Broke up with onitis...but...

[lesmurphy]

I had been dating this girls for one and half years, about two months ago I tried to bein to break up with her, I was in a state of mind of great confidence and it seemed like every girl wanted me. Life was good.

Since the breakup she would not leave me alone and I kept telling her I needed space. This week was the fist time I had not spoken with her in over a week, because I asked for space and since I was "the one for her" she was wiling to give me space hoping that I would change my mind.


So this week is OK, not been having the best week some minor personal problems bothering me...little things really. Then it all came tumbling down Friday when I saw my ex with some guy and she seemed to be all over him, put me in a bad mood because I felt like she was rubbing it in my face and trying to make me jealous.

Then after getting a bad night of sleep, I get up and find out there was a death in my family. I didnt really want to elaborate on the death, but she is the only one who lives near me that I have any emotional connection to since my family lives far away.

I feel pretty bad and have been trying hard to cheer up, but I am really tempted to call her. I could be opening another can of worms though....errr...which I dont really need.

I dont know what to do, I don't want to date her, or any more drama, should I just try to tough it out? Whats the best way to turn over a new leaf?

 

[KontrollerX]

I've had to deal with the same thing including the death in the family.

Don't call her.

People can be such scum she may pretend to want to get back together with you even though you dumped her, she'll say that guy meant nothing or was just a friend and you in your vulnerable emotional state will buy it or just put it out of your mind and take whatever comforts you can from her.

Then when things seem to be on the upside for you and your grief is almost over she will take revenge on you brutally by dumping you putting the power squarely in her hands.

Don't go crawling back to her.

Find a hobby, be it exercise, reading or going out or even talking to a counselor to get over the death but do not go to her for comfort.

Another thing you should keep in mind for future relationships when you want to break up is do what chicks do.

Find another girl before you get rid of your current one, branch swing just like they do and you won't be alone or in a bad way if you see the ex with another guy since you'll have your new girl already.

Its an under handed dirty thing to do but in this world you have to look out for number 1.

 

[lesmurphy]

Yah I mean I don't plan on "crawling back to her" at all.

Also I will see her again and often, so do I try to avoid her, do I try to not talk to her or what? Should I not take her calls or return her txts? What is the best way to deal with these ex's?

Contact with her will be enevitable, but I do not want to make her the focus, I really should not think about her at all, yet not focus on avoiding on her...Im confused...

 

[KontrollerX]

Well you could simply be friendly if she calls but not too friendly or just use her to cheer yourself up, get her and you laughing somehow but make that as far as it goes.

Anything to get your mind off the grief without letting her into your emotional world.

If none of this is appealing to you and since you have to see her no matter what just be polite but non communicative to her trying to talk to you.

That should send the message.