Nocturnal
“Chauvinism is the outright belief that one sex is superior. I agree with you on the idea that men and women have different roles, and that a relationship will work best if people accept who they are biologically, but I tend to think of it as more of a union between people and less of a master - servant relationship. I don't believe I could experience love for someone if I didn't feel that they were at my level.”
Male chauvinism has been completely misunderstood by most women. It is not just about men being superior to women. It’s about men being superior to women in the role of head of the household. It’s also about women being superior to men in the role as primary caregiver. In most divorce cases the women get the kids. This does nothing but make my case. Can I get an AMEN from somebody?
“Also, why the focus on single mothers? There are different reasons that relationships work or don't work, and there are never guarantees.”
This is one of my arguments that I made on the post “WOMEN DON”T NEED ANY MONEY” I believe that it has a baring on what you just said.
With the onset of the decline in high paying jobs relevant to standards of living over the last quarter century, it has become necessary in a number of families that both husband and wife work(or girl friend and boy friend shacking up) in the job market. (People have to do what they have to do.) In such cases, the primary caregiver should relinquish her check to the primary breadwinner and yeild to his decisions on how the money is spent. They may consult with each other, but there can only be one that has the final say.
I would think that the main reason, if not one of the most important reason, for getting married is to have children. In an ideal situation, a couple would get the things that they want and / or feel that they have to have before having children. Having children takes the primary caregiver out of the job market for an extended amount of time. If the accumulation of the things that a couple want and / or feel that they should have is interrupted by a pregnancy or an unintended consequence of an action taken by either party (stock deal gone bad), an amount of blame is placed by each party upon the other, if both parties make the decisions.
If the primary caregiver faults the primary (and I might add traditional) bread winner, she is bringing into question his ability to lead and demonstrating a lack of faith in her decision in regards to choosing him as a mate.
If the primary bread winner faults the primary caregiver for her part in the making of that decision, he is bringing into question his decision to allow her to participate in the decision making process at all. Sort of like it's a "your fault too" thing.
Now you have an argument between the two. Everybody is looking cross-eyed at each other and there ain't no good sex for a while between them. So what happens then? Often infidelity follows, then divorce and a bunch of bad feelings.
Separation of responsibility in a relationship is key to it's long term stability. Primary caregiver takes care of the home. Primary breadwinner decides the finances.
If she ain't doing her job, he gets a divorce and moves on. If he ain't doing his job, she gets a divorce and moves on.
Why does she need some money to decide what to do with it? That's not her job. If the rent is paid, the phone is on, there's food in the icebox, entertainment is taken care of, along with some other things, then what's the problem? She has no bytch.
If any kids that they have are kept clean and taken care of, the house is clean and ready to relieve any of his frustration with love and is supportive of his decisions, then what's the problem? He has no bytch.
A lot less problems.
“You make it a personal thing when people disagree with you and that just shouts out "insecurity." In addition, your craving for attention is showing through you. Why else would you make a thread like this? You want people on your side.”
I have found that a spirited debate can be intellectually stimulating. Debates test a person’s beliefs. If you truly believe in what you believe, you should be willing to defend your position on those beliefs. There is not one set law that encompasses everything in the universe. There are individual laws for different circumstances (1 + 1 = 2). When logic dictates a change in laws, then the changes have to be embraced in order to evolve (grow). If you don’t evolve, then that means that you are perfect. I’ve yet to come across perfection. Nor do I believe it exists (I really don’t want to get into a debate on GOD right now). If you can to evolve, then you die (Where is the horse and buggy now?) If you are not willing to evolve that’s just plain stupid and suicidal.
“You asked for peoples' opinions, and this is mine.”
Now you know why I asked for the opinions of others. Thank you for yours.