So I am starting this thread in the hopes that I can get some pointers to help get past the first date. Lately, I have been plagued with a streak of bad luck on first dates. In fact, I think it has been over 1 year since I have had a second date and even in that situation it didn't work out for one reason or another. Its all very discouraging and has completely wrecked my self confidence. It took me 3 months to get two dates- one date left as soon as she saw me. A few weekends ago, I had what seemed like a good date but she has flaked twice so far. Maybe a few fellow posters can tell me where I am going wrong here.
Background - I am in shape, 34, close to 6'. My job is decent. Lately I have been putting a lot of time into my own projects so I do not have much free time. I do not do "social" activities like group sports more than once per week.
Where I meet dates Mostly online dating sites. Sometimes I get numbers at the bar. Numbers from the bar seldom result in meeting up a second time.
On the Date- I like to talk about intellectual things. This might come off as too serious and not light hearted enough in conversation. While the dates are never awkward, I find them sometimes boring. I sometimes talk about myself, and this could be a major turn off?
After the date/texts I usually try and send texts to meet up on weekends. I do not think my texting is needy, but it seems that I sometimes send more messages than I receive and have worked on not doing this. I have tried two approaches to no avail - one is to trying and get a date , and another is to remain aloof. Neither work for second dates and always result in never chatting with them again.
Running out of options I seem to be good at getting random sex, but getting a second date under normal circumstances is vexing me. I literally feel cursed at how little luck I have had trying to get women who are interested in meeting up a second time. It is not as if the first dates go horribly - in some instances they seem genuinely interested. Now, self confidence is clearly playing a factor and I am starting to channel that lack into anger and disgust.
Please ask questions and give me the worst tasting medicine you can imagine. This problem won't get any better by hearing pleasant truths ,and I need to change.
Background - I am in shape, 34, close to 6'. My job is decent. Lately I have been putting a lot of time into my own projects so I do not have much free time. I do not do "social" activities like group sports more than once per week.
Where I meet dates Mostly online dating sites. Sometimes I get numbers at the bar. Numbers from the bar seldom result in meeting up a second time.
On the Date- I like to talk about intellectual things. This might come off as too serious and not light hearted enough in conversation. While the dates are never awkward, I find them sometimes boring. I sometimes talk about myself, and this could be a major turn off?
After the date/texts I usually try and send texts to meet up on weekends. I do not think my texting is needy, but it seems that I sometimes send more messages than I receive and have worked on not doing this. I have tried two approaches to no avail - one is to trying and get a date , and another is to remain aloof. Neither work for second dates and always result in never chatting with them again.
Running out of options I seem to be good at getting random sex, but getting a second date under normal circumstances is vexing me. I literally feel cursed at how little luck I have had trying to get women who are interested in meeting up a second time. It is not as if the first dates go horribly - in some instances they seem genuinely interested. Now, self confidence is clearly playing a factor and I am starting to channel that lack into anger and disgust.
Please ask questions and give me the worst tasting medicine you can imagine. This problem won't get any better by hearing pleasant truths ,and I need to change.
