"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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C&f.

Gubby

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All humour has a precept (except for puns and the like, which are just dumb anyway). They take a concept and then warp it into an exaggerated version. JUST warping reality gets you somewhere, but the best jokes have a base in a concept which we already feel. If you can take a fact which brings emotion to a person and exaggerate it into a comic version - a joke - you get laughs.

For instance, how many yanks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, one to hold the lighbulb and 99 to turn the house. The precept is that yanks are stupid.

It's hard to explain this -- but basically, the more the precept of the joke makes you feel something, the funnier the joke will be. Yanks probably won't find that joke funny, but brits will (in an alternate universe where we haven't already heard the joke 500 times). Think of all those stand up comedy acts where they just go on about airline food, and though they don't really bring up anything you're not expecting, it's funny. The precept is the universal experience of bad airline service. Because it's an experience with a lot of emotion involved, the comic can hook the audience. Ever heard the phrases "he tells it like it is" and "it's funny because it's true"?

David DeAngelo mentioned a quote from a book on comedy:
90% of the humour comes from the character and NOT the jokes.
The character becomes the precept of our humour.

So, you need to take the character which girls are looking for and make that your precept. What character would that be?

CONFIDENT - which, exaggerated, becomes ****Y.

And you can also take the precept of the situation between you and make it into humour: that she wants you so badly, and you're ambivalent.


The point of this is that the precepts made into humour is like a CONCENTRATED SHOT of these values - they come to view you as that confident person immediately and easily --in fact, somehow larger than life.


Okay, that's theory anyway. Sometimes it doesn't quite fit that mould, but it's a good starting point.



Part of C&F is teasing. I think this is the point when most people go wrong. The idea of teasing is to screw about with them - because you think it's cute when they're mad and you're confident enough to know she's not going to just slap you and leave if you show some personality. NOT to hurt their feelings or belittle them.

Think of kids on the playground calling each other names. It might be witty sometimes, but it still hurts them. The big bully is the guy with the big inferiority complex. He insults people to assure himself that he's better than them.

The ****y guy teases girls because it's fun to watch their little faces pout at him: he doesn't need proof to know he kicks ass. But the ****y guy is good at heart. He would never think of trying to belittle them.

Note the difference between "ego-pain" and anger. Ego-pain, I mean, from insults etc, scars. Anger, though, is GOOD. It's not pain. Though ego-pain and anger often go hand in hand, anger itself makes the blood rush and adrenaline flow, bringing aggression, making you feel powerful if nothing else, and makes the experience unforgettable. Yes. Something a little like lust. Anger is GOOD.

A little bit of fighting sets a relationship on fire. It's when the insults come out that people start hating each other.
Naturally that means not to go TOO far. It starts getting serious when you stop being funny. But so long as there is a spirit of playfulness about it and both of you know that it's not serious - it's teasing.


If you ever hit a sore spot with the teasing and she's hurt, you CAN apologise. Not "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" .. you can say, "hey, I was just screwing with you" in a slightly accusing tone. (You might not need her approval, but can still clear things up a little). Make it quick and you can forget about it quickly.

I think that a guy can still apologise. If you're going to be a DJ all the time and not just putting your face on to pick up girls, you'd have to just to get along in life. The point is that you only apologise when you MEAN it.


But I'm getting off track. ;)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ace of Flames

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this thread is half "what makes a joke funny" and half "the right way to use c&f". i like it.

i agree with everything here. and its true! i love seeing that face girls make after u've said something with c&f. its like, "omg i cant believe you just said that!!" then you just smile and they get you were joking. its a beautiful thing.
 

The Juan and only

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This is actually a pretty decent post. :up:

I think a lot of people read the bible/DYD/whatever and get the impression that you need to be rude to or even insult the woman you're macking - not the right idea at all....and especially not if they aren't that blonde bombshell some guys would call a 10.

because you think it's cute when they're mad and you're confident enough to know she's not going to just slap you and leave if you show some personality. NOT to hurt their feelings or belittle them
That pretty much sums it up.
 

phatboi408

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think a lot of people read the bible/DYD/whatever and get the impression that you need to be rude to or even insult the woman you're macking - not the right idea at all....and especially not if they aren't that blonde bombshell some guys would call a 10.
I got that perception and now Im trying to find a balance and that balance is a DJ.
Its hard to find the balance because I started of reading DYD before I found this site and he would talk about not being a nice guy but like a "jerk" and for me right now its hard to find a balance.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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It's in the presentation. You have to kinda soften them up before the C&F, disarming them. I for one, can't get the whole C&F thing down. Most HB's react like I'm a grade-A a$$hole when I try it. Too early.
I gotta stop with the neghits.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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