busted plate after dating profile update

[twelveightyone]

So first off this is my first post. I'm back at it after getting divorced. so what's up guys!! I'm using online dating.

I had one plate going for about a month or so. I would normally just text her once a week and set a date. Last week I got busy and didn't text her and I also updated my profile. She unmatched me and is all pissed off because she didn't hear from me and I saw that I revamped my profile.

two questions:
1) Is a week too long to wait for contacting them? I'm guessing the issue is that I was contacting her once a week to meet up and then I stopped.
2) Is updating/revamping your profile a bad idea? I mean I know they can see it, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

tips and suggestions welcome. This was a learning experience for me and I'm on to the next one!!

 

[Willie Naylor]

So first off this is my first post. I'm back at it after getting divorced. so what's up guys!! I'm using online dating.

I had one plate going for about a month or so. I would normally just text her once a week and set a date. Last week I got busy and didn't text her and I also updated my profile. She unmatched me and is all pissed off because she didn't hear from me and I saw that I revamped my profile.

two questions:
1) Is a week too long to wait for contacting them? I'm guessing the issue is that I was contacting her once a week to meet up and then I stopped.
2) Is updating/revamping your profile a bad idea? I mean I know they can see it, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

tips and suggestions welcome. This was a learning experience for me and I'm on to the next one!!

You just focus on you. Don't worry about whether she sees your profile updates. She expect you to be exclusive after a month?

And, I think the sweet spot for communication with a plate is once every 2-3 days.

This girl needs a good talking to. Very directly, let her know that you two aren't exclusive, and that while you enjoy spending time with her, further hissy fits will get her tossed back onto the street.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

two questions:
1) Is a week too long to wait for contacting them? I'm guessing the issue is that I was contacting her once a week to meet up and then I stopped. - You contact whenever you feel like it and have the time. Period. If they don't like it, there's the door.
2) Is updating/revamping your profile a bad idea? I mean I know they can see it, but I didn't think it was a big deal. - I am not pro OLD. But I know many guys are. To your question, no. You always want to experiment with what works vs doesn't. The usual A - B testing. Then you usually find what gets you the most matches and stick to that. Changing your profile should be based on that, not on whether your current matches will see it.

See answers in bold.

Modern Man Advice

 

[twelveightyone]

Your only mistake was apologising to her.

And I know you apologised to her because you're writing as if you did something wrong. You didn't. She's likely spinning plates herself, especially if she's happy only seeing you once a week.

No, I didn't apologize because I did nothing wrong. I learned a long time ago to never apologize unless you do something truly wrong.

I felt disappointed about it, but it's a lesson to learn. The takeaway for me is that the combination of not contacting her all week along with revamping my profile created the feeling of resentment in her. Once this happens it's very hard to undo it.

I just post it here to get feedback from the others and share my experience to try to help people.

 

[Bigpapa]

The problem is that you treated her as a plate , even if you did not truly see her this way

like Jay - Z says , “ the issue is thst you treat the ones you love with the same respect as the ones you hump “

if you do not want only To plate her , then do not treat her 100% as a plate . Go like 60%

 

[twelveightyone]

if you do not want only To plate her , then do not treat her 100% as a plate . Go like 60%

I'm not following that. can you be more specific?

 

[Bigpapa]

I'm not following that. can you be more specific?

do not treat someone that you like as you would treat a girl That you only like as a plate

 

[derby1]

I would normally just text her once a week and set a date. Last week I got busy and didn't text her and I also updated my profile. She unmatched me and is all pissed off because she didn't hear from me and I saw that I revamped my profile.

The mistake you made was contacting her once a week, this is PUA stuff from 1999

most women once you have sex with them will want to communicate with you everyday, you ofcourse keep the DM sessions low and light. but leaving it a week just looks like game playing to these neurotic hoes.

do not underestimate how neurotic they are. the slightest thing in her mind looks disingenuous

 

[SargeMaximus]

What I do is try to get to text or kik or some other medium after it’s clear we are both into each other. Get off the apps asap

 

[twelveightyone]

What I do is try to get to text or kik or some other medium after it’s clear we are both into each other. Get off the apps asap

Agreed on getting off the app as soon as you exchange phone numbers. However once you do that she'll still show as a match on the app (at least on Bumble anyway).

 

[SargeMaximus]

Agreed on getting off the app as soon as you exchange phone numbers. However once you do that she'll still show as a match on the app (at least on Bumble anyway).

I usually block them afterwards

 

[Mazer]

A woman with high interest will not wait for you to text her. She will send you a message asking you how your day is going or refer back to something you both talked about on your previous dates. Good luck

 

[Glassguy]

The phone works both ways. Your job is the set up the next date, which you did.
I'm not saying that I never initiate with text, because I do. But any woman with high interest level that doesn't have mental issues will text you every 4-6 hours after meeting several times.
And then you respond to the texts you choose to respond to.

 

[BadBoy89]

So first off this is my first post. I'm back at it after getting divorced. so what's up guys!! I'm using online dating.

I had one plate going for about a month or so. I would normally just text her once a week and set a date. Last week I got busy and didn't text her and I also updated my profile. She unmatched me and is all pissed off because she didn't hear from me and I saw that I revamped my profile.

two questions:
1) Is a week too long to wait for contacting them? I'm guessing the issue is that I was contacting her once a week to meet up and then I stopped.

You answered your own question. Once the consistency changes, all bets are off.

2) Is updating/revamping your profile a bad idea? I mean I know they can see it, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

If a girl you liked and had sex with changed her profile, would you care?

 

[twelveightyone]

If a girl you liked and had sex with changed her profile, would you care?

yup. I think I see the problem now, but at the time I had no idea.

Live and learn!