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Broke up with first and only ever gf. Now what.

trv26

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My gf of two years cheated on me. And although she sometimes says she'd like to get back. I assume its only because she doesn't want to be the one breaking up or something.

So guys help me out. How do I get my life back on track. First came the crappy University results, next, I've been jobless since then, then I have had some health problems that were one of the main reasons for the afore-mentioned two and are still not sorted. Now my first and only ever gf (of 2 years) cheated on me with another guy and I get the feeling she doesn't want to get back either although she pretends she does.

Help me out guys. How the hell do I get my life back on track? :'(. Just don't feel like I'll ever get another girl again. This one I only knew through my sister and I believe I only managed to chat her up based on anti-depressant induced confidence.
 

thedude4242

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go out, find woman and have a fun time with them. the quicker a woman does that the better. your done with her now move on. she is not your g/f anymore so shes doesnt matter.
 

jester1x

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Focus on yourself and your own life for a change. In other words, put relationships with women as a low priority right now.

If you let the people in your life affect what you do or don't do then you'll never be happy or satisfied.

Take small steps and talk to women on only a social level at first. Just learn how to interact with the opposite sex now with no intention of dating. You'll start to get a feel for when things can be bumped up a notch with the opposite sex.

It's that old saying of learning how to walk before you can run.

Frankly, I'd get a job first. Much, much easier to date someone with a steady cash flow.
 

Wasabi_Master

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do the No Contact.
Why would you want to get her back if she cheated? there are better women out there...
i got dumped about 2 weeks ago and started the NC 9 days ago. She also was my only GF...
 

magickarl

Senior Don Juan
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The formula remains the same

Maintain yourself first, worry about everything else afterwards.

Ex girlfriend is done with. Out of your life period. You broke up with her, because instinctively you knew it was the right thing to do. You are bound to have second guesses, she was part of your life for two years. Stick by your guns. If she did that to you after you commited two years of your life to a relationship with her, she doesn't deserve your time, concern, attention or even acknowledgement. No contact. Not now, not in 2 weeks, not in 6 months, not for the rest of her life.

Work out, eat right, sleep right. Take care of yourself. Get a job and save money. Stay busy, and get your YOU situation correct. Then go out, date women, and find a new one.
 

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WC2

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trv26 said:
My gf of two years cheated on me. And although she sometimes says she'd like to get back. I assume its only because she doesn't want to be the one breaking up or something.

So guys help me out. How do I get my life back on track. First came the crappy University results, next, I've been jobless since then, then I have had some health problems that were one of the main reasons for the afore-mentioned two and are still not sorted. Now my first and only ever gf (of 2 years) cheated on me with another guy and I get the feeling she doesn't want to get back either although she pretends she does.

Help me out guys. How the hell do I get my life back on track? :'(. Just don't feel like I'll ever get another girl again. This one I only knew through my sister and I believe I only managed to chat her up based on anti-depressant induced confidence.
Until you've come to the realization that getting back with a woman who cheated on you is totally out of the question, you're going to be living a sob story.

A man who has his sh!t together would not even consider dating a girl who has crossed him before.

Yes, it's given that you're going through a lot of heavy sh!t right now. But the sooner you get back on track and realize that you're a man of higher value, the faster you're going to meet other women who are better.
 

Slick101

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Im going through the same thing right now...

make a list of all her negatives and keep looking at it every time you feel bad

Change your life around.. Your looks clothes and get a job eat workout sleep...

Once you start working on yourself youll feel much better... Also do the no contact...

And write your goals on piece of paper...
 

Getouttahere

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trv26 said:
My gf of two years cheated on me. And although she sometimes says she'd like to get back. I assume its only because she doesn't want to be the one breaking up or something.

So guys help me out. How do I get my life back on track. First came the crappy University results, next, I've been jobless since then, then I have had some health problems that were one of the main reasons for the afore-mentioned two and are still not sorted. Now my first and only ever gf (of 2 years) cheated on me with another guy and I get the feeling she doesn't want to get back either although she pretends she does.

Help me out guys. How the hell do I get my life back on track? :'(. Just don't feel like I'll ever get another girl again. This one I only knew through my sister and I believe I only managed to chat her up based on anti-depressant induced confidence.

As Doc Love would say you need to bottom line this.

Look at it, she went out and cheated on you while you guys were in a TWO year relationship. If she did it once she will do it again.

Don't give her anything more but the d**k and the door is my advice to you.
 

kingy

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this is the best thing that couldve happened to you, up until now u sounded pretty pathetic. get your stuff together, start taking action. and go out three nights a week as well.

this is your chance to grown and then not only have choice about women in your life, but be man enough for them not to stray.
 

refuelling79

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dear if you believe in the power of thoughts then turn your thoughts positive..i strongly suggest to you reading "the secret".
positive thoughts bring about positive energy and have the same domino effect as of negative thoughts...try it..i have and life becomes better...
 

schttrj

Master Don Juan
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i'm going to be a little different here.

the sort of advices above aren't going to help you. listen to what i'm saying now.

PINE OVER HER and KEEP PINING UNTIL YOU GET TIRED OF IT. believe me, eventually you will. and then's when you start seeing positive results.

you can force over yourself now but that's only going to sting harder. just realize you have been dumped and you cannot do anything about it. work on the next relationship in the mean time.

hit the gym, don't snuffle about it to others, study harder, just remind yourself that life moves on and you will move on too.

and yeah, don't contact her for the time being. a point will come when contacting her will not have effect on you anymore. then you can contact.

just work on yourself RIGHT NOW.

Ron.
 

Frank_Tartaglia

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You seriously need to get a job. I don't know what your degree was in but if it's in a field that hard to get a job in you should consider investing in another degree in a field that's in more demand. Or if you want to stay in the same field think about getting a grad degree.

If you don't have a job it means you're not financially independent. And if you're not financially independent then whatever relationships you have with women will be doomed to fail.
 

nismo-4

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When you're in a relationship and you lose your job, that starts a ticking time bomb. It may blow up in a week, maybe a month, maybe a day, or a second for all I know! By blow up, I mean she'll leave you for someone better since you just lost value.

Why get back with this girl anyway? Stop thinking about it. Do it now. She could do the same thing again and she has the upper hand.

The penalty for the crime on thinking of getting back with a girl who cheated on you is blue balls, waiting by the phone indefinitely, and lonely depressed nights. To dismiss this penalty, you must get your damn life straight. Then go for better women.

Case closed. Court is adjourned.
 

trv26

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Frank_Tartaglia said:
You seriously need to get a job. I don't know what your degree was in but if it's in a field that hard to get a job in you should consider investing in another degree in a field that's in more demand. Or if you want to stay in the same field think about getting a grad degree.
It's in Physics. The bigger problem is that my overall grade is one lower than the usual cut off for graduate training programmes.
 

AAAgent

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Keep your chin up man. Best thing you can do now is move on with your life and keep yourself occupied so you don't dwell on bad memories. Go to the gym, read, play so games, pick up a new hobby, etc. For my worst breakup i played a sh!tload of xbox360 live with my friends, played computer games, read my favorite book again, and from there i started to slowly recover. I started going back to the gym, going out, making new friends and before you know it you're back to normal. The healing process just takes some time. Stick it out, go no contact and man up.

AAAgent
 

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Da Realist

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You've hit rock bottom basically. Been there.
First, don't talk to your ex period.

Second, get up everyday and do what needs to be down. You can't change what has happened, but you can still choose what you want to do at the moment.

Third, for all the negative stuff that's happened, do something positive. Look for a job, rest from studying if possible, volunteer, help old people and children, etc. Just don't spend your time bogged down with worry.

Just remember life is not about circumstances, but about choices.
 

Frank_Tartaglia

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trv26 said:
It's in Physics. The bigger problem is that my overall grade is one lower than the usual cut off for graduate training programmes.
Perhaps you should look into finance. I know a few people who've made the transition from physics to finance. A lot of the math is the same, lots of modeling. Jobs in finance pay better than those in physics too.
 
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