catch
Senior Don Juan
The thirteen rules
1. Be smart, Be topical
The number one rule at the top of the comedy pyramid, the thing you need to get from your time reading this post, is to be smart and topical.
If you are smart and topical then you will always be prepared with some thing to react to, that will bulk up your comedy inventory!
to do this, you have to know what is out there that is funny.
read a news paper, watch the headlines, buy a magazine. you need to know what people are talking about, thinking about, and whats "in" in the pop culture. when its summer, hot jokes are in; when we are fighting terrorists,bin laden jokes or saddamm hussain are in, if your girlfriend is trying to loose weight then fat jokes are in. you need to read the news paper, watch news, so that in any situation you know what is being spoken about and your ready to deliver a killer line.
some current events to joke about
DRUNK;ozzy osbourne, martha stuart
FREAKY;micheal jackson, madonna
SLUT;christina aguilera, jordon
2. use funny words and sounds
woody allen, a brilliant comedian once wrote a great piece that consisted solely of funny words. they're words that just sound funny minute you read or hear them. the standard rule of comedy is that "K" words are funny, but there are plenty of other words that work. try them out and see. heres some good ones to use:
tramp, jelly, imbecile, breeders hips, chicken ****k, melons, hooters, kinky, bimbo, buffoon.
i once told a joke about about a disney style theme park opening in irak that ended up with a comparison of mickey mouse as a mascot,"hezbollah mouse" i dont know why but if you say the words hezbollah mouse out loud, it gets a laugh.
when choosing funny words, remember that specific is better than general. the specific product durashears is better to use than the standard term scissors. saying you went to hooters is always funnier than saying you went to a strip club.
3. understand the hidden truth
Anything funny that you say will, to some degree, have a hidden truth behind it. i once heard a great comedian say,"every joke uncovers somthing" one of the reasons i enjoyed his act was becuase every joke he told, every story, i immediatly identified with it and his point of veiw. i saw the hidden truths, the common "whats so stupid about this" that we can all recognise.
funny people say out loud what the rest of the world are thinking -andy breckman
for fun, once a week on thusday i buy my paper and look through the paper to find out, "what pyssing every body off latley". i take the really stupid stories in the paper and point out the ridiculousness of the truth.
4. have a target
and now for the one thing about being funny that most nice people are in denile about---all humor has to have a target.
comedy isnt pretty--- the reason comedians say they kill is becuase they have a victim. the victim can be you, it can be someone else not currently in the room, a common enemy. if you want something funny to hit its mark then you have to have some thing to aim at. so in a situation or a conversation, know what you want to make fun of make sure its a worthy target.
as your practicing out there, flexing your funny muscles, there are easy targets that we nail-
-people, people with somthing wrong with them
-places, public toilets, eeew
-strange objects, like your nans teeth
-animals like pigs, horses and jordon
genral things that we can all identify with make the easiest targets
-states;new jersy, florida, west virginia
-countrys; england, japan, france
-stereotypes, blondes, lawyers, ex lovers, women in genral, men in genral
people in a position of power making a stupid mistake is very funny becuase we laugh whan we feel better or more superior than someone! you laugh at someone who screws up big time becuase you now feel better than them!
the butt of the joke should always be fictional, about you or someone powerfull or someone weak.
5.have a point of view
this is really a corollary of the last two rules--- you need to take a chance to be funny. you need to be willing to expose bitter truth about a situation or a person, target that victim, and deliver your take on it.
you need to be willing to "risk the cricket" thats when someone tells a joke and gets a dead silence in the room and all you can here is the crickets chirping.
people say how do you know if your joke will be funny? i dont! god doesnt know that! the only way to find out is to say it, cross your fingers, and wait for a response. a lot of good comedians will write out 1500 jokes a day and just choose the 20 that sound best for that night, and yes there are a few jokes that dont get a laugh, if some of the worlds best comedians get the crickets from time to time, then so will you.
its ok though, youll live.
6. supprise them
"suprise in any form is funny-overstatement, understatement, cruelty, comparatives."-rita rudner
one key element to being funny is supprise.there are at least 5 ways you can supprise people with humor. the first four are evident and the last one il explain a bit more in detail
1)you say something funny in the middle of a serious conversation or situation
2)"you can say something funny in response to someone who is expecting a serious answer to a question" like a shyt test.
3)you say something funny in a location that no one will expect humor(like an elevator or a funeral)
4)you can say the opposite of whats expected
5)you can say something very outrageous with a dead pan delivery.
"dont be afraid. once you get used to doing it, its like throwing a switch, so you can be very serious and then drop a dead funny line, then go back to being serious again." -garry shandling
i find dead pan delivery works great when someone is yapping away, and mainly in response to someone sharing a completely useless fact or when someone just said something stupid or boring.for example, if someone says, "it was raining at our company picknick today, can you imagine anything worse"!!! you answer with something like"how about being sexually assaulted by an aroused goat? that would be worse."
last week i was walking out of a job interview and the interviewer dropped somthing by me and said "oh shyt" when she saw me, she said "oh, pardon my french", my response was to say in a very informative, know-it-all voice "actually in french its, le gran crape"
7.the key to comedy...timing
for the professional comic, the timing within the structure of the joke is of critical importance. for us, there are two different elements of timing. the first involves PUTTING THE FUNNY BIT AT THE END.
always remember to put the funny words at the end. whatever you do, do not drag out and dilute the punch of your punch line... by adding words... at the end.... that drag out... the point.... you are trying to make. get it?
a second part of timing involves, waiting fot the right moment,
"the truth is, when your sitting around with your friends and you think of a funny line, dont blurt it out. hold a funny line until the right moment.
you want to be patient so you can get a good clear shot, mainly when people arnt talking and the focus is on you. it can turn a funny line into a bloody hilarious line.
8.tag the line and do a run
the tag in a joke is when the funny man gives a set up, then a twist, and the punch... then tags an afterthough on to make a second punch line. a run is an entire series od jokes on the same subject.
set up;
comic-"i think that lady must come from america!"
comic 2-"no way,i think shes canadian"
punch line:
comic-"i think shes fat!
tag on:
comic 2-"she must come from "hungary" then!"
a tag for you and me can also just be a quick response to finish somebody elses thought. your job as a funny person is to decide if the situation is ripe for a joke, look at the statement sombody has made and tag it. it usually works when somebody tries to sound smart by uttering a metaphor or pass of a quote as there own wisdom;
clich'e; he'd give you the shirt off his back.
tag; what do i want with a sweaty size 48 shirt!!!!
clich'e;a dog is a mans best friend
tag;no, a dog is your best friend, you have no other friends.
1. Be smart, Be topical
The number one rule at the top of the comedy pyramid, the thing you need to get from your time reading this post, is to be smart and topical.
If you are smart and topical then you will always be prepared with some thing to react to, that will bulk up your comedy inventory!
to do this, you have to know what is out there that is funny.
read a news paper, watch the headlines, buy a magazine. you need to know what people are talking about, thinking about, and whats "in" in the pop culture. when its summer, hot jokes are in; when we are fighting terrorists,bin laden jokes or saddamm hussain are in, if your girlfriend is trying to loose weight then fat jokes are in. you need to read the news paper, watch news, so that in any situation you know what is being spoken about and your ready to deliver a killer line.
some current events to joke about
DRUNK;ozzy osbourne, martha stuart
FREAKY;micheal jackson, madonna
SLUT;christina aguilera, jordon
2. use funny words and sounds
woody allen, a brilliant comedian once wrote a great piece that consisted solely of funny words. they're words that just sound funny minute you read or hear them. the standard rule of comedy is that "K" words are funny, but there are plenty of other words that work. try them out and see. heres some good ones to use:
tramp, jelly, imbecile, breeders hips, chicken ****k, melons, hooters, kinky, bimbo, buffoon.
i once told a joke about about a disney style theme park opening in irak that ended up with a comparison of mickey mouse as a mascot,"hezbollah mouse" i dont know why but if you say the words hezbollah mouse out loud, it gets a laugh.
when choosing funny words, remember that specific is better than general. the specific product durashears is better to use than the standard term scissors. saying you went to hooters is always funnier than saying you went to a strip club.
3. understand the hidden truth
Anything funny that you say will, to some degree, have a hidden truth behind it. i once heard a great comedian say,"every joke uncovers somthing" one of the reasons i enjoyed his act was becuase every joke he told, every story, i immediatly identified with it and his point of veiw. i saw the hidden truths, the common "whats so stupid about this" that we can all recognise.
funny people say out loud what the rest of the world are thinking -andy breckman
for fun, once a week on thusday i buy my paper and look through the paper to find out, "what pyssing every body off latley". i take the really stupid stories in the paper and point out the ridiculousness of the truth.
4. have a target
and now for the one thing about being funny that most nice people are in denile about---all humor has to have a target.
comedy isnt pretty--- the reason comedians say they kill is becuase they have a victim. the victim can be you, it can be someone else not currently in the room, a common enemy. if you want something funny to hit its mark then you have to have some thing to aim at. so in a situation or a conversation, know what you want to make fun of make sure its a worthy target.
as your practicing out there, flexing your funny muscles, there are easy targets that we nail-
-people, people with somthing wrong with them
-places, public toilets, eeew
-strange objects, like your nans teeth
-animals like pigs, horses and jordon
genral things that we can all identify with make the easiest targets
-states;new jersy, florida, west virginia
-countrys; england, japan, france
-stereotypes, blondes, lawyers, ex lovers, women in genral, men in genral
people in a position of power making a stupid mistake is very funny becuase we laugh whan we feel better or more superior than someone! you laugh at someone who screws up big time becuase you now feel better than them!
the butt of the joke should always be fictional, about you or someone powerfull or someone weak.
5.have a point of view
this is really a corollary of the last two rules--- you need to take a chance to be funny. you need to be willing to expose bitter truth about a situation or a person, target that victim, and deliver your take on it.
you need to be willing to "risk the cricket" thats when someone tells a joke and gets a dead silence in the room and all you can here is the crickets chirping.
people say how do you know if your joke will be funny? i dont! god doesnt know that! the only way to find out is to say it, cross your fingers, and wait for a response. a lot of good comedians will write out 1500 jokes a day and just choose the 20 that sound best for that night, and yes there are a few jokes that dont get a laugh, if some of the worlds best comedians get the crickets from time to time, then so will you.
its ok though, youll live.
6. supprise them
"suprise in any form is funny-overstatement, understatement, cruelty, comparatives."-rita rudner
one key element to being funny is supprise.there are at least 5 ways you can supprise people with humor. the first four are evident and the last one il explain a bit more in detail
1)you say something funny in the middle of a serious conversation or situation
2)"you can say something funny in response to someone who is expecting a serious answer to a question" like a shyt test.
3)you say something funny in a location that no one will expect humor(like an elevator or a funeral)
4)you can say the opposite of whats expected
5)you can say something very outrageous with a dead pan delivery.
"dont be afraid. once you get used to doing it, its like throwing a switch, so you can be very serious and then drop a dead funny line, then go back to being serious again." -garry shandling
i find dead pan delivery works great when someone is yapping away, and mainly in response to someone sharing a completely useless fact or when someone just said something stupid or boring.for example, if someone says, "it was raining at our company picknick today, can you imagine anything worse"!!! you answer with something like"how about being sexually assaulted by an aroused goat? that would be worse."
last week i was walking out of a job interview and the interviewer dropped somthing by me and said "oh shyt" when she saw me, she said "oh, pardon my french", my response was to say in a very informative, know-it-all voice "actually in french its, le gran crape"
7.the key to comedy...timing
for the professional comic, the timing within the structure of the joke is of critical importance. for us, there are two different elements of timing. the first involves PUTTING THE FUNNY BIT AT THE END.
always remember to put the funny words at the end. whatever you do, do not drag out and dilute the punch of your punch line... by adding words... at the end.... that drag out... the point.... you are trying to make. get it?
a second part of timing involves, waiting fot the right moment,
"the truth is, when your sitting around with your friends and you think of a funny line, dont blurt it out. hold a funny line until the right moment.
you want to be patient so you can get a good clear shot, mainly when people arnt talking and the focus is on you. it can turn a funny line into a bloody hilarious line.
8.tag the line and do a run
the tag in a joke is when the funny man gives a set up, then a twist, and the punch... then tags an afterthough on to make a second punch line. a run is an entire series od jokes on the same subject.
set up;
comic-"i think that lady must come from america!"
comic 2-"no way,i think shes canadian"
punch line:
comic-"i think shes fat!
tag on:
comic 2-"she must come from "hungary" then!"
a tag for you and me can also just be a quick response to finish somebody elses thought. your job as a funny person is to decide if the situation is ripe for a joke, look at the statement sombody has made and tag it. it usually works when somebody tries to sound smart by uttering a metaphor or pass of a quote as there own wisdom;
clich'e; he'd give you the shirt off his back.
tag; what do i want with a sweaty size 48 shirt!!!!
clich'e;a dog is a mans best friend
tag;no, a dog is your best friend, you have no other friends.
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