Brought a Girl (My Co-Worker) Home but No Sex ... HELP

[Nu Vision]

She just texted me inviting me to dinner Thursday. WTH? She's sending all kinds of mixed signals.

 

[OnTheRun]

You've made it obvious you are available whenever she's ready, but she wasn't interested until she wanted a pick-me-up when her relationship hit the rocks. You might get some sex out of this but you're clearly already falling for her. When she's true to her word about about not wanting to have a relationship with you ("don't fall in love with me") you will be sad/confused/angry. She's trying to do the decent thing and send you signals about her intentions but she's vulnerable, confused and you obviously have some kind of game.

I had the same situation some years ago. Ended up on and off ****buddies for 2 years but it was a total head**** and in the end I realised I should have taken the hint that I was the rebound. You're a good rebound because you are seen as a player, and you'll both resent your regression into the emotionally-invested guy desperate for a relationship with her. Putting her in the friendzone and talking about other girls is the only way to go. It might well make her chase you, in which case be careful as you'll still only ever be the rebound.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Okay new plan. Stop analyzing. Just bang her. Don't get attached.

 

[Nu Vision]

Thanks for all the advice guys. Appreciate it.

gravityeyelids,

There's a lot going on here. The fact I didn't take advantage of her and was a gentlemen when she was so drunk I think helps my cause. I didn't look desperate for sex. That's always a plus. Yes. I admit sex is on my mind a lot because my # is very low and I haven't done anything in a long while.

Something could have happened the next morning when she woke up but she woke up to texts from her angry bf or ex-bf which messed up the mood. She started talking about him texting he is moving out and then I listened to her talk about that and other emotional stuff. She's confused for sure about life and looked sad. Maybe that was AFC of me but I didn't think trying to escalate at that moment was going to get me anywhere.

When we met I opened her and invited her for drinks. She brought a friend. I almost canceled but decided to go. The outing went well. Then another day I told her I wanted us to go out alone and get to know each other. That's when she told me she had a bf and was happy in the relationship. I said cool no problem. She kept texting me but friendly stuff. Then from time to time she would invite me to lunch and I turned her down. I didn't want to waste my time. Then she invited me for drinks. I did go out with her that time and we had fun. I did a lot of rapport building and some kino but met resistance.

Then more time passed where we would talk. I told her about another chick I was introduced to and went out with. I told her because we were talking more as friends then but I think this made her a little jealous and intrigued her. She would ask me about this other girl from time to time. Then she started telling me her and the bf were in a dark place.

I was there for her as a friend and offered some advice nothing too deep.

Anyways with time I stopped replying to her texts quickly and kind of ignored her some. She began chasing. At some point she asked why I was being different with her. And then asked why I never invite her to lunch or anything. I said I was busy and we would do that soon hopefully. Then last weekend came when she hit me up and said she wanted to invite me out to drinks. That was Saturday and that's when we ended up sleeping together but no sex.

I've been practicing the stuff I've learned here and so I see some of it is working. Like I'm keeping myself a mystery. Early on I was being too available and then changed that.

Her invitation to dinner I said I couldn't do it and she was very interested in knowing why. Even asked if I was going out with the other girl. I said no. I have something to do with my son but said I could swing by her place later and she can cook some dinner. To my surprise she was open to that. And that's what's supposed to happen.

I'm thinking if things go well good ... if they don't good too.

Yeah I like this girl a lot and would like to hit it off with her but I know I can't get too attached. There's some oneitis creeping in. I have to spin more plates.

After saying she wanted to keep things work related she calls me at my office and starts talking about how nice I was to have watched her and made sure nothing happened to her when she was drunk blah blah blah.

Anyway well ee what happens.

On the Run,

I think you are right. We may both regret this later on.

 

[Nu Vision]

Let me explain the job situation. We work in the same drpartment. However she doesn't report to me. There's another girl who reports to me and I supervise who has expressed interest in me but I stopped that right away cos I can get fired for that since I'm her supervisor.

So it's tricky since we work in the same department but our offices are on separate buildings.

 

[Nu Vision]

Sunday morning after sleeping together we were talking and she said: "You expected me to come and have sex with you?" I replied yes I like to make girls wishes come true.

What u guys think of that response? I think it was alright. She laughed.

She texts me a lot about another coworker who is always following her around and copies her every move. The girl even buys the clothes she buys. This is all very girly kind of talk that I have no interest about. Should I just ignore those texts and let her figure out I'm not interested in talking about that? It reeks of friend zone.

 

[Nu Vision]

Was this a **** test or an honest attempt on her part to make me lose interest and abandon any hopes of us being anything more than friends? Let me explain.

She said that we shouldn't see each other outside of work and should keep things just as friends. But then she invited me out to dinner. Something came up and I couldn't make it so I canceled. Then this past weekend we exchanged texts.

She was saying that even if we didn't work together she didn't see us being anything more than friends because our world's are so different. She then asked where I take girls on a date. I responded with something funny to deflect the question but she kept pressing. So I told her about some places I have taken girls to. She said she has a glamorous side to her she is not willing to give up and that I have my son who is my priority. That unlike me she can pick up and move anywhere she likes because she is not attached to any place and that she likes to go to more classy and expensive restaurants. She then told me about some she goes downtown in the city which are prety elegant and expensive. Dinner there is at least $300+ for two.

This left a bad taste in my mouth. I felt like she is saying I can't provide that for her which I wouldn't even if I could. There's no need to spend that much money on dates. She went on to say that some guys she has gone out with and end up being nothing with them took her to expensive places and gave her gifts. I said I'm not like those guys.

So you guys think this is her testing how persistent I'm willing to be or what?

Her ex bf who she says she is talking to and trying to fix things with makes a ton of money working in finance.

 

[Nu Vision]

Mauser,

You are right man. How do you suggest I stop contact with her. We work together and since I have to see her at work I wouldn't like to stop contact abruptly. Even today she kept texting me about random stuff. She needs attention. I honestly feel used. Looks like she just wanted me to take her out the night she had a fight with her bf and to listen to her problems. I've been so beta with her is not even funny.

I'll respond to texts sparingly and never quick. Some iv will not respond to for hours even a day. She will get the hint.

Her attraction seemed to go up when I ignored her. One day I didn't reply to her text the whole day and she even called me and left a message saying she wanted to see if I was ok blah blah blah.

I've made mistakes here and will learn from them.

 

[Moroder]

Such women are dangerous. They will elicit responses from you and then use the stuff you said to attack you mercilessly. Try to be impeccable in business matters, but refuse each and any contact/statement about the private stuff. She wants to use you and create drama, but she can only do this as long as you respond to her fücked up behavior. Stop responding, and she will eventually resort to harrassing somebody else.

 

[Python003]

Nu...you don't know any of us from a hole in the ground, to be sure, but if you listen to any of the advice on here, MAUSER is hitting the head of the nail, brother. I have been where he is speaking of. The shaming you into going beyond your means or rack up a credit card for one of these leeches. Avoid this black hole, otherwise you'll be posting an entirely different kind of thread here in a few months when she is done chewing you up.

 

[Python003]

in addition...she complains to you that the ex-bf worked all the time. I have no doubt...it's these samy type of women that will shame you into believing you're cheap, etc etc...so, maybe that dude is working all the time to try to appease her need for expensive dinners, trips, etc. Let her be his problem, man. Typical... the guy probably busting his *SS to please her, all the while she's complaining to you about how he works too much. Another note..if she'll do that to him, you're next. End rant, sorry. This just hits close to home with me.

 

[Nu Vision]

Yup. I'll stop responding. She will get the hint.

Man ... I didn't see it. She looks like such a cool, down to earth person from the outside. The more I deal with women the more faith I lose in them. Post separation from my ex my experiences have been bad. Sometimes I think my ex wasn't as bad as I thought lol.

First girl I met in a bar while hanging out with friends. We then bounced to a club where she and her friends wanted my boys and I to buy bottles for them. They ended up going to another table and sitting with the guys with money (dope dealers).

Second girl is another coworker who us MARRIED but told me how unhappy she is in the marriage, confessed her love for me (at first sight she said) and wanted to leave the husband and be with me ... ugh.

This girl is this one ... the emotional/cash seeking vampire.

Don't you guys feel like the more we learn and the take red pill the uglier it gets in terms of women out there?

 

[Nu Vision]

* I mean the more ugly we see in women.

 

[Nu Vision]

She just texted about wanting the day to be over quick and asking when my son starts vacation. It's these lid of innocent texts I have a hard time ignoring but will.

 

[Python003]

It's definitely hard not to become jaded with these chicks and all the game they spew.. just gotta recognize the games, get what you need from them, then toss those types on the exit pile, and it's onto the next one. the key is don't let them get inside your head/heart...

 

[Nu Vision]

She just texted me a pic of her puppy. What the hell did I get into? This is not the friend zone this is the hell zone. She's sensing something is up. I can tell. I replied to one text today and then silence since 1 pm.

 

[princess_124]

She just texted me a pic of her puppy. What the hell did I get into? This is not the friend zone this is the hell zone. She's sensing something is up. I can tell. I replied to one text today and then silence since 1 pm.

That's awesome....your not supposed to have sex with her at all UNLESS you get married to her :nono:

 

[Nu Vision]

Lol ... Princess