Build me up from the ground up

[IdEngager]

I'm here because I suck at dating. I'm here cause I want to get better.

I've never actually had trouble getting attention from women. I've been told plenty of times I'm cute and dress well. (Here's a few pictures for reference: http://i42.tinypic.com/207ujqf.jpg, http://i39.tinypic.com/2r3fbwh.jpg, http://i40.tinypic.com/25qulg4.jpg). I've got plenty of positive things going for me. I finished school and got a good job programming computers. I'm a musician that sings and plays a couple of instruments and just started a band. I'm into arts, reading, and things like that and still make time to workout 5 times a week and follow sports.

But when it comes to dating, I'm a complete nonstarter. Never had a girlfriend or serious relationship. Get laid at a rate that makes the deserts seem wet. The girls I have ended up have generally been below my league, none that I really wanted to pursue anything longer with. I've never been able to end up with the girls that I feel are desirable. I get out and try to talk to them and still come up 0 for 10. It gets discouraging. I'm 23, frustrated, and it's time I start to do better.

I'm here to get help. Where do I begin?

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

I use to be absolutely horrendous with women, in highschool, basically invisible. Very poor social skills. Poor beliefs.

I think 75% of attraction to the girls you want is social skills/social development. I can't emphasis it enough. You need to be on her level socially.

I think for many guys here, maybe 50-75%, if they're failing a lot, its coming across to the girl as lines, memorizations, technique....do 1, 2, 3, # close, but there's no social foundation to support it. Or very little. And you're just one of a million guys to approach. Lack of any female socializing can look desperate or lower your confidence.

Before I found this site, around 1999, 2000, I use to meet girls randomly from yahoo messenger, or aol messenger. These girls were 5's or 6's. But I had no idea what to do or where to take it. Not knowing what to do around 5's or 6's, and then going for 7's, 8's or higher, its going to be hard.

The problem then was not getting out enough, lingering poor beliefs from highschool, and lack of overall strategy.

Getting out a lot is crucical, even by yourself. Every day, every week. Making contact with girls...even just saying hi to the girl outside the apple store, or a hostess or something.

-Also, what are your standards? Halle Berry? The perfect 10 model?

For me, it took a long time to build up my social skills to be comfortable with women...going out every weekend, and charting my progress. I'd log a daily diary and write how long I spent, how I felt, what I did.

 

[DonJuan11]

- I've never actually had trouble getting attention from women.
- I've been told plenty of times I'm cute and dress well.
- I finished school and got a good job programming computers.
- I'm a musician that sings and plays a couple of instruments and just started a band.
- I'm into arts, reading, and things like that and still make time to workout 5 times a week and follow sports.

- I've never been able to end up with the girls that I feel are desirable. I'm here to get help. Where do I begin?

Look at your first five points, its all "I, I, I..." Girls don't care what you do, girls care how you make them feel. If you do all that you say and drive a Ferrari but can't make her feel you, you will be cooked in the water.

We also need examples before we can directly help you.

 

[librito]

because you are a programmer, you are probably using logic and common sense to solve the problem with women.
learn this my friend, women are not logical and the only way to get to them is by doing and acting as the men they feel atracted to, eventhough it wont make any sense to you... you are on the right place to learn all this confusing information.