Bumble match and date scenerio

[sazc]

That was what I was thinking. I would had also thought, if it was not true, she'd either not respond or would had said thanks, but no thanks, not say she'll reach out when she's better. Or am I reading this incorrectly?

So here's the thing, you can always adopt "outcome independence" and reach out to her in a few weeks, not caring what occurs.

Truth is that she is a stranger to you, so who really cares what she thinks?

On the flip side, of you do reach out, and she agrees to a date, you just need to resume/maintain initial frame with her. You can always choose to view/assume that, if you reach out and she's agreeing to see you, it's because she found you interesting and is attracted.

So, if you go "outcome independence" just make sure you maintain frame

 

[R.U.G.]

OP, not sure. She could be telling you the truth, or she could just being using you for attention. Give it 2 weeks, and just say hey, how are you feeling? See what she says, and then say, are you up for meeting up for a drink? That is it. Chances are she still has some interest or she just would had ghosted you or told you that she wasn't interested. Then again, I still do not like that she closed you out on Bumble. That's not a good sign, but her apologizing is. So, date other women, but reach out in two weeks.

 

[Mazer]

If I told her to reach out to me when she's better, doesn't it look bad that I'm chasing her two weeks from now? I guess she could be telling me the truth, as many people at work are also down with the flu, but IDK. I also would think she'd not respond so quickly and in detail if she was just pulling my arm. I am going to focus on others for the meantime, but not sure reaching out again when I put the ball in her court. I've been watching some of the videos on Youtube that you and others have linked here and they all say put it in her court and not chase. Lowers your value to hers.

I never ask twice if she doesn’t accept the first invite or counter but that’s because I have more women to invite out.

 

[MatureDJ]

“Hi younger women, it’s me from Bumble. We spoke Wednesday. How are you doing?”
“Not great. I think I’m coming down with a cold.”
“Oh that’s nice. Let’s meet Friday at the pub we both know.”
“Uh ok.”
“If anything changes, let me know. And feel better. Get rid of that nasty cold before we meet at the pub.”
“Uh Ok. See you then.”

Come on bro, really? ‘Coming down with a cold’ does not mean “I’m dying to give in to my Basic Instincts and have sex with you as soon as possible.”

I would have just said “Oh, ok, I wanted to meet you for a drink this week but let’s arrange another time when you feel better.”

You already asked for a drink and she said “absolutely” to the drink. Now by saying she has a cold, she has given herself an out. Don’t give her that opportunity. Leave the ball in her court to counter when she is feeling 100% and wants to meet you.

I'd tell her to contact me when she's feeling better. Then, IF she does so, I'd ask what her handle is (i.e., feigning that I'm too busy to remember everyone), then pause a little bit, (i.e., like I'm going through a spreadsheet) say "OK, wait", and then depending on how long it's been, make a comment about how sick she must have been to finally get well. I'd also throw out the question, "are you still contagious?". The key to this frame is to presume that she is fully telling the truth, with the connotation that any woman that would lie is a low-value woman.

 

[MatureDJ]

Just an update, I did what RUG said, and she replied back pretty quickly stating she thought she texted me saying she has the flu with a high temp and doesn't want to get me sick. I texted back no issues. Feel better and let me know if you want to reschedule. She texted most definitely and absolutely. Sorry again for tonight. Doubt I will hear back from her again.

BINGO! What's the point of chasing a woman that does not have desire?