CadillacCTS’ Approach Journal (117 Approaches)

[CadillacCTS]

I just have to do this... I have to commit to an approach journal or else I will never make any progress and so here I am. When I was 17 years old (I’m 20 right now BTW) I came across this site, and I'd like to think that I know better now but the truth is I haven’t changed all that much. I’ve spent countless hours reading and I thought I knew it all, I was preaching left and right, but you know what? When it came to the approaches, I punked out. I can only read so much and I realize the real learning happens out on the field. I’ve been reluctant to accept this because it would mean that I have to face one of my greatest fears. I’ve made clever intricate excuses to myself to avoid this, to keep this postponed … but f*ck it, I am going to commit to this and have you as my witness.

Right now my gut is telling me “don’t do this”… Don’t commit to this unless I’m absolutely sure that I can do this, but you know what? I don’t know if I can do it, I’m not sure at all, still at the very least, I have to try. I always spent my life analyzing, rationalizing and overthinking but all that doesn’t matter if I don’t act. By doing an approach journal, I will be forced to act, forced to go out there and face my fears and I want you to give me hell if I don’t.

So who am I? I’m a guy who made some bad choices in life, in particular with my social life. I remember the first day I went to school when I was around six years old… I chose to sit at an empty table when I had the choice to sit with others. This was symbolic of how I approached social situations for the rest of my life; I chose to isolate myself because I was afraid of rejection. Gradually I have eased up to social situations, but I think I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and I’m not completely comfortable in social situations. As for approaching and flirting with girls, I am at square one, I have very little experience and I have never really went after it, I just sort of gave up and went on with my isolated life, that is of course… until now.

What do I look like? I’d say I am an average looking guy, but I always been insecure about my looks, somehow I have this crazy idea that I have to look like a model for girls to like me. When I dress well and have a good hair cut, I been told that I am cute or good looking, so it’s my personality that is holding me back. I’m about 5’8” and with my air force 1’s I come close to 5’9”. I was born in Sri Lanka, which is a small island southeast of the southern tip of India, ignorant people tend to think I’m Indian and associate me with negative Indian stereotypes, and it’s just one of those challenges that I have to contend with. Right now I live in Toronto. My style used to be athletic sweatpants, sportswear (Addidas, Nike etc.) Then I transitioned to more of a hip-hop influenced style (Roca Wear, Sean John etc.) and now I have a casual clean cut and approachable style.

My goal with this approach journal is to do 117 approaches, just to up the ante a bit. The reason why I’m doing this is to overcome my fears, to give the finger to my fears and tell it to f*ck off. I have been inspired by those who did this before me… Pugsley, h2o and more recently Jayer and I hope to pay it forward by inspiring others.

CadillacCTS

 

[CadillacCTS]

A few days ago I ordered a pair of air force 1 / white on white / low cut on eBay, and since i wasn't at my house yesterday they left me note saying come pick it up at the post office. I live near the post office (which is in mall) so I figure this would be a good oppertunity to get started.

I as get out the door (I live in a condo) I run into my neighbour, she is a blonde about HB8, she holds the elevator for me... I smile and I get in..

Me: So, How are you? (Playful tone)
Her: I'm fine, yourself? (Smiling)
Me: Good, good!
Her: That's a cute shirt! (She looks at my shirt which I bought yesterday, it's a pretty rad tee from guess)
Me: Thanks (I give a smirk)

* We get to the lobby...

Me: See you later!
Her: Bye

I'm not going to count this as an approach because it's just small talk with neighbours but it was a good way to kick it off..

Now the bad news...

I didn't do any cold approaches. I was at a department store and I saw pretty cute asian girl, HB8. She was walking around so I thought I wait and see where she was going.. but I lost track of her so that was a flop. When I was going out of the store I came across a another HB8 again walking in my direction, I thought of saying 'hey' but opted out, damn another flop! so yea... over ten years of past anxiety is holding me back, but I gotta keep at it... I'm gonna go out again, this time I'm going to downtown Toronto for the just for laughs comedy weekend, hopefully I won't punk out, I'll report when I come back.

Cold Approaches: 0

 

[CadillacCTS]

I gotta say… I’m completely under-whelmed by the support that I’m getting from this board so far, come on guys give me some support! :rockon:

Anyways like I said before I went downtown to the Just for Laughs Comedy Weekend. I can think of at least three decent opportunities I had to make an approach, but I didn’t. I just felt awkward walking up to strangers and talking to them. Also when I’m walking down the street and I see someone coming my way, I don’t know how to initiate a convo when her and I are walking in different directions.

I think I need a better spot to do my approaches, today was good but most of them are with their friends and it’s harder to tackle a group. I might hit up a bookstore like Chapters or Indigo like what Pugs did… maybe that’s a better spot to meet single females. I also live near one of Toronto’s biggest libraries (North York Central) I’ll go check that out tomorrow.

What do you guys think? Where else should I hit to do my approaches?

 

[ValleyDJing]

Tell you what bro. Don't be like seemingly every other dude who does these "Approach Journals" in here. If you're gonna go out there and cold approach, GAME on these girls! "Whoa ValleyDjing! What do you mean by that?"

Don't use the generic, "Hey I just saw you over here and thought you were cute" line. 99% of the time it gets you nothing more than a "Thanks! *insert generic bulls.hit conversation* See you later!" or something similarly brief and pointless. But if you're going to do that, for God's sake, number close! Don't come back here and type out a script of your conversation and end it with, I decided to eject, a.k.a. not number close, because: the sky was blue, or the grass was green, or my personal favorite, "I just wasn't feeling her." If you're not gonna # close, grab her boobs, slap her ass, insult her; Do something to keep us entertained when we're reading through hundreds of approaches that read exactly the same, except you change "HB7 blonde" to "HB 8.5 Brunette".

Basically, what I'm begging you to do is, make this interesting. Game the girl, get some numbers (and follow them up), don't talk about the same s.hit you might talk about with that fat, bald man in the grocery store line, or your old as dirt grandma. Please.

With that being said, get out there, have fun and good luck.

 

[jrodbendi]

All power to you, man. I'm 17, in the same boat as you were at that age. Still trying to overcome the irrational fear holding me back.

 

[On Point]

Well, your journal is a bit underwhelming as well. "I could've approached. I didn't". Rinse repeat.

Now don't get me wrong brother, I'm behind ya. But get at it.

Maybe try somewhere that woman are stationary for a bit. Go to a park with benches.

I gotta say… I’m completely under-whelmed by the support that I’m getting from this board so far, come on guys give me some support! :rockon:

What do you guys think? Where else should I hit to do my approaches?

 

[CadillacCTS]

Tell you what bro. Don't be like seemingly every other dude who does these "Approach Journals" in here. If you're gonna go out there and cold approach, GAME on these girls! "Whoa ValleyDjing! What do you mean by that?"

Yea.. you got a point there... I need to be more agressive in order to get numbers, but keep in mind the main reason I'm doing this is to get over my fears, to prove to myself that I have the ulimate say on what I do with my life not my fears. With that being said.. of course I want mack on girls!:woo:

All power to you, man. I'm 17, in the same boat as you were at that age. Still trying to overcome the irrational fear holding me back.

I appriciate the support. When I finally pull through with this I hope it will motivate others to face their fears

Well, your journal is a bit underwhelming as well. "I could've approached. I didn't". Rinse repeat.

Your right, I haven't made any approaches yet, but I'm trying, it's not something I can explain rationally because my fears are completely irrational.. and this is the first time I'm doing something like this (it's completely out of my character). Nobody's perfect, and it's unreasonable to expect me to get like 10 numbers on my first field day..

However I did ask this board to put the pressure on me and that is exactly what your doing, so keep doing that...

 

[On Point]

I hear you. Getting past all your fear and anxiety is way harder than actually having a conversation with a girl. You just have to make that first step.

Here's the thing though. You can wake up tomorrow, and decide "Today, no matter what, I'm going to have a conversation with a girl. I don't know what will happen, but tonight when I go to bed, I'll have made progress." Just go out and get that one thing done. It doesn't matter if goes well or badly, you just have to do it.

Trust me, if you can do that it will only get easier. No one is expecting you to have instant success or #close 10 woman in one day. (Although you shouldn't assume that you couldn't)

Your right, I haven't made any approaches yet, but I'm trying, it's not something I can explain rationally because my fears are completely irrational.. and this is the first time I'm doing something like this (it's completely out of my character). Nobody's perfect, and it's unreasonable to expect me to get like 10 numbers on my first field day..

However I did ask this board to put the pressure on me and that is exactly what your doing, so keep doing that...

 

[Agent Zero]

Get yourself 1 canned line to commit to that first approach. It gets so much easier after approach 1 cause you realize there is nothing to worry about. I'm at 5 direct approaches in the last month now (not that great I admit), but not once has the girl been upset or rude. They all seem to have been flattered. Only 2 were single and I got 1 number. I just approached a girl today who I will probably even see again, but who cares. Like the commercial, you have to take life by the horns. The girl I just approached I see guys on the bus stare at her every day, but it feels good knowing I had the balls to approach her unlike all those other guys. Good luck, man.