"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Brothers, something is wrong with me. How do I fix this?

S

Shivastorm_88

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I broke up with my ex about a month ago. We were together for a year, she was my first serious relationship

Yesterday I brought this HB7 back home and we ****ed. First off, I didn't even enjoy myself (well I enjoyed the *******, not the sex itself). After I was finished (I couldn't care less if she came or not) I felt sick to my stomach, to a point where I cried a bit. I had to tell her to leave.

This isn't normal, not after a month. I thought sleeping with a random chick would help me forget her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

coronaflash

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First of all, 1 month is not a long time in any scenario.

You are obviously caught up on the last relationship and having sex with this new girl brought it home that the previous relationship has run its course. Nothing wrong with shedding a tear for a lost relationship (if it meant something to you) if that is what helps you move on but don't do it in front of others. Let the emotion out and move on.
Best thing you can do is take time for yourself. Discover what makes you tick. What made you who you were before her?? Find that guy again. That guy got you the last relationship.. so find him and improve on him. Be a force of nature... Be better than you think you can be and you'll fear nothing..

Take the advice or leave it the choice is yours...
 
S

Shivastorm_88

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coronaflash said:
First of all, 1 month is not a long time in any scenario.

You are obviously caught up on the last relationship and having sex with this new girl brought it home that the previous relationship has run its course. Nothing wrong with shedding a tear for a lost relationship (if it meant something to you) if that is what helps you move on but don't do it in front of others. Let the emotion out and move on.
Best thing you can do is take time for yourself. Discover what makes you tick. What made you who you were before her?? Find that guy again. That guy got you the last relationship.. so find him and improve on him. Be a force of nature... Be better than you think you can be and you'll fear nothing..

Take the advice or leave it the choice is yours...
Click to expand...
Mmh solid advice. You are right, and I shall take it.
 
TheMonkeyKing

TheMonkeyKing

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coronaflash said:
First of all, 1 month is not a long time in any scenario.

You are obviously caught up on the last relationship and having sex with this new girl brought it home that the previous relationship has run its course. Nothing wrong with shedding a tear for a lost relationship (if it meant something to you) if that is what helps you move on but don't do it in front of others. Let the emotion out and move on.
Best thing you can do is take time for yourself. Discover what makes you tick. What made you who you were before her?? Find that guy again. That guy got you the last relationship.. so find him and improve on him. Be a force of nature... Be better than you think you can be and you'll fear nothing..

Take the advice or leave it the choice is yours...
Click to expand...

+1.

NEXT!
 
T

Turuwal

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It happens man. We all go through it. It took me nine months to finally get over my five year relationship. I fvcked five other women during those nine months but none of it worked. The thing that worked was taking some time off for myself and getting my life sorted out.

The only thing wrong with you is that you are human.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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M

MrNiceGuy23

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I'm not sure where I read this or who told me but I think it holds pretty true in almost any relationship that ends. Think about your relationship, how long it lasted, divide that number by 2 and that's how long you've been breaking up. Think back to 6 months and you may realize something happened that changed your relationship and first started this rift. Now realize you just wasted half a year breaking up with someone. Don't dwell on it you don't want to waste anymore time. Understand you're better now than you were before and realize she wasn't right for you. This should help decrease the frequency of your sadness as well as its intensity.

My last relationship started in July and ended in January, 6 months. In October (3 months) we had a big fight over her jealousy issues, and the relationship was rocky from that point until we called it quits. It's hard to understand how bad things are when you're in the middle of it and let your emotions get in the way. My relationship before that lasted 2.5 years, about 16 months into that relationship is when my vision of my girlfriend and the relationship I had with her changed, and we inevitably broke up and got back together, and finally parted ways down the road.

Understand all things come to an end, and its better to have a relationship fail earlier than later to avoid any big investments you make into it.
 
N

narcissist

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Same sh1t happened to me.

For 3 months after I broke up with my ex any girl i slept with i would close my eyes and pretend it was my ex... Fvcked up i know.

But now I can fully enjoy sex with other women and actually be in the moment with them. It took me 3-4 months after my ex to get to that point..

It takes time man. Time heals all.
 
Thorninmyside

Thorninmyside

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narcissist said:
For 3 months after I broke up with my ex any girl i slept with i would close my eyes and pretend it was my ex... Fvcked up i know.
Click to expand...
Nah, when I was with my ex wife I'd imagine I was her banging her friends, her mom, anyone but her, hahaha.
 
R

RagingBalls

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On a failed serious relationship, sometimes it's hard to let go of the attachments you feel for that person that easily, be it sex or whatever.That past cannot be changed. They are a part of what you are. I agree with another poster in advising you on finding what makes you tick, i didn't mean to imply you aren't ticking now, but i also agree to it because it will make you feel better, you're doing this not for women, it's about finding what you want because i can see there's a missing piece in there.

Don't feel bad on how you felt after having sex with another girl, you are finding someone worth investing in and for you to be happy with. You're moving on with your life and it just so happens that you didn't enjoyed it because there's something right there within you that needs to be FIXED. Finding your old better self is good, finding that guy you were meant to be, or you may already are, but don't know how to be, which will take you into another important step you should make...ACCEPTANCE. You got to accept the fact that there are things that will never go back to how they used to be. Embrace the bad sides of your failed relationship. Take personal responsibility for that circumstance if it has to be. Learn from the experience and respect the lessons from it. You must accept the realities of life. It will help you move forward. It will allow you to be free.
 
I

Induced Drag

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This sounds really familiar. I went through the same thing with several women I was with after my ex. Minus the crying part. I didn't know what to make of it at the time either. Was I going nuts or in my case nuttier than normal?

I think it's just part of the healing process. The good news is it get's a lot better as time goes on.

You're fine........walk it off.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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L

LeonSK

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Similar thing happened to me, I didn't enjoy the sex with the first girl I hooked up with after a LTR. It feels very weird.

You'll get over it though. Give it sometime and meet more women.
 
V

VikingKing

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It may suck now. But I bet after your experience, and finding this site, in the future you wont get caught in the trap again.
 
backseatjuan

backseatjuan

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It looks like you were bitten by b!tch werewolf, you growing vagina and boobies. Try eating garlic, if that don't work, oh well, buy a dildo, it will make you happy. :yes:
 
J

JoeMarron

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You only fvcked one woman, you have nine more to go. Seriously though the cliche time heals all wounds along with keeping yourself busy and talking to other women is the only cure. Your brain isn't going to get over those emotions overnight. BTW did you pick this chick up by cold approaching her and telling her to share orgasms with you? :D
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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S

Sofomore

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Yea man just remember things get better with time. I found myself down the other day but I told myself it will pass very soon. A few hours later I was in a better mood and back to normal. As said above it's very cliche, but time really does heal all wounds.
 
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