"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

Murk

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Starting this thread while she's still here

brutality just came of me,

I told her "its not happiliy ever after for me" I need something new


I told her I wet on a date with colombian, shes here crying

Glad it's done
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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HyenaPrince

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Starting this thread while she's still here

brutality just came of me,

I told her "its not happiliy ever after for me" I need something new


I told her I wet on a date with colombian, shes here crying

Glad it's done
It's the right choice. You'll be better off in the long run.
 

Suave88

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Starting this thread while she's still here

brutality just came of me,

I told her "its not happiliy ever after for me" I need something new


I told her I wet on a date with colombian, shes here crying

Glad it's done
Hhhmmm......Colombinan..... I would have gone to the date and never say a word.
 

BeExcellent

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It’s better to rip the bandaid off and go forward. To do otherwise is wasting everyone’s time...and time is the most valuable thing you have.

It’s for the best. You weren’t that into her.

Next. Cheers
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Murk

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She ended up staying the night (no sex) - she cried a lot and didn't want to leave this morning.

I was honest that we have no future together - glad that chapter is one.

You are a trainwreck
I'm actually pretty stable now, but thanks.
 
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