"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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c+f response to a HB Facebook chick?

big weezy

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Give me a good response to give to this HB facebook chick who's tryna friendzone/test me. She just gave me her number on facebok but finished the message with 'excellent you can be my language teacher!'

(she was in my homeland briefly last year and is interested in the language but i never actually suggested I would teach her anything, i just flirted with her on facebook in both english and my language)

any suggestions for a good response so that there's no misunderstanding why i'm calling her?

i was thinking something along the lines of 'ok i teach you spanish, you teach me kissing ;) haha' (however that may seem like im incompetent at kissing?) or 'your spanish seems ok-ish, i'll teach you kissing instead as well ;)' (but she may respond with 'im already advanced in kissing) She's a semi-model by the looks of it. Any other better suggestions so I'm not getting friend zoned? I got the number after 2 messages. the 1st was just in reference to her being in my homeland and a place i used to go to, and the 2nd was complimenting her in spanish and getting her to translate if she could) she responded with 'IM A PRETTY GIRL? YOU WANT TO MEET ME? lol thanks for the compliments'
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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bookman

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that's not the only thing I can teach you :p

edit: there are million ways you can respond to that
fo example:
1)what's in it for me?

2)my lessons don't come cheap

etc... something along these lines
 

big weezy

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if i start off with 'i rather be more than your language teacher.. ;)' is that coming from a low value position?
 

Kailex

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Don't say that. Don't say "I'd rather be more than your language teacher".

I actually like the "Lessons don't come cheap".
I've actually used that one when teaching women Spanish. But asking "I'd rather be more than your language teacher" gives her the position of power of making a decision as to whether or not you get a chance to be even more than a teacher.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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big weezy said:
if i start off with 'i rather be more than your language teacher.. ;)' is that coming from a low value position?
I dont know about low value position. It just sounds kinda creepy.

Like the other guy said, you just want to play around with her. Ask "What's in it for me?"

"Oh you want language lessons? Are you making me dinner?" That kind of thing. All that stuff about "kissing lessons"...I don't know, man. You might want to raise her interest levels a little bit before just trying to get her into bed.

You want to make her see you as a fun-loving, confident guy with a good sense of humor.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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big weezy

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I was thinking of saying this:

'hmm..what's in it for me? ;)
ok i teach u spanish, u teach me kissing ;) hahaha
(not that i need to be taught but u can never get too much practise... ;) lol)
tell u what, i'll take u out on a date and we'll have a great time with some stimulating conversation in both english and spanish.'


Is this ok? or am I still giving off the wrong image?

In the past I've met girls from facebook before and they seem to think we're meeting as friends which I want establish from the start we're not. Does the above message convey it ok or is it too try hard?
 

Iceberg

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big weezy said:
tell u what, i'll take u out on a date and we'll have a great time with some stimulating conversation in both english and spanish.
Well, that's definitely the least-creepy of the possible responses.

It sounds confident and mature. I'd say you'd score some extra points with some humor. But whatever...

I still hate that people do this stuff over facebook...but if it works for you, go for it. Computer dating with cut-and-paste responses just doesn't feel right to me.
 

big weezy

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Iceberg said:
Well, that's definitely the least-creepy of the possible responses.

It sounds confident and mature. I'd say you'd score some extra points with some humor. But whatever...

I still hate that people do this stuff over facebook...but if it works for you, go for it. Computer dating with cut-and-paste responses just doesn't feel right to me.
I think I meant for the whole thing i said in my last post to be the message as oppose to lining up them as individual responses. Does the whole thing seem a bit off to you in your opinion as in using the entire:


'hmm..what's in it for me?
ok i teach u spanish, u teach me kissing hahaha
(not that i need to be taught but u can never get too much practise... lol)
tell u what, i'll take u out on a date and we'll have a great time with some stimulating conversation in both english and spanish.'

is this ok?
 

bookman

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maybe it's better to keep it to one short sentence
short snappy intelligent, let her analyse a bit what it means :p
 

2crudedudes

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big weezy said:
I think I meant for the whole thing i said in my last post to be the message as oppose to lining up them as individual responses. Does the whole thing seem a bit off to you in your opinion as in using the entire:


'hmm..what's in it for me?
ok i teach u spanish, u teach me kissing hahaha
(not that i need to be taught but u can never get too much practise... lol)
tell u what, i'll take u out on a date and we'll have a great time with some stimulating conversation in both english and spanish.'

is this ok?
I'm not sure "teach me kissing" is the right thing to say. For one, you come off as if you don't know how to kiss. And you haven't exactly charmed her pants off YET, so it may sound a bit desperate.

Just my 2 cents.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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tafakna

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big weezy said:
i was thinking something along the lines of 'ok i teach you spanish, you teach me kissing ;) haha' (however that may seem like im incompetent at kissing?)
Go with 'Ok I teach you Spanish, you teach me to dance salsa'... Not only it sounds better, but it also assures that this time no latin lover is going to steal your platonic girlfriends...
 

chiefoverlord

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OK you said she gave you her number _but_ then she said 'you can be my language teacher' - as if you thought that was a bad thing, like she's trying to friendzone you.

Haven't you ever heard things like this being used as code? As in, "come over to my house, so we can _study_"

She probably thought she was flirting. Which seems obvious to me.

You shouldn't even respond to the message. How about just using the number she gave you?

Phone her and say 'hey, wanna go see a movie?' If she says no say 'what do you wanna do then?' if she doesn't want to do anything then hang up and forget she exists.
 

KingofHearts

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i feel like i'm missing something here... she gave her number right? call her! But if you're having trouble figuring out a one liner, then how are you going to hold a conversation?

I'm beginning to realize that for many people that are struggling here for long periods of time - the problem is not with women or getting laid, its with social anxiety. Its about low self-esteem. Or following social conventions that don't really exist like "women should be treated as princesses".

If you're having social problems in general, then going after women is skipping a few steps in your development. What would your facebook message be to a platonic friend that is a girl? Learn how to get along with your friends and make them feel good. Earn their respect. Then strike up conversations with strangers. Then with women close to your age. Then with attactive women that you want to date. There's more steps to it than that but you get the point.

If you actually focus on it, then getting socially adjusted probably takes about 6 months to really get down. Then another 6 months to make it a habit. In less then a year, you could be a completely changed man. Then you have the rest of your life to chase women if you like. But my guess is that if you really make a big change within yourself, then you won't even want to waste time chasing girls. They will come after you.
 
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