CaliLove Needs some help (My first question on the boards)

[California Love]

Sup guys,

About a month ago I started up a relationship with a good girl. She is korean, I am chinese. We've been taking it slow, our chemistry is very good, and we communicate to each other. She is affectionate and will often initiate touching/play tickling. However, there are some things I'm having difficulty reading.

1. She is obviously more comfortable around her female friends. I have absolutely no problem with this, because I can be intimidating and she is intrinsically shy. However, I have not dealt with many shy girls, and I'd like to know how what you guys do to break down the barrier.

2. Intellectually, its hard for us to connect, and to add to that, our culture has its differences. She is intelligent and very people-smart, but it is hard for me to talk to her deeply about school subjects, philosophy, politics, and anything over-the-top from daily casual conversation. I've definitely toned down the kinds of things I mention. However, I need some tips on dealing with this kind of girl. I feel much more bonded whenever I have a truly meaningful conversation with a girl, and I would like to share that experience with her.


Here's a pic of us-

http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=6&f=dsc02123copy.jpg


Appreciatively,
-California Love

 

[Mack Bishop]

talk about sex

 

[AFK Protector]

Define "truly meaningful conversation."

Btw, I'd shag both of you in a second.

 

[California Love]

Originally posted by AFK Protector
Define "truly meaningful conversation."

Btw, I'd shag both of you in a second.

HAHAHA im flattered My definition is a truly heart-stirring convo - those kind that last for hours and totally saturate the mind and soul. They are the ones where you feel complete and full afterwards. I used to have a few with other female acquaintances, often on the topic of relationships, male-female interactions, life and the restraints of culture, future ambitions and the such.


To Mack Bishop, I'm already making way too many sexual innuendos and jokes. I also grab her butt every now and then, just for fun. I don't want it to get too heated yet.

 

[AFK Protector]

Well, some girls (and guys) don't really have much to say about those topics because they're so deep and require so much thought. I'm not calling her dumb, but perhaps she's never considered it before. You just listed like 6 topics. Don't group them all into 1. Just try to start a convo on a ride or dinner at your house or something using one of those topics, e.g. future ambitions.

Now, she's gotta have future ambitions and if not, you can throw in C&F like, "hey what future ambitions do you have, well besides trying to get me into bed." I'm not an expert with conversation in real life, but digitally, I think I'm ok. In real life, I kinda lose that spark and really don't feel like talking to that person. She could be one of those people.

A good thing is, that your cultures are different. I'm Chinese too, but I dunno jack squat about Japan besides like chem nuking China in WWII and some Pokemon stuff. Anyways, I met a Japanese girl and although I've never had a girlfriend, we talked and I asked and learned a lot about how they are in JApan and how no one there speaks English contrary to popular belief. Since she is Korean, why not break that cultural barrier using a "deep convo?" Ask her about it and what she likes etc. (report her if she says nukes). And if you do succeed, just say at the end something like, "well I enjoyed that. I feel like I know you a lot better now blah blah <insert stuff to make her want another convo here>" etc/

Good luck, and thanks for helping me out in the past. I never knew you were Chinese.....

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by California Love
2. Intellectually, its hard for us to connect, and to add to that, our culture has its differences. She is intelligent and very people-smart, but it is hard for me to talk to her deeply about school subjects, philosophy, politics, and anything over-the-top from daily casual conversation. I've definitely toned down the kinds of things I mention. However, I need some tips on dealing with this kind of girl. I feel much more bonded whenever I have a truly meaningful conversation with a girl, and I would like to share that experience with her.

Is she INHIBITED about having deep conversation with you? Or is she INCAPABLE of it? There's a difference.

In the former case, you just need to get her comfortable with you. Bring her up to your level...get her comfortable in YOUR world. If she didnt' want to be a part of it, she wouldn't be hanging with you.

If she's INCAPABLE of having deep conversation...well then maybe you want to consider if she really IS the "right one" for an LTR.

 

[DJ_Dork]

she's not into you, trust me on this.

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
she's not into you, trust me on this.

HOW CAN YOU NOT BE INTO THAT SEXAY THANG!!?! I'm fvckin straight and I'm into him.

that wasn't meant to freak you out or anything lol.

 

[California Love]

I really appreciate the help Afk Protector and Squirrels. This relationship is important to me because I've found a girl whom I can provide a LTR with. In the past, I've already screwed around with relationships, not making any progress beyond intimacy and a few weeks/months of unhindered fun. To DJ_Dork, she is very sincere and very loyal.


I should probably elaborate more on the differences we have. I attend an extremely expensive private school right now. My family is not rich, but I'm currently immersed in a society of rich, "erudite" people and quality "education." Our family incomes are similar, but she attends a rather bad public school. We are recieving completely different levels of education at the moment. This may account for the disparity.

I followed AFK Protector's advice and talked about future ambitions, goals in life, and the such. She wants to be a designer and have a healthy family. She is the type that likes stability and simplicity. I commended her on her good "common-sense" and overall, made her feel good about her goals.


Your advice means a lot to me. Thanks for the time.

-California Love


A slightly older pic

http://fapomatic.com/6/dsc02078.jpg

 

[AFK Protector]

Well, as long as you're sure she's good LTR material. Because I go to a relatively good public school, but there are so many girls that screw around. Most of the asians don't though....

.....but then agian, I'm the guy who found out that three girls in my advisory room put out to anyone if you ask...like 2 years after everyone else found out. :\

 

[California Love]

Originally posted by AFK Protector
Well, as long as you're sure she's good LTR material. Because I go to a relatively good public school, but there are so many girls that screw around. Most of the asians don't though....

.....but then agian, I'm the guy who found out that three girls in my advisory room put out to anyone if you ask...like 2 years after everyone else found out. :\

She's not the best for a LTR, but then again, I'm kinda picky when it comes to this stuff. It should work out fine though.

Yea, it kinda sucks how some girls put out like crazy, but circumstances just prevent you from getting some pootang.

BTW, I'm still open to ideas and advice. Everything and anything helps greatly.

-California Love

 

[California Love]

come on bros!