"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Bro's before Ho's ?

Wiesman44

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Ahhh crap. I'm in a predicament guys, and I need your opinion on what I should do.


I met this girl at college, needless to say we went to the same high school and were in the same grade (we're seniors now). We found out we have a mutual friend.

Friend, who we'll call 'Guy', and her have been friends for a while. Guy hits on a lot of girls, isn't very successful, but he gets girls just b/c of the sheer # he's hit on. He's in no way a dj, and completely AFC.

He asks me what I think of the chick, would I bone her, b/c he wants to (he's desperate right now, on a dry streak). I said I'd nail her.

Next day me and him go to a party, and he brings the chick along. Needless to say, I'm failry positive she has a thing for me. I was no match for him, didnt even mean to hit on her, just acted confident and showed her a good time. She drove me home b/c I was too drunk to drive (but not too drunk to function). Got her #, she got mine, yada yada yada, she wants to hang out, said that a few times, the way she acted, the way she looked at me, you know, typical IL signs.

Here's the thing, I got home, and my friend IMmed me and said, thanks for hitting on "Chick", and making me look bad, b/c he wants to nail her. I played it cool like i wasnt hitting on her.

Thing is, I'm interested in pursuing this chick. I'm not going to list the qualities why, but she's one of those few chicks that are worth it.

I dont wanna piss my friend off, and start hanging out w/ her behind his back, but I also don't want to drop this b/c he wants to fu#k her. What do I do ?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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frivolousz21

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well I wouldnt fyck over a friend of mine..but all my friends are DJ's.



that guy sounds like a pyssy...if I was hitting on a girl..and I wasnt successful...I hope one of my boys can hit it....so we can keep it in the family :)
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Whatever you do, don't do it behind his back. That's the worst possible thing you can do. I had a friend do something similar to me (didn't really like her that much though). Regardless of the fact that I didn't care for her much, I was insulted by the disrespect of doing it behind my back thinking I might like her.

To me whether I even liked her or not wasn't the issue. It was that thinking I liked her he did stuff behind my back. He wasn't a close friend and needless to say we drifted apart after that incident. We're still on good terms terms. It is just that our relationship is more casual now than an actual friendship.

Basically the moral of my story is you need to communicate. That's all it takes. By approaching him and talking to him face to face about it, you are showing him you respect him. Had my friend approached me and talked to me about it, I would have been like "go for it!" It would have not caused a problem like it did by going behind my back.

So talk to him and see where it goes. If he's really serious about this chick, then you have to decide what is more important, her or your friendship. Because by going against his wishes (if he really does not want you to go after her) you will most likely lose his respect. He will feel like he can't trust you anymore.
 

djbr

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Be sure if this guy is really your friend.

I gave my loyalty to some folks who couldn't care less about me, and missed great opportunities because of that. When their turn came, they just did what they wanted to without thinking twice.

Beware.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Air Max

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Guy seems like he would do it to you, and if he only wants a **** and u want something more, let him go in and **** up, then move in when its over for him. If ure confident she likes you.
 

Coolage

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I disagree on the bro's before ho's motto being in effect.
Girls shouldn't come between friends, but friends compete for girls all the time.

If she is feeling you and not your friend, you are under no obligation to back off. It would be different if a girl was dating a friend and she would be cheating on him with you.

besides this guy seems to look out for himself only
 

Wiesman44

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He's an acquaitance. Coolage, u seem to be right on the money here. I think I should just go for it. Plus he's probably friend-zoned anyway. I'd just feel weird going after her after telling him I wasnt hitting on her and having him tell me he wants to bang her. Guess I should just grab my balls and do it
 

NRM

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Shit, don't back off on your game because of him. If you do, everytime you meet up with a hot girl, he's gonna want you to back off and give him a shot first. Waste of time. If she were interested in him at all, she would have went for him instead of you.

But yeah, you do need to be straight up with him and not do stuff behind his back. Just tell him straight.
 

Oxide

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Ill tell you two stories from my life.. then you decide for yourself.


I had a friend, let's call him SBoy. He started hanging out with this cute Finish girl. He brought her along everywhere he went, drove her, paid for her.. but he isnt the type of guy to go for something, so she didnt think of him much, while he was obsessed. Well one night we decided to go into a club. He brought her along. Big mistake. After 20 mins i decided to dance with her... after 3 songs she was rubbing herself on my leg, getting off... then i leaned in for the kiss. I felt Sboy lightly punching me in the ribs as i was making out with her... i took her hand and we went into vip to take things a little further. Sboy didnt even want to talk to me anymore... about 2 months later i finally saw him again and he appologized for being a dumbass. We are friends again.


Second story: My buddy Cheese dances with a girl at a club... gets the digits. We go out, and i dont think much of her as time goes but as time goes by we start flirting and i end up having my hand on her lap at the end of the night and her being all over me. AS soon as we get home cheese asks me not to persue the girl.. at first i was "Wtf, if she likes me why should i back off?!" THen i took an advice of my other friend Jman and backed off, because "He was the one who tagged her first, he gets the first try". I back off, and a week later Cheese loses his virginity to this girl. Next time i see her i think to myself "i wanted that ugly girl? wow..."


The thing is, when there is competition involved, you might persue the girl who isnt even looking so good just becuase of it.


Bros before hoes is not entirely correct concept either, i alwyas believed that it is:

"Bros before hoes, but great girls over chumps" meaning if a girl is quality you can sacrifice a relationship with someone you dont know too well.. but never sacrifice your best friends or very close friends.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Centaurion

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it depends really on how well you know this guy. is he a close friends or just some fooker that you barely know?
 

ikkenai

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In the immortal words on Snoop Dogg, "You know the rules of the gizame, your ***** chose me."

If you were real friends/wingmen, it wouldn't matter. He wouldn't care and vice-versa. You're not being a bottom feeder, it's just reality. If he wants to act petty, let him wallow in his AFC ways.
 
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