usually after they fvck em to have the relationship and guys just call them to fvck at 2 am? I dont know its probably different when a LTR has happened

 

[BuckwildNYC]

I say don't call her. Think of all the time and effort you put into trying to get laid by her. Well you got what you wanted. Now it's her turn put in some work. After you get the ass it's amazing how that pendulum of power totally swings in your direction lol.

Just think of all the girls that rejected you........... all the ones who flaked on you.........all the ones who made you wait months for some pusssy and then think if u still want to call her and do the "right" thing. I know I sound like a bitter fukk but we don't get many oppurtunities to be the one on top..............enjoy them when they come.

 

[blinkwatt]

This sounds like a lesson you should learn on your own because no one can give you a TRUELY right answer. The TRUE right answer if what you want to do.

 

[nishbuk]

There are two things in this game you can't learn from reading. However, you can THINK that you understand them when you read about them, but you don't...not until they happen to you.

These things are:

1) Being dumped after a serious relationship for the first time.

2) Thinking that you understand the reasons that ex's should stay ex's, but you think that it's 'different' in your situation, so you do it anyway.

Your problem fails under number two. I can't tell for sure, but by the way you are writing your posts, I would say that you are going to get seriously AFC hurt when you call her, if you start going out again.

 

[Tomatoes]

I wouldnt call her. She has been with you before...she knows you. Therefore whether you are doing a one nighter or whether you wanna get back together....she prob already knows. I would leave it...let her ring you.

 

[GropeDope]

I'm not addressing his ex-gf problem here because I don't know the terms of their relationship and really don't give a sh!t about it either.

Calling a girl you've only known for a little bit that you've banged for the first time is another story. It depends on the situation, her personality, and how hot she is. Most of you already know the rules to this basic logic sh!t so this is a pointless post I'm making here, but for people like Matt who don't...

Unless she is a real sweet heart and isn't the type of chick who tries to countergame your game (very rare), don't call her for a few days. A lot of b!tches like to test you and see if they've "got you" right after giving it up. If she ends up calling me, I tell her I'm too busy for at least two or three days before we meet up again so that she's craving me and realizes she isn't the center of my world all of a sudden just because she gave me some a$$. Also, the hotter she is, the longer you have to make her wait. (You can figure out why.)

Exceptions to all of this are when she is literally begging for the d!ck over the phone...or when she actually drives over without telling you she's coming by, and throws herself at you. How you react in those circumstances is completely up to you.

Keep in mind that there's a HUGE difference between the ones ACTING like they are offended by you not calling them (which is the case 90% of the time), and the ones that get SERIOUSLY offended. You should be able to figure out WAY BEFORE you've banged her which part of the spectrum she falls into, but 9 times out of 10 you're better off giving her a chase.

By the way, this is not a question of maturity vs immaturity. This is the way hoes work. Less is always more for them. It may be pathetic, but it's a necessary evil if you want to keep her interested.

 

[MattS]

well i called her cause i dont want her to think im a d1ck cause i know she would appreciate it that im not like that to her. I know i have to be one to keep her interested but im not like that atleast not anymore. She was happy i called cause she gave me an ear full of her how hard life is bull sh!t. She said ill talk to you tomorrow i dont know if she called or not cause my phone is off but if she calls she calls. Im not going to call her anymore until she calls.

 

[everywomanshero]

Why it doesn't matter

Getting sex is easy. I've fclosed a lot of women this year already. The majority of fcloses become ONSs. The idea that women are all out there waiting for a guy to commit is insane. THere is no demand for guys ready to commit, the supply is way too high.

The demand is for more skilled players.

 

[BrotherAP]

I hooked up with my ex, and at first I thought it was just something to tide me over because I was drunk and horny that night. So the next day I didn't call her, even though I thought about her all day I figured I didn't want to get back together so I might as well wait to see if she even bothers to call me and then I could tell her what was up even though I suspected she knew already. As the day wore on though, I let myself get caught up in what we used to have, and thought maybe I should give it another shot. I decided that if she wanted to, I'd do it (in spite of knowing I shouldn't) and got ready to talk to her.

The next day I called her, and she was the first to breach the subject. She said "I think we've both moved on... and it'd be best if we just admitted that and went on with our own lives." I was disappointed to a degree, but I realized that I had been thinking the same thing for 8 months and one little weekend of sex wasn't going to change the fact that she was right, it was well past time that we gave up on the pipe dream so I simply agreed with her. She sounded relieved that I didn't raise a fuss, and that was the end of it - or so I thought.

About a month later she called me to tell me that she wants another chance. I told her how I almost gave her one after the weekend, and you know what she tells me?

She told me at the time that she didn't think it was a good idea because she figured that I didn't want it, and she thought I'd feel pressured into it if she didn't just let me off the hook. How did she arrive at this conclusion?

I didn't call the next day.

(for the record, i'm glad I didn't... but if getting back together was what I wanted I shot myself in the foot)