Brothers I need help to make a change

[apprenticedj]

I'm new to this forum and eventhough I haven't been here long I'm very impressed with the knowledge of the posters here. I don't know if I would consider myself the typical AFC but I definitely possess some of those undesirable qualities. I think my biggest core issue is lack of confidence and like anyone on this forum can tell you that's a BIG PROBLEM. For the better part of my adult life I've been overweight. Now granted I'm a big guy, 6'2" about 285-290, built like a former linebacker that's let himself go! I carry the weight pretty well so I don't look sloppy at all but I've always felt incredibly insecure about being overweight. Chicks simply don't dig husky dudes, well at least not in comparison to lean guys. So I really want to make this change but I have another, even bigger issue that is holding me back in life. I'm also a chronic marijauna smoker, have been for a decade. This is killing me on two levels, A. I'll never lose weight like I want to if I keep smoking (MUNCHIES OUT OF CONTROL). B. Weed makes me EXTREMELY socially anxious. If I smoke before I go out I feel so awkward and out of place that 75% of the time that I get smoked I don't like to go ANYWHERE.

I know I possess some great atributes, I'm a tall, decent looking white dude with a full head of hair and I've got a great people skills and the ability to make people laugh. I feel blessed in those aspects and if I achieved my other goals I would feel on top of the world. But every single day I fail to make progress because I can't quit smoking. I feel depressed at my lack of progression and that makes me smoke, and then caving in to smoking makes me feel depressed so I smoke again! It's a vicious cycle fellas. I guess this post is just a rant at myself but if anybody has any tips out there they would be greatly appreciated. I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Put the blunt down player. You will be amazed at the difference you feel after not smoking for 2 weeks. Clearer thoughts, sharper convo/vocab skills, more outgoing and anxiety reduced tremendously (Dreams will be crazy vivid.) As far as the confidence goes - once you stop smoking (just do it) you will feel naturally motivated, energized, and wont have a choice but to go out and occupy your time with things that are PRODUCTIVE instead of sitting around zooted playin COD such as: working out, advancing your career, making new friends/experiences. Once you start accomplishing those - you will feel the confidence. People and women will gravitate towards the new facey brah you have become regardless of your figure (however you should be improving it) (SRS)

Women want a man that is in control of his own life, emotions, and the world he lives in. Once you master yourself you will be able to master them.

I used to sell/smoke flat blunts of Koosh na im sayin. Now I don't.

 

[CostaDeSol]

So I really want to make this change but I have another, even bigger issue that is holding me back in life. I'm also a chronic marijauna smoker, have been for a decade. This is killing me on two levels, A. I'll never lose weight like I want to if I keep smoking (MUNCHIES OUT OF CONTROL). B. Weed makes me EXTREMELY socially anxious. If I smoke before I go out I feel so awkward and out of place that 75% of the time that I get smoked I don't like to go ANYWHERE.

sounds like there are a few things going on here.

if your worried about your weight, i would focus on that first.

come up with a SPECIFIC goal and then organize your LIFE around that goal.

lets say your goal is to lose 5lbs in one month.

then that will make you keep track of how much you lose in one week, and then that will make you keep track of how much you lose in one day...

that will force you to watch what you eat, and how often you exercise, and pretty soon weed and munchies will no longer be a priority.

but you have to FOCUS on that one goal and make that your PRIORITY. you have to zero in on it like an intercontinental ballistic missile and just go for it.

 

[CJ 101]

I'm new to this forum and eventhough I haven't been here long I'm very impressed with the knowledge of the posters here. I don't know if I would consider myself the typical AFC but I definitely possess some of those undesirable qualities. I think my biggest core issue is lack of confidence and like anyone on this forum can tell you that's a BIG PROBLEM. For the better part of my adult life I've been overweight. Now granted I'm a big guy, 6'2" about 285-290, built like a former linebacker that's let himself go! I carry the weight pretty well so I don't look sloppy at all but I've always felt incredibly insecure about being overweight. Chicks simply don't dig husky dudes, well at least not in comparison to lean guys. So I really want to make this change but have another, even bigger issue that is holding me back in life. I'm also a chronic marijauna smoker, have been for a decade. This is killing me on two levels, A. I'll never lose weight like I want to if I keep smoking (MUNCHIES OUT OF CONTROL). B. Weed makes me EXTREMELY socially anxious. If I smoke before I go out I feel so awkward and out of place that 75% of the time that I get smoked I don't like to go ANYWHERE.

I know I possess some great atributes, I'm a tall, decent looking white dude with a full head of hair and I've got a great people skills and the ability to make people laugh. I feel blessed in those aspects and if I achieved my other goals I would feel on top of the world. But every single day I fail to make progress because I can't quit smoking. I feel depressed at my lack of progression and that makes me smoke, and then caving in to smoking makes me feel depressed so I smoke again! It's a vicious cycle fellas. I guess this post is just a rant at myself but if anybody has any tips out there they would be greatly appreciated. I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now.

I'm a smoker and a heavy beer drinker too bro and i once had an issue with my weight. I set a goal to workout and shredd off all that weight and i did, i'm in shape now, i still smoke and drink, have a good fashion sense and style and i **** chicks like crazy. From my point of view i would say just focus on losing the weight and try to replace the smoking with something else: beer maybe.

 

[apprenticedj]

I'm a smoker and a heavy beer drinker too bro and i once had an issue with my weight. I set a goal to workout and shredd off all that weight and i did, i'm in shape now, i still smoke and drink, have a good fashion sense and style and i **** chicks like crazy. From my point of view i would say just focus on losing the weight and try to replace the smoking with something else: beer maybe.

How did I not see the answer was right in front of me?! DRINK BEER INSTEAD!!! Lol I hear you though, I need to replace my current addiction with a healthier one. I hope I have the same success as you, losing weight and slamming many, many women. Thanks for the advice buddy and thanks to everyone else who chimed in, much appreciated!

 

[Stort_Brød]

been there done that bro, lost 5 years to that wonderful herb haha. I literally quit cold turkey and since then have had a puff about once or twice a year. start focusing on the health side and then you won't want to toke after a while, get your body in shape and confidence will follow. hell man start up a workout log in the health and fitness section and get some great pointers and advise.

The worst thing about giving up for me was the dreaming for the first 4-6 months was just constant vivid dreams which I hated but they do subside after a while.

 

[NewJack]

Addictions are hard.

Generally speaking, knots like that one are not easily unraveled with a few nuggets of wisdom and a few realizations. Its a journey to find that other, higher level, where you can stand without the crutch.

I would remind you that the power of our minds to make a decision, is an enormous, life-changing power. It isn't just a little thing, here today, gone tomorrow. The power to make a decision is a massive, even a borderline supernatural power. With one decision, your entire life trajectory will be altered, your entire path for the next 20 years will be different, and possibly, higher and more rewarding. Remember the power of Decisions, the next time you are faced with making one.

Best wishes.

 

[mbas44]

Yeah addictions suck. I have had my share. Im in the process of trying to quit dipping(as a former baseball player I picked up this habit). Its always been my crutch in times of stress. It sucks. Also I have a very Minor drinking issue..I feel so much better when I can go a couple weeks without having any..but I had some saturday night and right now am itching to have some wine tonight. My brain is constantly looking for the next moment of escape. meditation had helped me with this for a while, but now I feel kind of stuck again. Life feels boring without these things sometimes. Idk what it is, although I know long term I feel better without these things..something tells me to indulge. Its tough but it can be done.