Guys just bumped a couple of times in my ex in the last days (she's a coworker of mine), check this out. I got over my oneitis for her after 4 crazy months and i'm happy and positive, I'm keeping moving forward quickly and recklessly, hitting the gym, making new friend. It happens that when i greet her (i'm a polite guy) she doesn't respond or, if we're walking in the same corridor, she doesn't stop to greet me or interact with me. It's like she's butthurt, she also avoid any contact, she looks down and no eye contact. I went NC for a couple of months and no doubt I look happy, powerful and "alpha". I don't want to over-analyse, i don't give a ****, but why is she acting that way? I cut her off completely and didn't answered some texts, I withdraw attention and didn't initiate any conversation. Now, I'm frendly and she's butthurt?
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bumped into my ex.. is she butthurt?
- Thread starter joker79
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Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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Not trying to be jack@ss, but it really irks me when people use the word 'butthurt'. Homosexual slang has no place in normal conversations between normal people. Besides, I'm pretty sure that it has been officially trademarked by our resident troll Gaylan.
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Are you really over her? Wouldn't you otherwise totally not care and not ask it here?
Not being rude, but if I would be in your position, I guess I would only ask since I do have some sort of unresolved feelings. And to be honest, I'm in your position, I still wonder why she act this way or that way towards me...
Not being rude, but if I would be in your position, I guess I would only ask since I do have some sort of unresolved feelings. And to be honest, I'm in your position, I still wonder why she act this way or that way towards me...
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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Obviously, she's upset by the fact that you were giving her the silent treatment for two months. Not saying you were wrong to go NC, but you shouldn't be surprised that she's not happy about it. When you go NC, you are pretty much burning all bridges. But sometimes that's only way.joker79 said:
@ Saywhat: You're right but the NC period was so painful and challenging that it changed something in me. I went from "I need to know what she thinks and use my logic to solve the situation" to "I don't give a ****, if she comes back i'm happy to listen to her, if not, well, it's her loss". I started to go intensely to the gym, making friends, investing money (and seeing it grow) and behave in a more "alpha" way. In one sentence, I come first. It helped me a lot. Anytime I see her, I admit it's difficult not to talk to her and act indifferent, but i take it as an exam for me, I want to check my reactions, whether i get upset or annoyed. If i think of her past behaviour and how deeply i suffered, then I'm not going to go through this again for sure. Apart for this curiosity about her behaviour now, she can go and date other man, I'm not wasting time chasing her.
Yeah dont feel bad about NC. Of course she's gonna be upset about it but who gives a fvck what she feels. You did it for you and now youre a better man. Let her pout. As a matter of fact I wouldn't even bother being friendly anymore.
instantnoodles
Don Juan
This is what I don't understand. Guys will play numerous text games and behaviour games, expecting you to react for their benefit and satisfaction. Then when they don't receive the expected reactions, they are shocked.
I experienced this a few days ago when the guy tried to offend me on purpose with his opinion on a sensitive topic (to me) and he very well knew it. Then I whipped the game in half, he backs into his shell, clearly taking it as a sign of rejection. I'm sensitive to his feelings but I don't tolerate games. Of course I felt bad (when I know I shouldn't have) and lured him out again by showing him that I still had a place for him in my heart. What can I do...
The way I smashed the game was probably quite harsh, but once you break it down using a rough move once, you can probably reach his head and won't have to again. I hope not.
Let me say this: I just wish to have a normal interaction with a guy for once; natural and free flowing. It's too much work for me to figure out the best reaction to something like this. It's exhausting - I have other things in my life that I must attend to such as school conflicts and so on. I will not lie; I got a headache after that momentum. Think of all that unecessary stress. So I'm trying my best to keep a smooth line for us too.
I really don't respond to games. I break them in two. I'm rigid and make sure to maintain the spine - but then I can still keep my feelings in check. It's great to have emotional balance. This is the best for the long run.
Never respond to games. Be alert and recognize the games. Never become a jellyfish.
I experienced this a few days ago when the guy tried to offend me on purpose with his opinion on a sensitive topic (to me) and he very well knew it. Then I whipped the game in half, he backs into his shell, clearly taking it as a sign of rejection. I'm sensitive to his feelings but I don't tolerate games. Of course I felt bad (when I know I shouldn't have) and lured him out again by showing him that I still had a place for him in my heart. What can I do...
The way I smashed the game was probably quite harsh, but once you break it down using a rough move once, you can probably reach his head and won't have to again. I hope not.
Let me say this: I just wish to have a normal interaction with a guy for once; natural and free flowing. It's too much work for me to figure out the best reaction to something like this. It's exhausting - I have other things in my life that I must attend to such as school conflicts and so on. I will not lie; I got a headache after that momentum. Think of all that unecessary stress. So I'm trying my best to keep a smooth line for us too.
I really don't respond to games. I break them in two. I'm rigid and make sure to maintain the spine - but then I can still keep my feelings in check. It's great to have emotional balance. This is the best for the long run.
Never respond to games. Be alert and recognize the games. Never become a jellyfish.
instantnoodles
Don Juan
Yes. Wants some?Social_Leper said:
Jk. Why you ask?
its because apparently women by and large react favorably to these games. while it would be nice to be able to be straight forward apparently that doesnt work. if being the nice straight forward person worked this site wouldnt exist.instantnoodles said:
i do agree 100% i'd prefer such BS was not neccessary. granted i can understand some of the things talked about on this site as good things....you know confidence, having your life together, the eye contact and some other stuff. but some of the other game things really are mind boggling as to why people report success with them.
the dont call the next day after you get her number....keep texts and convos to a minimum action dates, not showing you care, etc. some of it is a bit mind boggling as to why it works....but it seems to work for people so people do it.
its possible you are an exception to this rule(exceptions for all rules exist). so im not shocked someone is turned off by it. the other problem is what women say they want in a relationship and what they actually do are generally two different things. of course i could blame guys for being guilty of the exact same thing.....many here claim they want a good woman but then go after the one night stands.
i think the underlining problem is the rules of marriage and dating and relationships have basically been torn to shreds in the past 50 years and this merely the result of that. i think another problem with this site is the general attitude towards women is bit like that of someone i would suspect would be a wife beater and many guys here have 0 interest in starting family which again problematic of the entire relationship situation the sexes are in these days. mix that with the current divorce laws and relationships these days are looking more like a disaster than anything else
i also dont know what you mean by a "normal interaction"??? is this the lets try being friends first and see where it goes theory because if so about every poster here will laugh in your face for that. if not what do you mean???
so while i wish your premise was true the reality is it doesnt seem to work for most people....and certainly not for me if it did I wouldnt be here.
Forget Bokanofsky, he's often butthurt. Being butthurt about the term "butthurt" is the epitome of butthurtness.
OP, yes, women often get butthurt over breakups. It's obvious your ex is as butthurt as butthurt can be.
OP, yes, women often get butthurt over breakups. It's obvious your ex is as butthurt as butthurt can be.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
he wanted to see your angry and your disagreeinstantnoodles said:
some people take every disagreement as a personal attack and throw a fit, as if by saying that you don't think obama is the anti-christ was you calling their mother a dirty *****
and some people get angry and key your car or come at you with a weapon or hit their heads against the wall and call the cops on you for domestic abuse
and everyone else is who you should be dating.
instantnoodles
Don Juan
I can see your point, but this isn't the only move he has pulled. There are so many I can recall - "sh1t tests" (as they are called in SoSuave), text games, flake tests lol. He once told me his original view point on the issue and then now when he changed it to see my reaction, kinda disappointed me.devilkingx2 said:
Thank you for your response, you have good insight. Wish I made a thread instead of interrupting the topic flow.