Brushed off by main plate? Should I go NC?

[pdx1138]

OK so we exchanged texts a week ago. Then nothing again from her.

She just came back this evening with a text.

I am thinking I should wait indefinitely (weeks if it comes to that) until she sends a second text before responding.

Not in a malicious way but to create anxiety and strong emotions in her and ultimately raise her interest level.

Is that the right play now?

I think so.

If I were you I would just have her initiate texts for the foreseeable future.
It might be difficult for you, but if she is into you, she definitely will.

You'd be surprised what it can do.

In the mean time, you need to trim down this obsession about her, it ain't healthy, friend.

With everything going on in her life and what the poster said about women going through Divorce
not being ideal...it's all correct. She'll need extra room, so chill out.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

OK so we exchanged texts a week ago. Then nothing again from her.

She just came back this evening with a text.

I am thinking I should wait indefinitely (weeks if it comes to that) until she sends a second text before responding.

Not in a malicious way but to create anxiety and strong emotions in her and ultimately raise her interest level.

Is that the right play now?

I feel in this instance, that to her, you suddenly going ghost would seem spiteful and/or malicious. And would tell her that you don't understand what she's going through.

The way to raise her interest level here would be to make it seem like you're doing fine and dandy without her.

I would respond. But just keep it light and fluffy, talk about something else besides getting together, or her divorce.

 

[Scormus]

I feel in this instance, that to her, you suddenly going ghost would seem spiteful and/or malicious. And would tell her that you don't understand what she's going through.
QUOTE]

Isn't this AFC thinking? The bad boy doesn't care!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Isn't this AFC thinking? The bad boy doesn't care!

Situational awareness. It's one thing being the bad boy, it's another being the childish bad boy. Emotional maturity. You already showed that you cared, she knows this. There's a time and a place to go ghost or NC. There's a reason why she was being distant, and IMO and some others on this thread, it seems like a valid one. Going ghost or NC is usally used as a punshiment for bad behavior. Did she really misbehave? Or did you? I feel that she's giving you a second chance. To me, it seems like your relationship is hanging by a thread, and she's reaching back out to you to see what's left of that original Scormus that she initially was attracted to. I feel that going ghost would just be the nail in the coffin at this point.

Flip the switches for a second. Have you ever had a girl that just can't grasp that you have a life ouside of her? She doesn't understand that you have other obligations, then, when you finally take care of those obligations and are ready for her, she gets an attitude and becomes spiteful? I have and it's as annoying as anything I have to deal with in a relationship. It just proves to me that the woman is emotionally immature, and that the relationship is all about her....and it gives me the green light to treat her simply as a worthless FB, or straight out drop her a$$, with no remorse.

 

[Scormus]

I won't go ghost but I will take my time answering.

If she takes 1 week to respond I should take 1 week as well.

Seriously what better way to lose her respect if I respond right away?

I will come back in a week and say I was busy with work etc.

If we are on the ropes - it's because of me initiating too much contact. Now you want me to do more of what got us in this boat?

I thought the idea was you make it look like you have higher value than her by showing you are not afraid to walk away.

 

[Scormus]

Mauser - I have sent her literally 1 pic of us together (no text) and 1 text in the past MONTH total. That 1 text was what I described as us "exchanging texts" about 10 days ago now. I did NOT ask to meet up in that one text. It was just a response to her "how are you" saying I have been busy with work but otherwise fine, and to let me know if there was anything I could do to help.

How am I hounding her?

I am practically NC right now.

I've sat on her last text for 3 days and don't plan to respond anywhere from 1-4 more days.

I will just respond to her "how are you, how are things, how was so and so activity" lightly and make no mention of my slow response .

And by the way I have another date tonight with that other plate who is gorgeous (an 8 in looks) but watches telly all day - so I am not sitting moping at home exactly.