Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Building attraction in day date

DannyM

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Ok im meeting this girl from a dating website on friday and im a little out of practice as i just got out of a LTR. Anyway we have talked on fone and she texts me about 8 times a day so I think it will be fine but she wants to meet in the day at 3pm for 2 hours (she has a kid needs babysitter) for nandos.

Im wondering in a day environment for 2 hours at a restaurnant i Can build attraction and kino her? I used to have no problem doing this on a night when I would sit back in a bar with a girl but surely this is a different approach?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ShinerDog

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Just started online dating myself man, having some ok success. My question would be, why does it have to be for 2 hours?? First meet up should be an hour at the most, that's plenty of time to eat, or drink coffee, chat or whatever. I mean think about it, you've already been communicating, wtf you gonna sit there an blab about for 2 hours? And what if you don't like her?

Basically, give them a taste then get out. I would shorten the date, hour max, keep the convo light and be fun, smile, then end the meeting saying you hit her up soon for another date (if you even like her at this point).

Just my opinion, not an expert but this is working for me.

Of course if there is more to the story and she's just looking for some action, disregard advice and take your sweet time, smash away.
 

DannyM

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Yeah i guess...you mean like give a slice of my pizza, then take it away before she gets the whole pie?

I guess im just out of practice lol, I don't really want anthing more from this 1st date than a kiss as giving the situation anything more isnt possible. I guess I was just wondering how to build up to that in a day environment.
 

ShinerDog

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I think if you go in expecting or trying to get a kiss or whatever, you set yourself up for failure, I go in with no expectations and have to remind myself, "This person might suck in real life, but I know I don't". If it feels right do it, if not, it's more of a meeting up than a date anyway so there really shouldn't be that pressure.
I look at the first time I meet someone online as an interview to gauge whether or not I want to go forward with an actual date. That's why I do coffee or ice cream or something I can jet out of if it goes south. Honestly man, you'll just need to try it your way and figure it out through trial and error. I'm sure i'll crash and burn a few times on my journey into this dating world. I was in a LTR when I was younger and have been single for close to 5 years. Just now getting back in the game.

Good luck
 
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