Shattered. It seemed that everything was correct. She was exactly what you were looking for. Though you protected your heart, everything still seemed right. This girl was so different, so perfect for you.“You want to feel sorry for yourself, don’t you? With so much at stake, all you can think of is your own feelings. One woman has hurt you, and you take revenge on the rest of the world. You’re a… you’re a coward… and a weakling.” (From Casablanca)
Next thing you know, your bubbly dreams become popped. She broke up with you. It was surprising but infuriating. You thought better of her.
Others will make fun of you. Some say this is what happens to ‘newbies’. They’re wrong. It’s what happens to those who stay Human. Coming from a break up myself, I know that to be hurt (as opposed to letting yourself be hurt like Mr. Nice Guy) is actually a badge of honor. If you aren’t broken up by life, affected, altered, then it shows you aren’t living life. It shows that you have a soul else you wouldn’t feel the dagger lanced into it right now.
The majority of guys will become teary eyed and stay that way. They will retreat to a womb of security. Or they will begin the same errors again with another girl.
You aren’t like other guys.
You are a Don Juan.
Men are not ‘broken up’ with women. Rather, they dodge the bullet.
Dodging the Bullet
There was a study that discovered women were happiest when they married their first love. However, men were found to be at their unhappiest by marrying their first love. Apparently, men are happiest marrying their third or fourth love. Amazing, is it not? And here you are thinking you’ll be unhappy since you didn’t get the girl. To the contrary, you’d be extremely unhappy if you did get her!
Men do not ‘break up’ with women. Rather, they dodge the bullet. Marriage or ‘grand relationship’ is what the women want and live for. This is not what men live for.
Let’s go through how some differences how men and women look at things:
Women say, “I have broken up with you.”
Men say, “No, I have dodged the bullet. I am free to get a better girl, to improve my life, to refocus my life. I have no rope around me.”
The women protest, “You must feel sad, beaten up, broken, and defeated.”
But men reply, “No, I feel as if I have been delivered from the shackles. Before, I was blind. Now, I can see. I am happier now than ever. The spell has been broken. Your mask has been removed.”
The women will grow angry. “We demand you be like other boys who cry and moan about us leaving you.”
Yet, the men respond, “My dears, you do not know who we are. We few, we men, do not live life from the vantage point of women. We are the measurement of our lives, not you. The glory of our lives is on us, not on you. We thank you for leaving us as now new opportunities arise.”
Women fear being single. Men don’t really care one way or the other as they have a world to conquer. When a woman is single, she is not considered a woman. But if a man is single, he is still a man.
Now, there will be much quacking of protests from many males. They are the gooey sentinels who, with lofty moral tone, barf bubbles in a poppy voice: “You distort the men for we desire connection. We are both prizes. And I have lost my girl, so I shall feel sad and defeated.”
Pook tosses them a gauntlet.
Gentlemen, history is against you. I will give you very clear examples of why a real man does not ‘break up’ with a woman but, rather, dodges the bullet.