C+F Banter to Nothing.... HELP!

[Bussey]

Ok, here's some background stuff.

This girl was my waitress once, like two weeks before my second College semester started. I was completely c+f and teased her that the service was terrible and she was hitting on me all night.

By complete coincidence... shes in my program and this semester shes in one of my classes. Anyway, it left for a good re-opener, and we hit it off right away.
She added me to her msn, and all of our conversations for the first 4 weeks were just line after line of playful teasing.

We started hanging out more, and slowly, she stopped coming up with teasing lines, and became quiet when I'd say something C+F. So I took a step back, and then she took another step back.

Our conversations now aren't c+f, because she is going thru a rough time. I did some c+f with her best friend, which she loves. So the girl I like kinda tried to get more attention from me.

My problem is, how do I get back to the c+f with her! There used to be so much fun sexual tension, now its changed to her always having something wrong, and I've offered to help one to many times (she keeps saying its ok).

I've asked her out already, and she said for sure after midterms, and she was really into me, before these problems...


Help Me!

 

[belividere]

continue to add tension and the situation will eventually fail. You seem to be hesitating. When was it that you asked her out?

 

[frivolousz21]

you need to practice this...no one is really naturally this way.

but some people are extroverted..and it helps..for instance..I was brought for a few yrs in a bar from age 10 to 12...I learned alot of street talk there. not that kids should be there

also I got fat..so I was the shorter fat kid so I had to be funny to get more attention..from 12 to 16 I was ****y and funny..then i got thin..and the ladies wanted me..now its the same.


but practice and u can do it with anyone..

rough time? when I know women going threw rough times..i show them a little tough love!

but practice and practice

 

[Bussey]

No this has nothing to do with ****y and funny, I'm actually very good at that. But the girl has gone from happy and receptive to depressed and shes just not the same way. None of that is my fault, shes haveing problems with her family and her ex and one of her friends.

Its not the C+F thats the problem its that shes not caring about it anymore. Like shes trying to shelter herself from everyone...

I've been getting other chicks phone numbers, but this girl is exactly what I want, she fits all my criteria.... well before she had these problems.

 

[Bussey]

Originally posted by belividere
continue to add tension and the situation will eventually fail. You seem to be hesitating. When was it that you asked her out?

I asked her out on Monday, midterms are all this week, then we haev study break, and then we both have two more exams the following week.

 

[frivolousz21]

if she has these probems..and she isnt being the girl u want?

then is she the girl u want?

 

[Bussey]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
if she has these probems..and she isnt being the girl u want?

then is she the girl u want?

She has these problems right now. She didn't before. She was the girl I wanted before... but she's still the same deep down... we all go through rough times.

So what I need to knwo, is do I give her space? Do I ask her out for study break, to study for our class, Do I move on...

I've never had a problem with a girl, usually if she gets all emotional I just shut the door. This ones different tho.... I dunno maybe I'm just losing my edge haha

 

[belividere]

what I meant to say is that you had a very long period of flirting and it sounds like you never tried to close the deal. I used to do the same thing all the time. I would open well flirt like crazy for a couple of weeks and then suddenly the girl would drop interest. I would say that it is do or die for you right now. Let her know that you want her by acting on it.

 

[frivolousz21]

oh I missed that part!

time to seal the deal...

that was way to long...u should of asked her out the 1st time u talked to her

 

[Bussey]

Actually first time I talked to her... at school anyway... I asked for her number and e-mail, she gave me both, and I said we should grab some coffee sometime. She said sure, I said in a week, cause I was really busy. She said OK, then when the day came, we both had big projects due, so we decided to wait. And of course that took me to Monday....

Anyway, I'm just going to move on. I saw her today, but when I talked to her, I just completely lost interest. She was laughing and htiting me, but she was doing it with everyone... so I just decided she's not worth the huge time commitment...

 

[tmpgstx]

She's an AW - had simliar situation - complete waste of time.

 

[squirrels]

You teased her for 4 weeks on MSN without making good.

She lost interest.

You can't generate much sexual tension over IP, buddy. Next time make a move while the iron's hot. She got bored of waiting and tired of your inaction.

 

[Bussey]

Originally posted by squirrels
You teased her for 4 weeks on MSN without making good.

She lost interest.

You can't generate much sexual tension over IP, buddy. Next time make a move while the iron's hot. She got bored of waiting and tired of your inaction.

No bro, I rarely talked to her on MSN, cuz i didnt want that to happen.. I've read the bible a few times, and David DeAngelos books, I know what I'm doing. And there was action, I tried 3 times, and i had the kino going whenever I saw her, her laughin, neg hits...

Seriously, thats what made this chick soo interesting to me, all the rules of c+f, kino, everything.... And i've pulled it all off with other chicks, but this chick... just didnt work on her, and i didnt change anything then what i normally did with other chicks that I've been successful with....

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Originally posted by Bussey
No bro, I rarely talked to her on MSN, cuz i didnt want that to happen.. I've read the bible a few times, and David DeAngelos books, I know what I'm doing. And there was action, I tried 3 times, and i had the kino going whenever I saw her, her laughin, neg hits...

Seriously, thats what made this chick soo interesting to me, all the rules of c+f, kino, everything.... And i've pulled it all off with other chicks, but this chick... just didnt work on her, and i didnt change anything then what i normally did with other chicks that I've been successful with....

Actually Squirrels is right, you can't just fire one liner after one liner and expect a chick to be more than attracted to you. You gotta change gears and get some rapport. Show her your sensitive side (or at least the side that shows that you're aren't this dude who turns everything into a joke)

C&F builds attraction which makes her think about you and shows you have personality
Rapport builds a bond between the two of you and creates a kind of chemistry that maker her fall in love pretty much

With party chicks you need more C&F with quiet chicks you need more Rapport. This stuff is pretty basic man.

 

[Bussey]

Originally posted by Microphone Fiend
Actually Squirrels is right, you can't just fire one liner after one liner and expect a chick to be more than attracted to you. You gotta change gears and get some rapport. Show her your sensitive side (or at least the side that shows that you're aren't this dude who turns everything into a joke)

C&F builds attraction which makes her think about you and shows you have personality
Rapport builds a bond between the two of you and creates a kind of chemistry that maker her fall in love pretty much

With party chicks you need more C&F with quiet chicks you need more Rapport. This stuff is pretty basic man.

True enough, and I was 'sensitive' when it seemed appropriate, but it was a lof of fun, going head to head, learned a lot!... Its ok though, I'm over her now haha. Found out most of her friends are guys, and she is an AW. I don't really get jealous, but I like being able to meet her female friends, and if things dont work out, I still have her friends haha.

Thanks guys, advice was great

 

[Microphone Fiend]

hmmm... is that really the thing to do? Is she coo with you going after her friends? BEcause if not, if you're over her, why are you gonna fvck her friends? Because she has a lot of male friends she is attention *****? Maybe she just doesn't get along well with gurls. I'm good friends with a gurl here who has mostly guy friends and at first i thought the same, and she went on trips to visit her guy friends and her supposed 'friends' who are girls talked sh!t about her being a ho as soon as she left. Don't judge a book by its cover

Did you think she was an attention ***** before hand, or before that poster suggested it in the post above?

And there is being sensitive and getting rapport, sorry ifi used that term in the last post. By getting rapport, I meant showing you guys have the same interests, are compatible and have chemisty, I didn't mean you serenaded her or anything

 

[Bussey]

No i'm not going after her firends. That was a hypothetiical statement.

She gets along fine with girls, she used to have lots of girl friends, but since she goes to college now, she just hangs out with guys.

And believe me dude, I didnt judge her. She wasn't at all what I thought she was like, I learned.

No I didn't think she was an attention whoere before that poster. Why? Becuase I have been away from this site for a bit, didnt really read anything about AW's. Today when she flirted with me, she flirted with all my friends too, as much as she did with me. And you should have seen this shirt... swear to god it was supposed to be lingerie....

We have very similar interests. I know... I'm going in circles here.

I have read the bible, DeAngelo's and a bunch of other stuff.. I understand what your talking about, I did it all. I've said this... I did everything I normally do with other girls, but nothing stuck. Maybe shes Lez and just likes teasing guys.

Watever, its cool, shes shown interest, I've shown interest, I've asked her out, shes had some excuses, I'm gonna follow up on some of my other leads. If she wants to try and make something happen, its in her court. I am not wasting any more time with it.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

u shudda told me u asked her out....kick that chick to the curb, lol.

but is she an attention ***** for dressing the way that garners attention from the opposite sex and talking to more than one guy? Sounds like a successful Don Juan if she was a guy

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Bussey
... None of that is my fault, shes having problems with her family and her ex and one of her friends....

Noone must have read this statement ..."problems with HER EX" HUH?? She is still attached to dude!!! Maybe if you would have moved earlier and quicker instead of establing rapport with her as a friend you could have nade an impact on her for her to forget about her ex!!

Next time move at a quicker pace - within a week ask her for her home digits!!!

 

[Bussey]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover

Next time move at a quicker pace - within a week ask her for her home digits!!!

I got her number first week.... I don't get it man, I did everything the same as I normally would. She just didn't respond like every other girl...